Argh Shorthand
Aug122010
Gawker recently ran a bit on Twitter shorthand that for the most part was just plain internet shorthand, and commenter J. Henry Waugh added a link to the Onion shorthand guide (posted after the jump because some of it is offensive which means I love it but you might just want to pass it by). All of which made me think: why doesn’t Argh have shorthand? Like NM (No Meeping) or IOAH (I’m On A Horse). There are probably a million catchphrases that have developed naturally here over the years–okay, a dozen maybe–so all we have to do is identify them and reduce them to acronyms like WTF (Why The Face [I thought that was the funniest line in the Modern Family pilot]). And to inspire you, here’s the Onion list:
I personally am going to add TOMTB to my list, not just for the “oh, my god, he’s hot” moments, but also for the “I’m being immature and it’s time to grow up” and “I’m through with training and going pro on this mother,” especially if I have to beat somebody up. Now that’s a great acronym.
Anybody want to play Argh Shorthand?
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102 Comments to 'Argh Shorthand'
On August 12, 2010 at 1:01 am Clever Cherry said...
Sure but first I need to know – what does YMMV stand for?
On August 12, 2010 at 1:26 am Jenny said...
Your mileage may vary. Basically it means, this is my opinion, your opinion may differ.
On August 13, 2010 at 12:57 am Clever Cherry said...
wow thanks for clearing that up. I like it but I never would have figured it out.
On August 12, 2010 at 1:46 am marly said...
Single friends on first dates use:
GMOOH – Get Me Out Of Here
MBM – Might Be Married
MBA – Mediocre But Arrogant
AQH – Asshole Quotient High
AQL – Asshole quotient Low
CB – Cheap Bastard
DIG – Date is Great
HHB – Having His Baby
On August 12, 2010 at 1:50 am Merry said...
My favorite is still TLA
On August 12, 2010 at 6:16 pm skye said...
What is TLA? I’m pretty much a web acronym noob.
On August 12, 2010 at 9:18 pm Merry said...
TLA = Three Letter Acronym
On August 12, 2010 at 2:22 am slcslavedriver said...
B.A.G.O.W. Big Add Glass Of Wine
DRB. Dirty Rat Bastard
LDPT. Lying Drunken Puppy Thief
PITA. Pain In The Ass
On August 13, 2010 at 1:00 am Clever Cherry said...
I LOVE lying drunken puppy thief. I am sooo going to use that one. Have to share with my atheist friend. She and I always look for curse words and phrases having nothing to do with god or religion.
On August 13, 2010 at 3:36 am Slave Driver said...
@Clever Cherry; that curse stems from an incident where a guy entered a pet shop, stole a puppy, took it to a bar with him, and eventually returned it (intoxicated; the guy, not the puppy) to the store. I worked security at the mall, and was called in by the store manager to arrest him, at which time he lied about the incident, and then began hitting on me. Since then I avoid LDPT’s, and it is one of the worse curses I can bestow upon a person. (Seriously, I’m here to arrest you, and you’re asking me out??? Are you nuts?)
On August 12, 2010 at 4:04 am toni said...
Thanks now to marly, I now know what a BOB is–I really thought it meant Bitch On Board, but that didn’t work in that context.
I think anyone who’s done a half-assed job of something, it should be described as DILDO (Did It Like Dowd, Oy.)
On August 12, 2010 at 11:19 am kc said...
okay, that made me laugh out loud for real!
On August 12, 2010 at 10:21 pm Betty Fokker said...
toni is on a roll :0)
On August 12, 2010 at 4:24 am colognegrrl said...
SFAFS (Seems funny at first sight))
BWCRAT(but who can remember all these) ?
SBSTO (So better spell things out)
OGADSE (or go and do something else)
On August 12, 2010 at 4:35 am Sure Thing said...
I think there’s no shorthand because we are all readers. We like to read full words and sentences and probably type the way we read.
On August 12, 2010 at 5:19 am Julie said...
That’s my case. And also, I am just not very good at this. But I tend to blame it on being “vintage.” (See Jenny, I remembered this time. Didn’t call either one of us old.)
On August 12, 2010 at 6:10 pm Jackie said...
No, we have shorthand, but it’s not that short. And funnier.
On August 12, 2010 at 5:42 am Ingrid said...
i agree, committing all those acronyms to memory is too much like work.
On August 12, 2010 at 6:28 am Genericfirstname said...
Well you do have your inside jokes, I had to recheck glittery hooha a couple times after reading it a while back.
On August 12, 2010 at 8:13 am Naked Under My Clothes said...
NBGTA: Nothing but good times ahead!
WAD: We’re all doomed.
On August 12, 2010 at 8:15 am Micki said...
I love L33t and internet short-hand. I think it’s a highly creative use of the language. Sometimes languages. One I learned recently was Rule 34, which means if you can think of any subject, someone has had sex with it, and shown it on the internet. And of course, there’s rule 33, which I just made up. If you can think of any subject, someone has zombified it. (See zombie unicorn back in the comments last week.)
Humor is based on surprise, and there’s some terribly clever and cute things out there. And there’s shorthand here. The first thing that comes to mind: Poor Baby. Then there’s TSTL. And one must not forget the Glittery Hoo-Ha, which is short-hand for all kinds of wonderfulness.
Acronym shorthand can be a PITA (pain in the ass). (-: Especially since WTF has already been taken, and might be taken wrongly if person A means “Why the face?” and person B reads, “What the f????” But, I still use those fun acronyms, especially since I’m not the kind of person who usually uses the F word, but feels much more freedom using it when everyone else is writing WTF? Yes, I’m highly peer-influenced.
On August 13, 2010 at 11:07 am Jenny said...
Wasn’t it somebody on here who said her mother signed a sympathy note LOL because she thought it meant Lots of Love?
On August 12, 2010 at 8:17 am Micki said...
Oh, but if we do go all acronym-y and shorthand, it’s very nice to have a glossary link somewhere. I’ve already forgotten what BOB stands for . . . although I do remember what it is (-:.
On August 13, 2010 at 11:08 am Jenny said...
Battery Operated Boyfriend, the best of which come from Japan. Well, at least the most inventive.
On September 3, 2010 at 12:44 pm Julie said...
Thanks to the cartoon Daria, I always think of BOB as (said by Quinn Morgendorffer) “B Period, O Period, B Period. It stands for Boy On Bike. I didn’t catch his name.”
On August 12, 2010 at 8:47 am Michelle said...
Love TOMTB! I’m gonna have to use that one more often, too.
My current favorite is EFP. (Epic Face Palm)
On August 12, 2010 at 9:23 am Diann said...
WTBC – Welcome to Bat Country
On August 12, 2010 at 9:37 am Chris in NY said...
LTD- Living the Dream.
On August 12, 2010 at 9:43 am Susan said...
I’m drawing a blank. What is TSTL?
On August 12, 2010 at 10:02 am Gin said...
Too Stupid To Live
I get a kick out turning the acronyms back into words, a la military alphabet (from a SmartBitches discussion a couple years ago). I love the circularity of it, from words to shorthand back to words that ARE shorthand (but longer).
WTF becomes Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.
I keep meaning to make a shirt with that on it.
On August 12, 2010 at 10:18 am Gina said...
Did you see the A-Team? Alpha Mike Foxtrot (Adios, Mother F’er)
On August 12, 2010 at 10:24 am Gina said...
FTW – for the win
IMMD – it made my day
FTH – flies to honey
DAMF – dumb-ass mother f’er
KMN – kill me now
Oh, and BOB is battery operated boyfriend
On August 12, 2010 at 6:33 pm Micki said...
THANK YOU! LOL, I could have googled it, but I am IL. Intellectually lazy.
On August 12, 2010 at 10:29 am JulieB said...
MRTO – Many Roads to Oz (Isn’t there already an Argh list or is that on the forums?)
On August 12, 2010 at 10:40 am Mary Stella said...
Naked Underneath My Clothes nailed my top two picks for Argh Acronyms!
Hand to God = HTG
In addition to TOMTB, can we also do TOYTB for Take off your training bra? I like that better than “Pull up your big girl panties”.
Argh also has GIBs and BIBs (Girls or Boys in the Basement.)
On August 12, 2010 at 6:10 pm Jenny said...
Yeah, I never liked the Big Girl Panties bit and I have no idea why. Maybe because of my aversion to the word “panties”? But Taking Off My Training Bra just has that “I’m going to kick some junior high ass” vibe to it.
On August 12, 2010 at 7:09 pm skye said...
The Big Girl Panties bit drives me nuts! It seems nasty without any of the fun part. And I always think of Granny panties too.
On August 13, 2010 at 12:25 am g and t said...
never did like the word panties.
On August 13, 2010 at 8:06 am Naked Under My Clothes said...
me neither! I thought I was the only one!!
On August 13, 2010 at 3:21 pm Carol Anne said...
Ah, perhaps, “panties” has a sexual connotation towards little girls, which, is absolutely vile. Now, I will never use “big girl panties” again.
On August 13, 2010 at 10:52 pm Georgia said...
You can’t even use that phrase where I come from – the word is “knickers”, thank you very much!
And Clever Cherry, a couple of my favourite non-religious curse phrases:
“Holy snapping duck s***!” and “Sweet hairy lemons!”
On August 12, 2010 at 10:51 am susan said...
Okay, I guess I’m officially OOTL, since I refuse to add Twitter to my time wasting internet habits (TWIH?) But my own favourite, which I think I made up but I’m sure others have used before me is LSHMTPO. Not so much since I hit TBM (aka Menopause).
More on TSTL. As Gin said, it’s Too Stupid Too Live. It’s Romantic Suspense shorthand for the heroine who goes exploring alone in the murder-ridden house at night, who confronts the villain with everything she knows about him, or who, when the unknown caller says, “Aunt Effie’s been in an accident, come to the hospital at once” rushes out to grab the taxi that just happens to be outside her door.
On August 12, 2010 at 11:59 am Bonnie C said...
I’d argue that TSTL defies genre or sub-genre.
On August 13, 2010 at 11:09 am Jenny said...
Me, too.
On August 12, 2010 at 11:34 am Sharon said...
I am not good with this stuff at all! I remember a hellish night with a group of engineers who all worked at the same company. All the wives became excluded from the conversation as they started talking in their “secret code business language”.
On August 12, 2010 at 11:41 am Strop said...
Totally off-topic: Amazon.co.uk is listing Maybe This Time as unavailable. It won’t even let me move it to my basket. Any ideas?
On August 12, 2010 at 6:08 pm Jenny said...
Huh. Oh, I know why. Nobody would over there would buy it as a single book, and nobody wanted to buy the next book which is the first in the Liz series. So no British sale. Yes, I know, but this is publishing.
On August 12, 2010 at 11:58 am Kate G said...
Ahhhhhh. I only understood about half of what I just read. Although I did remember what a BOB is. I recently had that conversation with a male friend of mine. Weird, huh? LSHMTPO means what, exactly?
Oh and do you guys mind that I mix up my letters e and i especially and genereally don’t recognize my spelling mistakes? Because if it’s too distracting I’ll go back to commenting in word and pasting it in. I just hate the extra steps… Lazy, I know.
TDOTMTE (too damn old to make the effort)
On August 12, 2010 at 12:48 pm marly said...
Hi, Kate! LSHMTPO is (I think) Laughed So Hard My Teeth Popped Out). The date shorthand started out for quick texting. We have a rule that no one goes on a blind date without back-up, but it’s good for social situations, too. Even R. will ask, “What’s the AQ in here?” somtimes. Of course, if someone overhears and asks about it, it can be awkward.
On August 12, 2010 at 8:45 pm Ami said...
Awesome quotient. If they question it, it’s the other AQ.
On August 13, 2010 at 9:21 am Susan D said...
Close, Marly. Not Teeth, but Tampon.
On August 13, 2010 at 1:48 pm marly said...
Really? REALLY? Good Grief.
On August 13, 2010 at 1:51 pm Jenny said...
I know.
On August 12, 2010 at 6:38 pm Micki said...
(-: It’s the internet. I think most of us are more interested in what you have to say, rather than how you say it. As long as I can see your point, I’m OK. (-: It’s my understanding that the copy-editor crowd is a little more demanding, though, LOL! Occupational hazards . . . .
On August 12, 2010 at 6:42 pm CrankyOtter said...
IMHO (In my humble opinion) the only typos worth correcting in casual forums like this are those that interfere with understanding. Like if you say “I don’t like that” when I mean “I do like that”, which might happen if you re-phrase something in a pre-submit edit. I keep noticing that I don’t close my parenthesis after things are posted. Whoops. But unless one is posting again for some other reason, and the message isn’t compromised (and you NEVER EVER make a mistake again) it’s fine to just let the typos pass without comment. That’s knot too say ewe Cannes just knot spell everything write, because volume of typos or word substitutions interferes with the message. But anyone making an honest effort to communicate well shouldn’t be apologizing for minor errors here. YMMV (defined in earlier reply).
If you were writing a memo or presentation for professional distribution, we would be having a different discussion. The number of engineers who don’t know the difference between effect and affect – or get it wrong fully 90% of the time – would boggle your mind.
NBGTA
On August 12, 2010 at 7:11 pm skye said...
What Cranky Otter said.
On August 12, 2010 at 9:22 pm Merry said...
The number of engineers who don’t know the difference between effect and affect – or get it wrong fully 90% of the time – would boggle your mind.
Sadly, it wouldn’t. I’ve given up on trying to teach them the difference between i.e. and e.g. How they can be so smart re: technology and not be able to grasp Latin abbreviations does boggle my mind.
On August 12, 2010 at 9:52 pm Jenny said...
I had an editor change it and make it wrong in one of my books. I threw the fit heard round the world and they changed it back, but jeez.
On August 12, 2010 at 10:23 pm Betty Fokker said...
Was it in 1998? I think I heard it …
On August 12, 2010 at 12:03 pm Bonnie C said...
IOAH. *snort*
My personal go-tos are FUBAR and SNAFU, tho they’re military rather than internet.
How about RWB (real wall banger) as in: That book was a RWB because the hero was FUBAR and the heroine TSTL. After all, we here at Argh Ink strive for clarity when opining that we don’t like a particular work rather than stooping to “This sux!”
On August 12, 2010 at 2:52 pm Stephanie said...
personally i LOVE it when my straight-laced friends use FUBAR and SNAFU becuase they think they are words and don’t know that they are acronyms. i grew up in a military family and i knew enough that if i used those words i’d get my mouth washed out with soap.
On August 12, 2010 at 3:18 pm Jenny said...
I knew what the acronyms meant but my parents probably didn’t. Hence no mouth soap. But it is interesting how they’ve evolved into words that represent what the phrase meant. Like one of those German words it takes three sentences to define.
On August 12, 2010 at 12:11 pm followingtheroad said...
I like HOGMP but it should be HOGMW as in…
Hang on, getting more wine. There. It’s been Cherrified.
On August 12, 2010 at 12:21 pm me said...
Can’t forget GAM.
On August 12, 2010 at 12:51 pm Gina said...
Don’t forget TWSS, like when I asked my pregnant friend if I could rub her belly and she said “Yeah, rub it now while it’s still hard” (she’d just finished a very large dinner).
On August 12, 2010 at 12:55 pm Carol Anne said...
I am vintage or as in a fine wine, getting better all the time. I see block letters and think, what the hell does that mean? Well, I do know BOB, IMHO, and like TOMTB, much like pulling my big girl panties up or betty up or there is going to be trouble, right here in River City. I had to google the letters for the light to come on. The first time I saw Jenny’s book titles abbreviated, thought, it was some kind of code. As a garrulous reader type, give me the word.
On August 12, 2010 at 1:40 pm Naked Under My Clothes said...
What’s the one that Jenny had to keep cutting out of the Mayer collabs? Is this right, or almost?
ITDTID: In the darkness, there is death.
On August 12, 2010 at 2:15 pm Jenny said...
Or MDF. Multiple Density Fiberboard or Movement Draws Fire.
On August 12, 2010 at 2:49 pm Ericka said...
in addition to FUBAR and SNAFU, i use WAG or SWAG a lot. (wild ass guess and scientific wild ass guess)
some friends and i have our own shorthand, which includes the AQ as well as EBC and BCQ – Entering Bat Country and Bat Country Quotient.
On August 12, 2010 at 3:51 pm Deborah Blake said...
Oh, *that* BOB. (snort-giggle)
I like TSTL (well, as shorthand, not in a heroine). And we could have PUYBGP (pull up your big girl panties). But we definitely need GH (glittery hooha)…or would that be GHH?
Honestly, I can’t keep track of most of these…also a relic
BTW, I hear your house is *really* clean today! Happy guest-hosting. All the Betties wish they were there, as usual.
On August 12, 2010 at 6:24 pm Gin said...
Don”t forget: BTCKE.
From the Cherries yahoogroup, for when a member needs information, either for real life or for fiction, and it stands for “”Because The Cherries Know Everything,”" and is meant in a good way, b/c someone on the list is bound to know something about everything, not in a know-it-all sort of way. And it”s really amazing how true it is; there”ve been some really out there questions that a Cherry has had more than a WAG or SWAG in response.
(And apologies for the weird quotations marks; this has been the summer of the computer melt-downs for me, and this is just the latest headache.)
On August 12, 2010 at 8:21 pm Deborah Blake said...
Here’s one for you:
IHTY?
It stands for “Is He There Yet????”
On August 12, 2010 at 8:53 pm Ami said...
TOMTB….laughed so hard I scared the piggie!
On August 12, 2010 at 10:33 pm Betty Fokker said...
Everyone’s already used the cool acronyms. *pout*
The ones I remember the most (besides FUBAR and such) are the ones form the medical profession. My dad is an ER doc and they have things like the DBQ … the Dirt Bag Quotient. It’s the ratio between the number of misspelled tattoos and how many days since the patient has participated in basic human hygiene. The skankier the patient, the likelier he’s faking a heart attack hoping for narcotics.
On August 12, 2010 at 10:38 pm Betty Fokker said...
Sweet Babou is a software developer and they are always telling people to RTFM (read the fucking manual). Also, PEBKAC (peripheral error between keyboard and chair) … which they use to say the problem is the idjit using the computer right in front of the poor idjit who is using the computer.
On August 12, 2010 at 11:52 pm Susank said...
Me too. You know those stickers on a computer that said ‘Intel Inside’, we wanted to get some printed that said ‘Intel Inside, Idiot Outside’.
On August 13, 2010 at 1:14 pm Bonnie C said...
The Hubbin is IT and uses the phrase “the problem lies between the leyboard and the chair” constantly. Also, he like “Error code ID-10-T”.
On August 12, 2010 at 10:54 pm Micki said...
LOL, my eighth grade English teacher was as old as plains, and he would always yell at unprepared students, “It’s in the BOOK!” Sounds like what he really wanted to say was RTFB. hee-hee!
On August 12, 2010 at 11:48 pm Susank said...
RFYOO. Responsible for your own orgasm…
On August 13, 2010 at 12:07 am Alyssa Goodnight said...
I loved ‘Why The Face’ too! Then again, I love half the lines in Modern Family.
On August 13, 2010 at 1:48 am Clever Cherry said...
The only thing I didn’t see explained was GAM & TWSS. Of course, I’ve forgotten what SNAFU stands for.
As for the person thinking everyone wants to be at Chez Crusie today. Uh, not so much. Boundaries people, boundaries. I don’t really even want specific details later. Pass or fail works for me.
On August 13, 2010 at 11:13 am Jenny said...
GAM: God Among Men (from the He Wrote, She Wrote blog)
TWSS: That’s What She Said (fourteen-year-old boy’s fave)
SNAFU: Situation Normal All Fucked Up (military shorthand, now a word)
On August 13, 2010 at 4:08 am Ericka said...
ooh, i forgot… IT lingo – an eye-D-10-tea error => idiot
On August 13, 2010 at 1:16 pm Bonnie C said...
lol! dang nesting! I just put that up above before I scrolled down and found this.
On August 13, 2010 at 11:34 am Carol Anne said...
Clever Cherry – why did people think they would be at Chez Crusie’s? Just a quick safe, here and all is wonderful suffices.
FUBAR, forgotten what that means, fucked up beyond all reality…fucked up badly and running…fucked up badly ass retreating…fucked up but actively regrouping…
On August 13, 2010 at 1:04 pm Jenny said...
Yeah, really, I am not part of this; they’re somewhere else putting in the groundwork for this new turn in their relationship, and it’s got nothing to do with me. Eventually, they’ll end up back here and it will still have nothing to do with me. Privacy, that’s the ticket.
On August 13, 2010 at 11:57 am ubergeekmom said...
I see no has mentioned my favorite Cherry abbreviation — GHH Glittery Hoo-ha. Thanks Lani!
On August 13, 2010 at 12:36 pm Brenda said...
Carol Anne: FUBAR = fucked up beyond all recognition
On August 13, 2010 at 2:42 pm Carol Anne said...
Thank you, Brenda.
On August 13, 2010 at 3:00 pm Jackie said...
F’d up beyond all reason is what I heard. Both make ummm…..
On August 13, 2010 at 7:08 pm Ami said...
I always heard the R in FUBAR as recognition, but that might just be the military.
Our IT guy always claims he is “going on a PICNIC” = problem in chair not in computer.
On August 13, 2010 at 10:40 pm julia said...
IOIKTR- It’s okay, I kept the receipt
On August 13, 2010 at 10:42 pm Jenny said...
LOVE it.
On August 13, 2010 at 11:11 pm Georgia said...
One from my dad, used by Aussie doctors in the case of older patients:
JPFROG – Just Plain F’ing Run Out of Gas
On August 14, 2010 at 2:54 am Julie said...
From my cop husband: DWO = Driving While Old (usually in the case of someone going 15 miles below the speed limit, or crashing into a building from a parked position because they “thought” that was the brake.
On August 14, 2010 at 2:56 am Julie said...
Crap, didn’t close the parentheses.
On August 14, 2010 at 3:03 am Gary said...
On August 12, 2010 at 12:55 pm Carol Anne said…
I am vintage or as in a fine wine, getting better all the time. I see block letters and think, what the hell does that mean? Well, I do know BOB, IMHO, and like TOMTB, much like pulling my big girl panties up or betty up or there is going to be trouble, right here in River City. I had to google the letters for the light to come on. The first time I saw Jenny’s book titles abbreviated, thought, it was some kind of code. As a garrulous reader type, give me the word
The abbreviations and acronyms are bad enough, but if you don’t know the etymology of the expression behind the letters, it’s worse. Big Girl Panties or any other kind, what does it mean when she says “I’m going to pull them up”? Is she girding her loins to do battle? Or, like my older brother used to say, “This party’s getting nasty – I’ve a good mind to get dressed and leave.”
Also, for those who avoid using the F-word, the first time I looked up SNAFU in my Funk & Wagnalls, it said “Situation Normal; All Fouled Up”. Same for FUBAR – Fouled Up Beyond All Repair. I had to explain MILF to a teenager (my son) who hadn’t seen “American Pie”, so I said “Mom I Lust For”. Close enough.
Gary
On August 14, 2010 at 12:18 pm Jenny said...
Oooh, quick thinking on Mom I Lust For. I’d have stood there going, “Uh . . . “
On August 15, 2010 at 5:07 pm Carol Anne said...
Alright then, my education is now complete, with the last one. Thank you, Google, and Wikipedi.
On August 14, 2010 at 11:50 am TanyaG said...
No strong feelings on the “big girl panties” phrase, but my sister saw a t-shirt that said, “I’ve put on my big-girl panties so often, the elastic is shot and now I’m afraid I might have to show my ass…” Need that.
On August 15, 2010 at 6:43 pm Lulu said...
IANAUC
I am not a unicorn collector.
that is all.
On August 17, 2010 at 12:45 am London Mabel said...
I haaate online shorthand, especially in blog communities–because it makes it like a closed club that’s really hard to join late in the game! Or hard to partake of casually! :-p