That’s Two
Aug52010
You know, you think you know somebody and then they move in with you and suddenly their dark sides emerge. In the case of Lani Diane Rich, it’s particularly egregious.
First I found out about her tawdry past. We were looking at one of those gaudy unicorn illustrations, and I was making mock, and she said, “I used to collect unicorns.”
The silence stretched out and she looked up and said, “What?”
I said, “This is the kind of thing you tell people before you move in.”
She said, “I don’t collect them now.”
I said, “Once a unicorn collector, always a unicorn collector.” Then the next time I was at T. J. Maxx, I saw a silver bag with a pink unicorn on it marked down to $7. I brought it home and gave it to her.
“So this is how it’s going to be,” she said.
That was One.
Today in the car coming back from KMart, we were talking about what movie we could watch this weekend that wasn’t on PopD. I said, “We can always watch American Dreamer again.”
She said, “I’ve never seen it.”
I almost drove off the road. “You’ve never seen it? You call yourself a romance writer and you’ve never seen American Dreamer?”
“I don’t think so.”
“You’ve never seen the Eiffel Tower jello mold?”
“No,” she said, positive now.
“Jesus,” I said.
We drove along in silence. She’s never seen American Dreamer. Wait’ll I tell Krissie, I thought. Heads will explode.
“Jen?” she said.
“That’s Two,” I told her.
Freaking unicorns and now this. God knows what else lurks beneath that sunny exterior. I live in fear, I really do.
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149 Comments to 'That’s Two'
On August 5, 2010 at 2:29 pm Merry said...
What happens when you get to three?
On August 5, 2010 at 2:35 pm Jenny said...
Krissie and I reprogram her.
On August 6, 2010 at 1:04 am Karen Poling said...
IMDB for me too. Does it help if we rent the movie? Or is it too late for us?
On August 6, 2010 at 7:08 am Jenny said...
It’s never too late.
On August 5, 2010 at 2:44 pm Michelle said...
Oh, that’s just hilarious. I’m not a unicorn collector, but I had a collection. I wanted to take horseback riding lessons as a kid, so instead people decided to start giving me unicorn crap. Same thing, right? Um, no. Wrong.
And I honestly had to IMDB American Dreamer. I’m so ashamed.
On August 5, 2010 at 2:45 pm Jenny said...
My God, another one?
On August 5, 2010 at 2:50 pm Naked Under My Clothes said...
Me neither. That makes three. Do I get to jump straight to reprogramming?
On August 5, 2010 at 2:56 pm Jenny said...
What is WRONG with you people?
On August 5, 2010 at 3:39 pm toni said...
Um. Four.
On August 5, 2010 at 3:43 pm toni said...
I meant “me, too.” There’s a horde of us. Kinda like the plague, only cuter.
On August 5, 2010 at 5:17 pm Chris said...
Five…………….
On August 5, 2010 at 7:36 pm Briana said...
Five. Heck, I’d never even HEARD of it. Oops.
On August 5, 2010 at 6:12 pm Naked Under My Clothes said...
In my own defense, can I just point out that it was about the movie. Not unicorns. Not that there’s anything wrong with collecting unicorns. Just that I don’t want to be mistaken for the kind of person who collects them.
On August 5, 2010 at 7:04 pm JulieB said...
Whatever the number is up to now. Me neither.
And, I did collect unicorns, and I’m NOT sorry. (I still have a REALLY cool book with photos of tapestries and art through the ages. My daughter just stole it and I recently stole it back)
On August 5, 2010 at 7:05 pm JulieB said...
The book is art….
On August 5, 2010 at 7:05 pm JulieB said...
Really.
On August 5, 2010 at 8:26 pm Naked Under My Clothes said...
…and pictures of tapestry unicorns, perchance? Huh?
On August 5, 2010 at 9:49 pm JulieB said...
Yes. Yes. Pictures of tapesty unicorns. And, I did have one — no two — sculptures. …And some sort of Halmark Glass thing-y (actually, I think I still have that) and a pewter unicorn head with jewelry bits inside — unicorn earrings, a necklace… (actually, I think I still have that too….) But the thing is, that’s probably ALL, so really, it was _lame_ in terms of a collection. (Oh, wait, the peweter unicorn D&D statuette from the first geek boyfriend…)
Hey, it was the _’80′s_ for cryin’ out loud.
On August 5, 2010 at 2:51 pm doris in munich said...
After watching the “Last Unicorn” as a kid I had a poster with a unicorn on my wall over my bed iirc – not for very long though, just the echo of the film – , and I had to IMDB the movie, too. But we don’t get every single US movie over here (although pretty much the majority), so this might act as explanation.
So what’s the deal with unicorns and American Dreamer? – she says innocently.
On August 5, 2010 at 3:05 pm Carol said...
My morning was really wretched and then I came here and read your blog. I laughed so hard my eyes watered. Thanks, Jenny, I feel better now.
BTW, I also collected unicorns when I was younger, and I’ve never seen American Dreamer. Sigh. I guess I’m in the doghouse now. Maybe I get brownie points for collecting Crusie books?
On August 5, 2010 at 3:07 pm DJ said...
I was an inadvertent unicorn collector. When I was about four, I admired a unicorn card at a store, and my parents bought it for me. I thought it was the most beautiful piece of art ever created. I hung it over my bed. And there you have it… one card. But ever after when a family member gave me a present, it tended to be a unicorn something-or-other, with a unicorn gift card to go along with… all this was terribly exciting and fun at first, becoming gradually less thrilling, until I turned 12, and then I just hated them, but wasn’t allowed to get rid of anything because they had been gifts. Happily, I’m 46 now and living unicorn free!
On August 5, 2010 at 3:12 pm Gina said...
The Last Unicorn – one of my top 2 movies from childhood. Which I totally didn’t get all of as a kid. It’s nice that it grew with me.
Added American Dreamer to the Netflix queue. Hadn’t heard of it before, but it sounds great!
On August 5, 2010 at 8:59 pm Karen said...
I wonder if Netflix will be puzzled by the sudden uptick in requests for American Dreamer…
On August 6, 2010 at 8:17 pm bernie said...
or the uptick for “the last unicorn” as I have never seen that. Netflix definitely has American Dreamer since I rented that about year ago when Jenny mentioned it in one of her blogs… gotta love JoBeth Williams.
On August 5, 2010 at 3:18 pm AgTigress said...
What’s wrong with unicorns? Not that I ever collected them, but they’re equine, so they can’t be all bad, even if mythical. Okay, there are an awful lot of ghastly, twee unicorn pics around, but the idea of a horned horse is no odder (or possibly less odd) than a winged horse, and winged horses have been around for yonks. So to speak. Lovely Greek and Etruscan and Roman renderings of Pegasus.
And I have never HEARD of American Dreamer, let alone seen it.
I’ll go and stand in the corner now, with my face towards the wall …
On August 5, 2010 at 3:29 pm Jenny said...
I’m appalled. Really.
On August 5, 2010 at 3:24 pm Tabs said...
Hey, unicorn statues have their uses! Well, they do if you’re Veronica Mars and you have to stab a rapist…
On August 5, 2010 at 3:27 pm skye said...
I had a few unicorns, but really didn’t collect them.
I collected Dragons! (And teddy bears. And cats.)
And I have never seen American Dreamer.
Does this mean I have to vacate the premises, never to darken the door of ArghInk again? (Did I mention that I have a tiny pewter unicorn that is so fat it looks pregnant?)
On August 5, 2010 at 3:29 pm Jenny said...
No, no.
You’re only at Two.
On August 5, 2010 at 3:30 pm Deborah Blake said...
Er…I haven’t seen American Dreamer, either. Putting myself in the corner, so you don’t have to.
On August 7, 2010 at 3:54 pm Jennifer said...
I never even heard of the movie’s existence. Added it to Netflix, okay?!?!
On August 7, 2010 at 5:22 pm Jenny said...
About damn time.
On August 5, 2010 at 3:30 pm robena grant said...
I did not collect unicorns, ever. And, I’ve never seen or heard of American Dreamer. That might be because in 1984 I was not a writer, had a toddler and a new born and a demanding Doctor husband, who was on call 24/7. When I look back on those years I know I missed a lot, and my only desire was to find one night, just one night when I could sleep straight through. Well, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. : )
I googled the movie and it sounds fun, although the wikipedia critique questioned the heroine’s believability because she could amazingly speak fluent Russian and German after a bump on the head and suffering from amnesia. Hey we’re romance authors, throw in a secret baby and we’re good. Ducking and running…
On August 7, 2010 at 7:48 am Lora said...
Never heard of it. But in 84 i was in kindergarten.
On August 5, 2010 at 3:30 pm Jenny said...
Every time I hear, “I collect unicorns,” I think of that scene from Dodgeball. You know Vince Vaughn REALLY wanted to sleep with her to go in there.
On August 5, 2010 at 3:32 pm Alastair said...
You’re right, Jenny — you never know someone until you live with them, and then… well, the dark secrets just come a-bubbling up.
Luckily, you’re taking the hit for me on this one, so… y’know, thank you. I’ll be sure to keep my eyes peeled for unicorns.
Oh, and I’ve never seen American Dreamer, but I’m Scottish, so I had to get a special visa just to watch American Beauty, and there’s a limit of one every five years. But the end of 2013? I’m there.
On August 5, 2010 at 3:47 pm LilyC said...
I’ve never heard of it either. Are you sure it’s a real film?
I’m on a unicorn.
On August 5, 2010 at 5:00 pm Gina said...
Look at your Netflix queue, now look at me. Put this movie on your Netflix queue, now back at me.
On August 5, 2010 at 5:22 pm Jenny said...
You’re on a horse.
On August 5, 2010 at 7:53 pm Ginny said...
OMG! I was just adding the movie to my Netflix account when I read this and spit iced tea on the keyboard! Yeah, that’ll take some explaining to my husband.
I never saw the movie but I remember it coming out. I hated JoBeth Williams after seeing her in the Big Chill and couldn’t get past it. Hopefully, I’ve grown since then. Hah!
Best unicorns in a movie? “Legend” with Tim Curry. And Thank God for Tim Curry since you have to watch Boy Wonder (Tom Cruise), Midge (Mia Sara) and twinkly fairy voices. Trust me on this, just fast forward to the Tim Curry parts.
On August 5, 2010 at 4:02 pm Beth E. said...
Never been a fan of unicorns myself, but I have definitely seen American Dreamer. Multiple times. I even own it.
On August 5, 2010 at 9:53 pm JulieB said...
Stop kissing up Beth E.
On August 7, 2010 at 10:30 am Kelly S said...
Finally! I’ve been running down the comments to see when there was someone like me – a non unicorn collector and an American Dreamer fan. I own the movie too. I can quote entire segments. Saw it the theater. I’ve loaned it out and had to buy a 2nd copy. It is the best! I had wanted it for popd except it seemed a little to actiony to completely fit. It is awesome and may all you who have never seen it get it now!
The first sex scene is so funny. The kitchen scene is awesome. The jello Eiffel tower, a piece of art. The drunk Russians. … See it now people! Hmm, maybe I’ll rewatch it too.
On August 5, 2010 at 4:03 pm Jennifer said...
I haven’t seen American Dreamer. I’d never heard of it, either. Jenny, you may be the only one who has seen it. You may need to reconsider that second count against Lucy/Lani. Or maybe, that’s One for you?
On August 5, 2010 at 4:05 pm Jennifer said...
Whoops, and Beth E. blows my theory. I guess that’s not One for you. I still think you should let Lucy off the hook, though.
On August 5, 2010 at 4:08 pm Merry said...
There are at least three of us who own a copy
On August 5, 2010 at 4:35 pm Jenny said...
I think I may own three copies. In case they stop selling it.
On August 5, 2010 at 5:23 pm followingtheroad said...
Can you send one to me? Because I live in the Middle of NoWhere, where Netflix only delivers once a week and our internet is dial-up slow. And I don’t collect unicorns, so that puts me one up on every one else.
Except I do collect Precious Moments. They tend to contain unicorn-like things and rainbows coming out of everything, everywhere. Maybe that puts me back at two. Sh*t.
Okay. Keep your three copies and I’ll check the internets for a cheap copy.
On August 7, 2010 at 10:31 am Kelly S said...
I have it on DVD and VHS. So, count is up to 4, at least.
On August 5, 2010 at 4:11 pm Jill said...
Trailer. Must get the movie
http://www.flixster.com/movie/american-dreamer
On August 5, 2010 at 4:38 pm Becke Martin/Davis said...
Lani – YOU’VE NEVER SEEN AMERICAN DREAMER?? I’m speechless. I hope you are going to remedy this immediately. Other recommendations, besides FRENCH KISS which I know you’ve already seen, are ONLY YOU with Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey, Jr., and an odd duck of a movie called UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, starring Kathy Bates.
I won’t tell anyone you used to collect unicorns if you don’t tell anyone I used to collect cats.
On August 5, 2010 at 4:44 pm freddie said...
Me Neither, but it is now in my netflix queue. (I’ve grown to trust your taste, ms. crusie…)
On August 5, 2010 at 4:51 pm Becke Martin/Davis said...
Reading through this thread, I can’t believe so many of you haven’t seen AMERICAN DREAMER. When I get ticked off at my husband, I tell myself, “Well, at least he’s not like that jerk in American Dreamer.” And half the heroes in my stories are secretly Tom Conti, back in the day. BTW, his daughter Nina Conti does a great, somewhat naughty, show with a puppet named Monk. And yes, I do collect puppets now. I blame Craig Ferguson. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E25ebRjx8w0
On August 5, 2010 at 4:53 pm Betty Fokker said...
Well, I just take some umbrage here! I collected Unicorns … they were the perfect accessory to go with my Glittery HooHa, fluffy dresses, and general aura of fabulous.
On August 5, 2010 at 6:17 pm Naked Under My Clothes said...
Fokker, you set the bar too high. Once the word got out about your collection, everyone else bit the uni-horn and moved on. Why even try when Fokker’s already doing it with far more awesome sauce than ordinary folks can contemplate?
On August 6, 2010 at 7:13 am Betty Fokker said...
It’s hard being this magnificent. Often, when I am just trying to brush my teeth, I am blinded by my own radiance in the bathroom sink. And It’s soooooo hard to take a shower at the YMCA because everyone notices the trail of glitter. These are the burdens I bear.
On August 5, 2010 at 5:02 pm Allie said...
Laughed out loud.
No unicorns. (Unless She-Ra had one?)
Never heard of the movie.
But! The first time I heard “that’s one” was in a romance novel, so I’m doubly amused.
On August 5, 2010 at 5:24 pm followingtheroad said...
The Princess of Power! She had an awesome sword.
Rainbow Bright had one, I believe. I did like that girl. She had style. I wonder if that counts?
On August 5, 2010 at 5:34 pm Lindsey said...
Rainbow Brite rode a regular horse, but he could run on rainbows and spoke with a British accent, so I could see how you would think unicorn. She-Ra’s horse turned into a unicorn every time she turned into She-Ra, but otherwise lived as a horse. Does transforming into a unicorn count as a unicorn?
And I have no unicorn figures. But I do have a She-Ra…
On August 6, 2010 at 1:00 am followingtheroad said...
Oh well. I see a rainbow-tailed horse and my poor little brain says UNICORN! Rainbows and unicorns belong together.
On August 6, 2010 at 8:48 am Allie said...
I was on Wikipedia yesterday to find out if that thing, indeed, turn into a unicorn (it does), and found out that She-Ra may have been called “the Princess of Power,” but her sword, unlike her brother’s, was “the Sword of Protection.” Then I realized she didn’t even get to declare power when she switched personas, just yell out her own name.
Bah.
On August 5, 2010 at 11:21 pm Moth said...
She-Ra had a winged horse with a horn.
I was She-Ra for Halloween one year…
On August 5, 2010 at 5:07 pm Diane (TT) said...
I am madly curious about the reprogramming process.
Never collected unicorns, but American Dreamer is yet another film I haven’t seen. OTOH, I’m not much of a movie watcher (because I read ALL THE TIME instead), and if it hadn’t been for work-avoidance and AMC in grad school, I wouldn’t have seen any of the PopD films, either (as it is, I think I’ve seen 7 of the 9 so far, but I think I’ve only seen 4 of the remaining ones).
I’m sure I could come up with several strikes to earn myself reprogramming. Because I’ll bet it’d be fun.
On August 5, 2010 at 5:15 pm Ami said...
Fokker, you crack me up. Everytime.
And since we’re on a roll, I did collect unicorns. It might have been a law, since every eight year-old girl I knew had them. Unicorns and the purple gym bag purse. And the hangy feather roach clip hair accessory. AND I have never seen American Dreamer. Surely you aren’t going to hold our collective questionable taste against Lani/Lucy?
On August 6, 2010 at 7:20 am Betty Fokker said...
Many thanks :0)
On August 5, 2010 at 5:18 pm Kate Diamond said...
The only reason I know about American Dreamer is because I’m a Crusie fan… but I’ve never actually seen it. I just put it on my Netflix queue. It’s going to be awhile. My husband and I keep loading it up with movies that the other spouse “needs to see.”
On August 5, 2010 at 5:23 pm CrankyOtter said...
It’s probably not a coincidence that another NYT bestselling romance author sat me down and had me watch American Dreamer, huh? It was ok, but the movie wasn’t “sticky” for me. For some reason I remember Romancing the Stone much better, but neither was a favorite. (Yeah, I’m out of the club.)
I did not collect unicorns or dragons, but that was probably due to shortage of funds as I thought about getting them a lot.
Lastly, BF mentioned the glittery hoo-ha. I’m lucky I haven’t taken to vajazzling as I managed to bruise mine on a rock while river rafting last weekend. I can’t/won’t imagine the damage had I tried to go extra glittery.
On August 6, 2010 at 7:20 am Betty Fokker said...
The Glittery Hooha is something one is born with. Others vajazzle their vajayjays because they are lacking in the natural sparkles. Becasue you are a Crusie fan, and therefore awesome, I suspect you also have a Glittery Hooha too. Do you ever have to vacuum up drifts of glitter and not know the source? Do your shoes ever sparkle? Do your chairs glow? Be sure to ask your gynecologist to check for glitter next time. A glittery Hooha needs proper maintenance after all.
On August 5, 2010 at 5:25 pm followingtheroad said...
Okay. Going to search Ebay for American Dreamer now. I can’t go the rest of my life without seeing the Eiffel Tower in Jello.
On August 5, 2010 at 5:27 pm Dayna said...
Okay, I’m one for two. Never heard of American Dreamer, but my library has a copy so I’m on for this weekend. I never collected anything. A lot of people gave me cat related items, because I’ve had cats (and dogs) most of my life. But I didn’t collect. No, I didn’t. I’m telling you, I didn’t.
On August 5, 2010 at 5:29 pm marly said...
Wait now. What about: “As long as Unicorns roam the earth, Evil cannot harm the pure of heart.”? You know, Lily and Tim Curry as The Lord of Darkness and, oh, yeah, that Cruise fellow when he was very young. And the unicorns! They were white with flowing manes, galloping so joyously down the creek bed. Gorgeous. Dreamy. The best part of Legend. But I never collected them and that’s my story.
On August 5, 2010 at 5:48 pm skye said...
Tim Curry as Lord of Darkness rocked! OMG. And the girl Lily was way more interesting when she was dressed in that black wedding dress. IN that movie, the dark side was far more interesting than the light side!
On August 5, 2010 at 5:43 pm Lola said...
The year 1984 was a blur to me. I was desperate to graduate college that year with more than a full semester’s load of classes. So movie night wasn’t a big priority for me. That’s my excuse.
I am, and have always been, a collector of cats.
On August 5, 2010 at 5:51 pm toni said...
I have collected some odd things, but never unicorns. Here are my French drip coffee pots:
here
Which would probably make much more sense if I actually drank coffee.
On August 5, 2010 at 9:56 pm JulieB said...
Ooooh! Pretty!
I have an Italian espresso maker that has Saved My Life on Girl Scout camping trips. Too bad you don’t drink coffee — I’d meet you at a con and make you some good Joe.
On August 5, 2010 at 6:08 pm R. said...
I see my wife has mentioned the unicorns she never collected. As for American Dreamer, I didn’t think there was much romance, but there sure was a lot of sex. Oh, wait. Never mind. I’m thinking of American Creamer, a
pornart film. But I’ve never seen an art film. That’s my story.On August 6, 2010 at 1:08 am Clever Cherry aka Judy Long said...
American Creamer. I almost wet myself laughing!
On August 6, 2010 at 7:22 am Betty Fokker said...
I was on the floor, laughing. I got glitter all over my clothes!
On August 6, 2010 at 3:57 pm marly said...
Oh, cute. Hey, Funny Guy, they probably don’t know you convinced all your buddies this summer that “Lesbian Spank Inferno” from “Coupling” is a real film, too. And I don’t consider three of something to be a collection.
On August 5, 2010 at 6:28 pm KellyJ said...
*wincing a little* Jenny, I have to confess that the first time I heard of American Dreamer was here on your blog. I Netflixed it and loved it, but never would have seen it if you didn’t recommend it.
On August 5, 2010 at 6:35 pm Rebecca said...
I loved American dreamer, when I watched it in the 90′s. I watched it again a few years ago and was horrified at the 80′s clothes. I should try it again.
On August 5, 2010 at 6:54 pm AB said...
… I’d never even heard of American Dreamer either… I’ll blame it on my international status, and being only three in 1984 (and ignore the fact that many/most movies out here are American and that I like old movies).
Never collected unicorns though. My first thought on unicorn collections is Harmony, the unicorn collecting vampire. Though if I recall that collection turned out to be useful as well.
On August 5, 2010 at 7:02 pm Lola said...
And then there’s that whole Northern Exposure life she lived in Alaska. One kinda negates the other, yes?
On August 5, 2010 at 7:16 pm JulieB said...
Oh — 1984. College.
On August 6, 2010 at 1:03 am followingtheroad said...
Oh! I was five. There you go. That’s my excuse.
On August 6, 2010 at 12:06 pm JulieB said...
ouch!
On August 5, 2010 at 7:21 pm Jan P said...
Another Non-American Dreamer alum….going out to see if I can find and correct this immediately.
Collected only McCoy Pottery from a latent Martha Stewart phase…obviously home with the kids far too much (in early 90′s) caused this…but no uni’s
On August 5, 2010 at 9:11 pm Lani said...
THANK YOU to the VAST MAJORITY who have NEVER HEARD OF THIS FILM. Jeez. She made me feel like I was out of touch or something.
As for the unicorns, all I have to say is this: I know what Crusie’s getting for her birthday…
On August 5, 2010 at 9:33 pm Jenny said...
You write romance. You have no excuse.
As far as my birthday goes, I know how to regift. Also you already got me the orange toaster. I love my orange toaster.
It doesn’t have a unicorn on it.
On August 5, 2010 at 9:56 pm JulieB said...
not yet…
On August 6, 2010 at 12:33 pm Bonnie C said...
*snort* that was my first thought, too…
On August 6, 2010 at 3:18 pm Sierra said...
I’m having a sudden urge to send Lucy a packet of unicorn stickers to randomly stick around the house…
On August 5, 2010 at 9:37 pm Carol Anne said...
Never saw it, will try to soon. Promise.
On August 5, 2010 at 10:49 pm Rox said...
Oh, I’ve heard of it. And I’ve heard many a romance writer speak of it in swooning tones, but I don’t think I’ve seen it, either. Or if I’ve seen it, I’ve only seen part of it, like it was on TV and I missed a bunch. Or something.
If it came out in 1984, then I was in college and mostly seeing movies on campus through the various film society offerings because they were a) cheap and b) walking distance. ,
On August 5, 2010 at 10:52 pm Jessie said...
Time for a survey, regarding how many have never seen American Dreamer. I know I haven’t. I haven’t collected unicorns either so I guess I am only one. Although I loved Peter Beagle’s novel the Last Unicorn. Images from it have stayed with me for years if not decades.
On August 5, 2010 at 11:19 pm BJ said...
I haven’t seen the movie, and I didn’t collect unicorns. But I liked the Unicorn song (“A long time ago. . .”, Noah, Irish).
On August 6, 2010 at 12:11 am JulieB said...
The Irish Rovers. I had the 45. It was not part of the collection.
In my defense (me defensive??) I did not buy any of the unicorns. Nor the record, but I played that a lot. That and Bobby Sherman. I only had two after I stepped on “I’ll Never Fall In Love (Again).”
On August 5, 2010 at 11:40 pm Beki said...
In 1984 I was in junior high which explains my ignorance of American Dreamer AND the rather sparkly collection of unicorns I had. It was almost a requirement of the 80s for teen girls to love unicorns. I also had legwarmers to wear with my miniskirts and those horrible jelly shoes. It was quite a time for fashion.
On August 5, 2010 at 11:55 pm Ellen said...
I have a unicorn. An Avenging Unicorn. It kills mimes. Everyone should have one. Google it, you’ll see.
On August 6, 2010 at 7:23 am Betty Fokker said...
Greatness!
On August 5, 2010 at 11:58 pm Muria said...
I’m using the fact that I was in middle school at the time to excuse my ignorance of American Dreamer. Considering that my mom is a huge movie buff, I’m kind of surprised that I haven’t even HEARD of it.
Didn’t collect unicorns, but my best friend did. I collected dolls (less than 10 total, not counting Barbies), and stuffed animals. My sister had the market cornered on equines (stuffed, pictures, you name it), so I think I went for cats. And rabbits. I’m still a teensy bit melancholy from time to time that I missed out on the stuffed bunnies with noses that moved (they’re in the toy store window in _Adventures in Babysitting_, if anyone’s interested). And my mother managed to get me a herd of My Little Ponies…
Never mind. I’ll just let myself out. Between the Barbies and the My Little Ponies, I’m toast.
On August 6, 2010 at 12:13 am JulieB said...
Come sit on the ugly couch over here in the dark with us other collectors.
On August 6, 2010 at 12:21 am skye said...
Anyone ever heard of the Invisible Pink Unicorn? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invisible_Pink_Unicorn It’s my kind of unicorn.
I still have some of my dragons and almost all of my teddy bears. I liked unicorns, but toward the end of the 70s, everyone started collecting them. And I tend to prefer predatory animals than prey.
On August 6, 2010 at 12:31 am Sierra said...
I’m one of the many who haven’t seen it, but I’m Netflixing it tonight so that I can keep some Cruise cred.
I didn’t collect unicorns, although I watched and read The Last Unicorn many times. I do have a couple of figurines that were gifts when I was younger. My favorite of the two is a shaggy brown one with sad eyes. He’s the Eeyore of unicorns. I love fairy tales in general, so I also have a few frog princes scattered around.
I did collect bookmarks. Even had a month-long display of them at the local library one time, with all different sorts. I still have the box around here somewhere. Does that make me a dork?
On August 6, 2010 at 7:07 am Jenny said...
People of distinction and snark collect frog princes. You get points for that. Until you get more than half a dozen. Then you’re in unicorn territory again.
On August 6, 2010 at 10:49 am Sierra said...
Duly noted. Thank goodness I’ve only got two (or possibly three) right now.
On August 6, 2010 at 6:25 pm skye said...
Hmm. Then maybe I can make up for one of my two “bad” points with the fact that I have 3 or 4 frog prince items, including a big fat one for the garden.
On August 7, 2010 at 2:31 pm Carol Anne said...
Have a pair of Frog Prince bookends. Love them.
On August 6, 2010 at 1:13 am Clever Cherry aka Judy Long said...
Yay I get points today. Never collected unicorns. LOVE American Dreamer. I have seen it so many times. Tom Conti is so lovable in that movie. And his comedic timing is impeccable. I used to watch it when I wanted to feel good about the male species as a whole.
That and Made In Heaven and Bombay Cafe.
On August 6, 2010 at 1:21 am celine said...
I watched American Dreamer after I heard it referenced in one of your books (Charlie All Night, I think) and loved it. I had never heard of it before and I watch a lot of movies.
For the record, I collected Disney figurines as a kid and people still give them for birthdays and holidays. I can’t seem to be mean enough to point out that I haven’t collected them for years. Anyway, I think reformed collectors should get a pass.
On August 6, 2010 at 3:04 am Jill said...
But I do have a She-Ra…
So do I. In the attic. They belong to my daughters.
On August 6, 2010 at 3:32 am Julie said...
I totally get a pass because I was birthin’ babies when it came out. All I saw for ten years after was Sesame Street and my own breasts.
Julie B- did you have the Bobby Sherman record “Julie, Julie, Julie Do You Love Me” I got it, just to piss off my cousin, who’s name was NOT Julie!
(I sort of did collect unicorns, but not many, and it was way before anyone else, because I’m old, like Crusie.)
On August 6, 2010 at 7:09 am Jenny said...
VINTAGE, like Crusie.
Like fine wine, babe.
On August 7, 2010 at 3:43 am Julie said...
Right! Vintage. Damn, I keep forgetting. Must have been all that wine I used to drink.
On August 6, 2010 at 12:13 pm JulieB said...
Yes — not to piss off a cousin, but yes, because it had my name. My mom told me she thought Bobby Sherman had a wife hidden in a closet somewhere and that I was probably too young to understand. (According to Wikipedia, mom was right.)
On August 6, 2010 at 5:19 am doris in munich said...
To whoever mentioned Tom Conti’s daughter and her talking monkey-act (plus link): THANK YOU!! Lovely, lovely, lovely. Usually I’m easily creeped out by the talking puppets, but her monkey is just too cute and totally not cute – like a monkey version of Dr. House or someone with this very acerbic brand of wit.
On August 6, 2010 at 6:55 am Anette said...
I think I’ll start collecting unicorns.
On August 6, 2010 at 7:10 am Jenny said...
And if I told you not to put beans up your nose, would you do that, too.
SHEESH.
On August 6, 2010 at 7:37 am Carol-Ann said...
I’ve never heard of American Dreamer. I’m in the corner. Sorry. At least I never collected unicorns, it’s my saving grace!
On August 6, 2010 at 8:20 am Theresa said...
I never collected unicorns, but I was acquiring quite a few things with cats and kittens on them, although usually they were gifts rather than things I requested or bought myself. Well ok, there were the kitten posters on my walls. I guess I have to cop to that.
However, instead of barbies or baby dolls, I had a Wonder Woman doll when I was little. Surely that negates the kitten posters.
On August 6, 2010 at 11:23 am Jenny said...
A Wonder Woman doll is a thousand extra points.
I have three. Well, I had three. Then Light saw one and . . .
On August 6, 2010 at 8:57 am Flamingo Cherry said...
I saw American Dreamer.
(in little tiny letters cause I gots to run away now) I didn’t like it.
I didn’t collect unicorns, if that helps. (Flamingos, yes. Unicorns, no.)
On August 6, 2010 at 10:04 am Micki said...
(repost?) I wonder if we could get a group discount for American Dreamer if we all order from the same place. . . .
As for unicorns: zombies are getting so passe. I think unicorns could be The Monster for the twenty-teens. They have a horn and a thing for virgins, so the possibilities are definitely there . . . Dark Matter Unicorn is MINE, but I think there’s plenty of room in the unicorn field for all of us.
(-: Quick writers might want to take up something transitional, like Virgin Zombie vs. The Unicorn.
On August 6, 2010 at 11:24 am Jenny said...
Zombie Unicorns: I have my next book.
On August 6, 2010 at 11:34 pm Micki said...
Better you than me, on oh so many levels (-:.
On August 9, 2010 at 10:17 am Chris in NY said...
Some of the YA folks have been involved in a debate as to who would win in a zombies vs. unicorns conflict for while (I think it is Printz winner John Green and Maureen Johnson among others). So there is a built in audience for this title.
I have seen American Dreamer, on VHS no less ( yes I am old). Liked it and remember how I dunno, sweet? romantic? it was, but don’t remember any banter which is the highlight of a good rom com for me. Of course I had a one year old at the time I saw it so YMMV.
And it’s not a collection if OTHER PEOPLE give you unicorns because they remind them of you, right? right? anyone?
On August 6, 2010 at 12:15 pm JennyME said...
My high school mascot was a unicorn. It was humiliating.
On August 6, 2010 at 12:41 pm Bonnie C said...
The corner of shame is getting pretty crowed. Sorry, never even heard of American Dreamer. But in my defense, in 1984 I was high on the fumes of AquaRock trying to make my bangs stand four feet off my head to balance out the ziggurat perm. Also if it didn’t have John Cusak or Michael J Fox or Rob Lowe in it my radar would never have picked it up.
I had Wonder Woman Underoos.
On August 7, 2010 at 11:21 am Beki said...
Come sit next to me, Bonnie. I had the WW Underoos as well. I love it here.
On August 7, 2010 at 9:44 pm Bonnie C said...
Underwear that’s fun to wear.
Booyah.
On August 6, 2010 at 12:44 pm Rachel Hauck said...
LOL! Fun blog!
On August 6, 2010 at 12:46 pm misspiggydon'twannabe said...
In my first critique group we passed around a vhs copy of American Dreamer I loved it.
Last month I went to Norway. The Rick Steves guidebook recommended a restuarant in Bergen with a unicorn he described as “anatomically correct” – my friend said it was closed Sunday so we didn’t go. Later she admitted that the closed Sunday restuarant was the one listed below it.
Will I ever make it back to Bergen? This is the only time I’ve pined for a unicorn.
On August 7, 2010 at 12:41 pm JulieB said...
OK, even if you don’t collect unicorns, that is a tragic.
On August 6, 2010 at 1:09 pm Diane said...
Wait a minute. Didn’t Buffy kill a vampire once by staking it with the horn of a wooden carousel unicorn? Part of Evil Vampire Harmony’s unicorn collection?
On August 6, 2010 at 6:28 pm skye said...
If you look at the fact that unicorns have this long thing on their heads, and they want to find a virgin and lay their heads in the virgin’s lap, then the unicorn craze could be seen as millions of little girls claiming their sexuality.
And you could still incorporate the sexual element with the Zombie Unicorns, or the Vampire-Staking Unicorns, or the ….
On August 7, 2010 at 12:42 pm JulieB said...
I’m all for the zombie unicorn book.
On August 6, 2010 at 8:32 pm RSmith said...
All I can say is a “true Crusie fan” would have at least heard of American Dreamer. Come on people – it’s on her movie list on her web page.
On August 6, 2010 at 9:23 pm skye said...
This must be seen and noted:
http://chzb.gr/6qdOcA (it’s on EpicWinFTW.com. And it is relevant.)
On August 7, 2010 at 10:57 am Jo Walton said...
American Dreamer has been one of my favourite films for decades. It gets everything right. I got hold of the DVD when my son was about fourteen and in sulky-teen mode, but he watched it with me because I’d told him about the drinking them under the table scene. In the bit where she doesn’t go through passport control, he muttered “Yes!” Because that’s how good it is, and how real it is, and how it makes you care.
On August 7, 2010 at 12:31 pm Carrie said...
I’m also in the hoard of never-before-seen-it-actually-haven’t-heard-of-it folks. My apologies.
On August 7, 2010 at 12:38 pm Karen Templeton said...
In 1984 I gave birth to my third child in five years. That, and the rest of the 80′s (since another kid showed up in ’87), are a blur. Just got caught up with all the missed Woody Allens a couple of years ago.
So, no, have not seen American Dreamer, either. In my defense, at least I didn’t collect unicorns. Or the kids would have destroyed them if I had.
BUT AD sound like a perfect movie for my friend’s and my standing Monday Feast and Fluff nights. She’s recently (and painfully) divorced; I’m recently widowed — getting together once a week for dinner and whatever’s ABC’s up to keeps us from losing our minds. However, since the Bachelorette’s over and even we won’t sink to the level of Bachelor Pad (it’s all about standards, baby) we’re definitely in the market for fun DVDs.
Until Dancing With the Stars resumes, at least.
On August 7, 2010 at 7:27 pm Jan P said...
All I can say is next week Netflix will be going “what the ………, what’s with all these American Dreamer requests?”….
On August 7, 2010 at 10:05 pm Phyllis said...
http://tywkiwdbi.blogspot.com/2010/08/unicorn-real-one.html LOL!
On August 9, 2010 at 4:19 pm JulieB said...
Neat Phyllis — I didn’t have time to click on that yesterday.
On August 8, 2010 at 2:52 am toni said...
Here you go, Jenny:
Zombie Unicorn
I think this should be a sticker. Or a painting for Lani’s suitcase.
On August 8, 2010 at 11:32 am Jenny said...
ohmygod
On August 8, 2010 at 2:45 pm JulieB said...
Brilliant!
On August 9, 2010 at 9:24 am Micki said...
Dammit. Visual artists beat the writers to it. (Or is this the way art generally works? Visuals first, then it trickles down to writing, and finally makes it to movies, TV and advertising?)
On August 9, 2010 at 10:13 am Jenny said...
Nope. It can start anywhere and go anywhere. I think an idea like zombie unicorns usually hits several places at once because of the prevalence of zombies and unicorns and because of the tension of putting them together.