The Argh Interview: Kristina Douglas
Welcome to the Kristina Douglas interview.
JENNIFER: Welcome. I’m Jennifer Crusie and I’m delighted to be talking to . . . who are you again?
KRISTINA: Oh my god, it’s Jennifer Crusie! I’m so honored! I’m Kristina Douglas, demure debut authoress extraordinaire!
JENNIFER: Of course. Welcome, Kristina. So you have this fabulous new series about angels. I love angels. Those fluffy wings. The shiny halos. They sound very sweet and inspirational.
KRISTINA: Not mine. They’ve fallen. In fact, they’re called The Fallen. They are sleek and dark and just a little bit nasty. In bed.
JENNIFER: In bed? There’s SEX in these novels? Oh. Not quite what I was thinking. So, dark angels having sex. Reminds me of Anne Stuart. But enough about legendary authors, tell us about your first book, The Fallen: Raziel. What’s that about?
KRISTINA: Well, God sent these hot angels down to earth to teach mankind about all sorts of things like warfare and cosmetics. And they lusted after females and decided earth was better. So they fell, God got pissed and made them vampires. They live in a mystical place and ferry dead people to heaven and hell, and they have human wives who die and leave them broken. The hero from the first book, Raziel, is one of them.
JENNIFER: He falls in love with a human woman?
KRISTINA: Yes. He picks up a mouthy young woman named Allie who’s been hit by a bus, and just when he’s supposed to toss her into hell, he pulls her back.
JENNIFER: Hit by a bus. I’ve had days like that, so already I like her. Is Raziel the leader of the Fallen? Is she going to be Queen of the Damned or something?
KRISTINA: Nope, Azazel is their leader. He’s gorgeous and looks thirty-something and has raging, fabulous sex with his hot, sixty-something, gray-haired wife. We won’t explore where that fantasy came from.
JENNIFER: Sounds good to me. But back to Raziel. He’s supposed to take Allie to hell but decides to save her. I’m thinking he gets in trouble for that.
KRISTINA: Yes. Raziel falls for Allie, against his better judgment, while the evil Nephilim, who are kinda like the Reivers in Firefly, try to kill and eat them and destroy Sheol. And someone on the inside is a traitor.
JENNIFER: I see. So it’s not a LITTLE story. We’re talking epic here. Like it could be a series.
KRISTINA: Very epic. And it is a series, Azazel’s story comes next.
JENNIFER: So the second book is called The Fallen: Azazel?
KRISTINA: Nope. Second one is The Fallen: Demon, since Azazel falls in love with Lilith, who some old dead guys think is a demon but we know is a feminist heroine.
JENNIFER: Angels, demons, death and hot sex. Do you know what this reminds me of? The books Anne Stuart writes. Not that I’m accusing you of trying to be like Anne Stuart. But maybe you were copying her a little? Maybe you think you’re the next Anne Stuart?
KRISTINA: Okay, okay, you’ve guessed it. Here’s a secret: I am Anne Stuart.
JENNIFER: No, honey, you’re not. I understand how you could feel that way, some days I think I’m Georgette Heyer, but then the feeling passes. There’s only one Anne Stuart.
KRISTINA: Yes, and that’s me.
JENNIFER: No, you’re Kristina Douglas. It’s okay, we can’t all be Anne Stuart. Although I have to say, she could write the hell out of this story. Let’s talk about your process. Tell me how you arrive at your stories.
KRISTINA: Fantasies. Sex fantasies, death fantasies . . .
JENNIFER: Sex fantasies?
KRISTINA: . . . sex, sex, sex.
JENNIFER: Oh. I collage. I may be doing this wrong. So are there more Fallen books in the series?
KRISTINA: Yes, there’s the archangel Michael. Wiry, tattooed, only interested in war. I may give him a nun.
JENNIFER: A nun.
KRISTINA: And we’ve got Metatron (once played by Alan Rickman). He’s gonna fall. His heroine is gonna say he sounds like a transformer.
JENNIFER: Does Metatron get a nun?
KRISTINA: Someone gets the nun. Not sure who. The other gets a warrior.
JENNIFER: It’s like a secret Santa swap. “Who got the nun?” Do you ever worry about somebody burning a cross on your lawn?
KRISTINA: Oh, hell no. I used to be a deacon in my church. I taught Sunday School. I sing in the choir.
JENNIFER: Still maybe we should do some Standard Author Questions before somebody gets offended. Where do you get your ideas?
KRISTINA: Amazon. They’ve got everything there. Except sex.
JENNIFER: Who do you want to be when you grow up?
KRISTINA: I want to be a cross between Mary Stewart and Georgette Heyer. With sex.
JENNIFER: What book do you wish you’d written?
KRISTINA: I wouldn’t have minded writing Outlander, which I finally finished. Great sex. Hmmm, I’m picking up a theme here.
JENNIFER: In the event of an apocalypse caused by fallen angels, what’s your weapon of choice?
KRISTINA: Baseball bat. I don’t like blood. The crunch of bone might be a bit jarring, and I suppose guns are good but they’re too distant. I think I’d want to be in there swinging.
JENNIFER: Mine would be a cast-iron frying pan. Because then later I could make Chicken Marsala. For the After-Apocalypse Party.
KRISTINA: I can just see us at the barricades, babe.
JENNIFER: Us? I just met you.
KRISTINA: We met fifteen years ago.
JENNIFER: No, that was Anne Stuart. Sum up The Fallen: Raziel in ninety-two words or less.
KRISTINA: Allie Watson steps in front of a bus and gets scooped up by a gorgeous creature who informs her she’s dead. He’s about to deposit her in the flames of hell when he thinks twice about it and pulls her back, almost dying in the process. He carts her off to Sheol, the land where the Fallen live, and while there they battle Nephilim, traitors, and each other, until tragedy forces her into a role she never wanted. Lots of sex, violence and happy endings – what more could a girl ask?
JENNIFER: It’s everything a reader could want! You know, Anne Stuart is going to love this book. You should get a quote from her.
KRISTINA: Like “This is an amazing story, the story I would have written if I’d changed my name to Kristina Douglas”?
JENNIFER: No, something better than that.
It has sex in it.