No Meeping
Jun12010
Living with two little girls means that there is much conversation in the upper registers. This is fine until somebody gets tired or cranky or put upon, and then the upper register becomes the stratosphere, a sound so high that it’s just under that sound only dogs can hear, an earsplitting whine of equal parts outrage and entitlement that would make you put a spike through your head except that the sound already did that for you.
Then one day, during a particularly bad whine, I said, “That sound reminds me of something.”
“Hell?” Lani said.
“No,” I said. “I think . . . it’s meeping.”
You know. Meeping:
“That’s it,” Lani said and the next time one of the kids hit the stratosphere, Lani and I meeped “Ode to Joy.” Surprisingly, the kid was not amused.
But eventually they gave in. One day Sweetness meeped, Lani said, “You’re meeping,” and Sweetness sighed and said, “Don’t bother,” and meeped “Ode to Joy” on her own. Now it’s part of our vocabulary:
Sweetess: That’s not fair! It’s NOT FAIR–. Oh. Wait. Sorry. I meeped.
Light: I asked Sweetness for the magnifying glass and she meeped.
Mom: You keep meeping, you’re going to bed now.
Sweetness: Can I come with you to the store, Aunt Jenny?
FAJ: No. I have to go three different places and you’ll get tired and meep.
Sweetness: I won’t meep.
FAJ: You’ll meep. We’ve been here before. You get bored and you meep.
Sweetness: I won’t MEEP.
FAJ: You’re meeping.
Sweetness: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH.
It’s surprisingly applicable in other areas. I watched the spokesperson for BP talk about how vast the ocean was compared to the relatively small the part of world his company had just destroyed (It’s the FREAKING GULF OF MEXICO, YOU IMMORAL CORPORATE JACKASS) so everybody should stop overreacting, and I thought, “That dickhead is meeping.” I watched that woman who tried to float the idea of trading chickens for medical care instead of actually reforming health care say she’d never meant people should trade chickens for medical care and it was so awful that people kept saying she had, and I thought, “Never meep on tape.” And then I saw Sarah Palin’s tweet about how unfair it was that a journalist moved in next door and thought, “Alaskan meep.” Really, once you look at the world at large, many of the most annoying people would be much less so if their parents had said early on, “Meep and you’re grounded.” I mean, Glenn Beck would be completely silent.
It’s also good for a self-reality-check. I was sitting on the bed today, almost paralyzed with fear about my looming deadline, not sure I’d be able to finish the book, not sure I’d be able to write the book at all, not sure I ever was a writer, not sure I deserved space or air . . . and then a quiet little voice inside said, “Deadline meep,” and I hummed a few bars of “Ode to Joy” and went back to work.
Meeping. Don’t do it.
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69 Comments to 'No Meeping'
On June 1, 2010 at 5:55 am Brussel Sprout said...
Yayyyy, meeping. Our cats have always meeped, usually when they’ve just had handfuls of little biscuits and think they should have more handfuls. When no.1 minion was about three, he was introduced to rule No. 1 – no whining/no meeping.
On June 1, 2010 at 7:17 am Carrie said...
My friends and I have used this concept for years. But we called it Beakering. ie. “Look they are being a Beaker” However, now I have the mental song of my cats meeping to Ode to Joy. Interesting
On June 1, 2010 at 8:34 am Gina Black said...
That was the rule at my house only we called it no whining. The kids could do almost anything but that. They could swear. They could tell me I was wrong (and I was wrong sometimes). Because of the no whining rule they have successfully grown into adulthood and I survived.
On June 1, 2010 at 8:46 am Emily said...
In our house, it’s called the Cookie Principle, as in: “It’s not FAIR! I WANT A COOKIE!!”… “Okay, are you all done? Now, did that get you a cookie? No? What a surprise!”
When our eldest was nearly three, he spent a good ten minutes with Daddy one day, practising yelling and grizzling, and then they came in to demonstrate to me how grizzling doesn’t get you a cookie. The Cookie Principle.
On June 1, 2010 at 9:21 am lee said...
We use Beaker to describe hairdo, where a partial Beaker indicates a stressed individual and a full Beaker either a person on the edge of hysteria or a veryvery bad case of bedhead. My husband kindly did not take of a picture of me and my first child regarding eachother immediately postpartum sporting matching full Beaker hairdos and (he says) identical expressions.
My kids use meeps to describe a herd of tiny children (now that they are huge), related, I think to the noises they make resembling a flock of baby chicks or ducks.
But this new usage is inspired, and will probably enter local lexicon.
On June 1, 2010 at 9:22 am McB said...
There are many meepers out there who were inflicted on the rest of the world because the parents themselves were meepers. They grow up to be those people who think HR is unfair for expecting them to arrive at work on time on a regular basis. True story.
On June 1, 2010 at 9:30 am Ami said...
Um, off topic, but I noticed the poll on the side of the page. What is twelve days of Liz, and why should we encourage you to do it or skip it?
On June 1, 2010 at 9:56 am Jenny said...
LOL. I put that up a week ago and thought, “How long will it take them to notice?” I should do stuff like that more often. Keep you on your toes. Good going, Ami.
The Twelve Days . . . wait, let me go see what I wrote in the Glossary In Progress:
“TWELVE DAYS OF: Live blogging any process, usually a part of writing a book but can also be cleaning an office or anything else we think of.”
I’m not sure you can live blog for twelve days, so that may be wrong. As I said, the Glossary is still a rough draft.
On June 1, 2010 at 9:44 am Dee said...
Yeah, my cat meeps. I keep telling my husband we should have named her Beaker. My kids whine. The difference is in the hitching, as in, “But wha-ha-ha-hy?” This is about when my eyeballs explode out the top of my head and someone gets sent somewhere — room, corner, wherever the closest place is that will keep me from killing them. Maybe it’s because I have mostly boys; they don’t hit the same registers. Usually.
On June 2, 2010 at 9:58 am Jackie said...
Mine did. But he is no longer a boy, but a young man. With a very deep voice in a small body. I applied time outs. As often a neccessary – and they were necessary. But at least he has the sense not to do it with me. Unfortunately, his dad let him get away with it. I just hope he realizes that life is better when you suck it up and get on with it.
On June 1, 2010 at 9:48 am Kate G said...
I live in a house full of meepers. Next time my husband meeps – he’s the worse?/worst? offender (no brains today) I’m going to meep the ode to joy even though it’s likely to make him meep louder!
On June 1, 2010 at 9:50 am Bethany said...
My boyfriend was looking over my shoulder this morning and said “oh, hey, it’s you!” at the video of Beeker. My vocal tic sounds somewhere between him and a baby panda hiccup. Not a whine, though, I swear. Although pretty headache inducing sometimes.
Also curious about 12 days of Liz. Would this be like the excerpts you posted during NaNoWriMo?
On June 1, 2010 at 9:59 am Jenny said...
It’s just what happens every day for twelve days while I’m doing anything that I think might make you point a finger and laugh or feel better about yourselves because of the mess I am (the twelve days of cleaning my office come to mind).
On June 1, 2010 at 9:52 am Bonnie C said...
LOL! Crusie, you always know how to start off the morning just right.:P We nicknamed my firstborn ‘Beaker’ when she was still under 3 mos-ish because when she cried she looked and sounded just like him. Now that she is nearly six (dear god) and understands the comparison, she is less than impressed.
If anyone’s in a Muppet mood (and really, who isn’t?), this’ll do your body good:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urDjvHybwvA
On June 4, 2010 at 2:18 pm AngelFire said...
Someone understands!!! I posted this to my facebook page yesterday! I found it looking up the meeping. It is in my head and won’t leave causing me to laugh out loud at strange times. MAMA!!!! Mama? LOL!
On June 1, 2010 at 9:56 am Mary Stella said...
Would it be overreacting for us to tie him naked to a crane and repeatedly dunk him in some of the oil spill? (That’s a purely hypothetical, philosophical pondering, btw.)
One of our office kittens just meeped his way down the hall. He has a particular tempo and timing for his meeps as he wanders around. He wanted someone, anyone, to throw him a small balled up piece of paper or ice cube, or otherwise invent some game and play. Yes, the office cats are spoiled by all of us.
On June 1, 2010 at 6:52 pm Ericka said...
overreacting would be setting fire to him after each dunking to burn off the petroleum.
On June 1, 2010 at 8:39 pm Kelly S said...
I’ve thought about the oil dunking and really, my hubby and I agreed it would be much more satisfying to pump some of the oil & water & dead fish mix into their homes, onto their lawns, definitely into and on all of their cars, and let’s hit their offices too. They should be in one of the places. All pets are to be removed beforehand.
Also, OMG! You have office kittens!! I am so jealous. How awesome!
On June 4, 2010 at 1:40 am toni said...
I wanted to back up an 18-wheeler and dump it on his house and then say, “Well, sure, it ruined your house, but in the overall perspective, your house is such a tiny percent, so quit your overreacting.” But then, I’d be arrested. (It still would be worth it.)
On June 1, 2010 at 10:48 am Renee said...
We always told our girls to stop being Wendy Whiners, but I think that phrase has lost it’s effect on them. From now on we may call them a Mindy Meeper, or Missy Meeper, we’ll have to pinpoint an appropriate first name. I love that Sweetness and Light are now “catching” themselves on their own meeping. Priceless!!
On June 2, 2010 at 7:44 am Kate Y. said...
Something about this makes me flinch. I think name-calling belittles the person in a way that nicknaming the _behaviour_ (“That’s meeping”) does not.
On June 1, 2010 at 10:55 am Anne said...
One day my daughter (them 4ish, 22 this Friday) was whining, so I whined back at her, she whined back, I whined back louder. I won the contest. No more whining. Giggles instead.
On June 1, 2010 at 11:12 am Diane (TT) said...
See, the thing about “12 days of” is that it’s 12 days of blogging every day! Don’t care what it’s about, it’ll be fun. Just so long as it doesn’t get in the way of finishing up Liz!
On June 1, 2010 at 11:48 am Jennifer said...
I’ve always liked that video. It’s one of the things I stream when I need a time-out. You know, the mommy time-out where you get a grip before going back to deal with the family (young or old)?
Another good one for that purpose is the classic Mom’s William Tell Overture. Not completely my parenting style, but makes me laugh and puts me in the right frame of mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0ZpuA8_YYk
On June 1, 2010 at 6:06 pm Deborah Blake said...
I always loved the Mom’s William Tell Overture! Cracks me up every time.
On June 1, 2010 at 12:09 pm hope101 said...
Carrie, that’s too funny because in our house the whine process is called “pulling a Beaker”. And now that I’ve actually typed that, it’s taken on a whole ‘nother meaning. Heh.
On June 1, 2010 at 12:32 pm Brussel Sprout said...
The summer I was 16 my mother swung me a job doing mindless clerical work at the company where she did market research. I developed a colossal crush on one of the graduate trainees (he was an Oz, he had a bit of that Hugh Jackman thing going on and he was really polite to the grunts). Inadvertently I let slip to my mother that this was the case, but there were several trainees and she couldn’t quite place him, and suggested another of the trainees. I looked at her in horror and said, “No way, not Beaker!!!!” She was never able to sit in a meeting with him after that without collapsing into giggles. And then she told her colleagues. Thank God my stint stuffing envelopes with interview packs was done. Mercifully he had moved on by the time I returned the following summer. So had the Oz.
On June 1, 2010 at 12:49 pm Anne said...
Brussel Sprout – you are a fave veg of mine!
Great story.
On June 1, 2010 at 1:13 pm Tawna Fenske said...
My husband is the moodier one in our match-up, and surprisingly, does not seem to appreciate it when I accuse him of being a drama queen. I’m going to start accusing him of meeping from now on. That seems much more manly.
Tawna
On June 1, 2010 at 1:55 pm marly said...
I came out of a salon once with a Beaker hairdo, except at the time I thought I looked like a cockatoo. It took two days to get the teasing out, eight weeks to grow out the sides, and I meeped the whole time. I think it was justifiable meeping, but I also thought homicide would be justifiable. I was in a state.
On June 1, 2010 at 2:01 pm DJ said...
My daughters sometimes like to walk up to me, push my nose with their index fingers, and say “Meep.”
That’s the kind of meeping I’ll take any day. More a Roadrunner, saucy mischief “meep,” than a whining unpleasant “meep.”
I read a newspaper article not long ago about a school that banned its students from making the “meep” sound.
On June 1, 2010 at 2:13 pm hollygee said...
Have you ever noticed that Matthew Perry, when he is doing an ahast reaction, looks like Beaker?
On June 1, 2010 at 2:48 pm Stephanie said...
It’s so great that so many people think the sound is Beaker. I don’t find Beaker annoying. Yet. However, if the whining doesn’t stop at our house I’m gonna invoke the meeping principle. Currently the ‘go ahead and whine until your head explodes’ doesn’t seem to be making much of a difference to the kidlets.
On June 1, 2010 at 3:03 pm McB said...
The difference is, Beaker usually has a pretty good reason for meeping. Poor guy.
On June 1, 2010 at 3:34 pm Jenny said...
Beaker is like Lyle: Born to be a bottom.
On June 1, 2010 at 4:16 pm London Mabel said...
When my friend and I saw Twilight he whispered to me that Jasper (the one still having trouble resisting humans) looked like Beaker. I giggled throughout the rest of the movie.
On June 3, 2010 at 12:35 pm Shiloh said...
I’m actually in the mood to watch it again now
On June 1, 2010 at 4:47 pm Clever Cherry aka Judy Long said...
I think the BP CEO really sounded meepy when he was saying “blah, blah, blah, I want this to be over more than anyone because I WANT MY LIFE BACK. blah blah blah.” He wants his life back, poor baby.
On June 1, 2010 at 4:49 pm Clever Cherry aka Judy Long said...
ps – I voted for the 12 days of Liz cause I love to hear about your book writing processes & any life things that go along with them, especially the funny ones. It does my heart good to know you have insecure moments; living an entire insecure life such as I do.
On June 1, 2010 at 5:02 pm robena grant said...
I’ve done 48 hours of meeping. ; ) My pooch is not doing well, having difficulty walking, and I went to a wedding and wore high heels and danced the Hora (Israeli dance done in a circle to Hava Nigila) and ran my ankle smack into a step leading up to the stage. Sigh. So the dog and I are both suffering, and meeping, only I think she’s much more stoic than I am, but that could be because she’s on some doggie pain med that’s like codeine and I’m on Tylenol. Meep.
On June 1, 2010 at 5:41 pm Jenny said...
She’ll share her meds. She loves you. Go for it.
On June 1, 2010 at 5:16 pm Glynis said...
Tracking back to the wonderful joy of the Muppets, I came across their version of “Habanera.” Talk about meeping! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXKUb5A1auM
On June 1, 2010 at 8:55 pm Carol Anne said...
I LOVE anything Muppets. I would turn up the volume on the TV and they would come running down the hallway in their yellow fuzzy pjs (the ones with the feet, made the best noise), dragging Kermit and shouting, “Muppets, Muppets.” It was the best family time ever. Habanera – makes me giggle anytime.
On June 1, 2010 at 5:43 pm CrankyOtter said...
Ok, this was perfect for me. I’m doing a little internal meeping that has me on the verge of throwing up, but I’m at work and need to run some training in about 20 minutes, so that would be ill advised. So to speak. Thing is, I had Lasik on friday and today’s the first day I’ve really used my middle/near vision, which is what I usually use about 80-90% of the time (yes, I read a lot, why do you ask?). So anything weird is freaking me out, insanely. “Will this be permanent? will I always see this? Is this normal? Can I do exercises to get around this? Will my eyes learn to work together better? How? What happen is this has really jacked up my near vision, which is the only vision I’m used to relying on?” etc…& so forth. Turns out the bright white shine in the lower edge of my left eye vision field this morning was just the reflection off the anti-inflamatory eye drop stuff that had dried on my lower eyelashes.
Will try to suck it up and stop meeping. Can’t watch youtube at work, but I think I know the video – if it’s Beaker and a few other muppets doing Ode to Joy, I watched that about a dozen times in a row sometime last year. Might be why they don’t let me watch youtube at work now, come to think of it.
On June 2, 2010 at 11:30 am Terrio said...
My boss just talked about this yesterday. She had the same problem, doc said she just had to retrain her eyes and it would get better. Took a couple months (I know, NOT what you want to hear) but it did go away and vision was normal again.
On June 2, 2010 at 2:33 pm CrankyOtter said...
Thanks. If there are any specific eye exercises your boss could recommend, please let me know. You can hop over to my blog (it should link up) and comment, if you’re feeling generous. I’m a big believer in eye exercises – I mean, even Michael Jordan had a coach and practiced basketball, right? Why would practicing better ways of using ones eyes not work? But I am trying to think things like “if you can still see damage in your eye, it’s not healed yet. let it heal first, then freak out”.
My boss just gave me a reassuring talk about how she can’t focus at the distance I was worried about. “That’s too close! You’re used to your broken eyes. It’ll be better when you read from further away, plus you’ll read faster when you can see the whole line/page at a glance” which I hadn’t thought of. Apparently 6″ from ones face is not the ideal focal distance for reading. Who knew? (And thanks for the reassurance. Things are definitely in flux right now and it’s freaky.)
On June 3, 2010 at 2:06 pm Terrio said...
Hopped over.
On June 1, 2010 at 6:09 pm Deborah Blake said...
All of life can be explained using the Muppets–it is a scientific fact. We should all get bumper stickers that say “Meeping” with a circle and a slash through it
My old boyfriend wasn’t a meeper. He was, however, and Eeyore. Raise your hands if you’ve got one of those!
On June 2, 2010 at 2:16 am Katie said...
I love love love this bumper sticker idea. In fact, how about: http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/QxRwKam80X6XAnxjyLDGwFU85INJoJvHNUAE-MOCaKU?feat=directlink?
Or maybe http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/Fo3oQL3N8vBENRxr2UVPuFU85INJoJvHNUAE-MOCaKU?feat=directlink?
I think this means I have too much time on my hands.
On June 2, 2010 at 8:49 pm Meredith B. said...
Oh, wow, if that wasn’t a copyright infringement you could make thousands of dollars off of those bumper stickers! I’d totally buy one. And, you know, stick it up in the office at work or something, since God forbid I ever put a sticker on my car.
On June 1, 2010 at 9:35 pm Shelley said...
Okay, that just became my new motto for the week.
On June 1, 2010 at 9:48 pm Polly said...
You’re totally right about Deadline Meep! My dissertation is due in less than two weeks and I was so close to the edge on Friday–definitely nearing hysteria/stomach knotting/no fun. I managed to talk myself down, and though I didn’t know to call it a deadline meep, that’s absolutely what it was. I calmed down and I’ve been chugging along since then, still stressed, but not quite at the edge of nutso.
On June 1, 2010 at 10:05 pm Skye said...
Deadline Meep: I love it! And I think it is so cool the girls can catch themselves at it. I think that “meeping” sounds much less judgmental than “whining.” Like, you aren’t a bad person (which “whiners” are — maybe it was just my family) … you are simply a “meeper” and you can control that!
yeah, the fun never ends in Crusie-Land!
On June 1, 2010 at 11:13 pm Micki said...
OMG, thank you for offering that as a cure for procrastination! I think it might actually work for me . . . .
BTW, loved the muppet vid. Are they doing new ones? They seem so much more advanced than the old Muppet Show DVD (which was pretty good, itself).
On June 2, 2010 at 12:46 am Sheri said...
I beg to differ the fact that boys can’t get into the upper registers like girls can. My godson, the youngest one of the three that I had for over a year and who now lives back home with his mom (thank god!), has begun whining whenever he gets in trouble or wants something. I think meeping is a wonderful way to describe the sound–he gets so screechy that I am surprised that my dogs don’t start howling in agony!! So I am going to show him this video the next time he is over and tell him to “stop his Meeping!!”! He will laugh but maybe he will get a clue like Sweetness and Light and catch himself whenever he gets meepy… I can always hope!!
On June 2, 2010 at 10:51 am followingtheroad said...
Oh- I completely agree. My nephew can meep like no other. He is the King Of Meeps.
On June 2, 2010 at 8:00 am Carol-Ann said...
CrankyOtter, don’t worry, it’s less than a week after Lasik, it keeps getting better! I had it done 4 years ago and the only side-effects I’ve noticed is that my up-close isn’t as close as it used to be (I can’t focus on my armpits when I’m shaving!), and I still get a bit of an aura around bright lights at night. Hopefully you’re as happy with your outcome as I’ve been.
I’d meep, but I’m too tired and I huuuuuurt. Huh, you can type-meep. Who knew?!
On June 2, 2010 at 10:54 pm Skye said...
Good eyedrops help too. Lasik makes your eyes drier, and if you are like me, your eyes might have been a bit dry before that. There are good presecription ones and good non-prescription ones that will make a huge difference. Ask your doc.
On June 2, 2010 at 10:50 am followingtheroad said...
Sometimes a good meep is all you’ve got.
Although- today I’m not meeping, I’m bleeping. ‘Cause it’s a fine line between meep and $%#$@#@ %&*% *( # %$## @#@$$%%! A very fine line. Alas- I’m the grownup around here. If I can tone it done to a meep, everyone will be grateful.
On June 2, 2010 at 2:31 pm Wendy aka Mischief said...
this is hysterical! I am so going to use it on my two boys! Thanks for the laugh and I have to say I agree 110 percent with you! LOL btw love the BP comments as well and the logos are AWESOME!!
On June 2, 2010 at 8:47 pm Meredith B. said...
Well, damn it. I meeped today. In front of my manager. And then I felt like I needed to apologize for it. To bad I didn’t read this post when it posted yesterday! :-p Tomorrow will be a better day, with less meeping.
On June 2, 2010 at 9:17 pm Louis said...
Love the Muppets.
I can Meep with them anytime
On June 3, 2010 at 1:55 am Jenyfer Matthews said...
I always loved the Muppets and I’d take them any day over a constant loop of Handy Manny and Hannah Montana…
On June 3, 2010 at 11:43 am inkgrrl said...
Stephen and I have been measuring our respective and collective freak out levels in Beakers for a while now, but hadn’t thought about the Meeping… I think we have a new tool. Thank you!
On June 3, 2010 at 12:42 pm Shiloh said...
Ha! While I was watching Ode to Joy, my youngest son (age 7) came in and said, “Stop that! That is sooo annoying!” I had to laugh, just wait my child, you ain’t seen nothing yet
Can’t wait to turn this against them, they should appreciate it because they both love Muppets. You have to pass the good stuff on. Especially with the crap kids are watching nowadays.
On June 3, 2010 at 11:34 pm Alyssa Goodnight said...
Oh how I wish the Muppets were still going strong–so much awesomeness!
On June 4, 2010 at 12:43 am Clever Cherry aka Judy Long said...
(I posted this once but it flew off in to cyber space somewhere)
Sad that Jim Henson who created the Muppets died at the young age of 53…
On July 28, 2011 at 2:19 am ruthie said...
Oh, see, now, this is totally not what I’ve always seen meeping as. I can’t remember where I saw it first, maybe lolcats, but it was more the reaction you get when one person in a roomful explodes into an angry rant. Of the 30 other people in the room, 10 are embarrassed, 12 are angry, too, 6 are afraid, 1 is too busy contemplating their navel to notice, and the 30th person is standing in the corner, observing it all, saying, “Meep.” Or, “sheesh,” or, “there he/she goes again,” or, “be prepared to duck,” or, “we’re all going to die,” etc.
It’s like a big “oops” about the hyperness of others without getting caught up in it. So, another lexicon, another few bucks. Is that too obscure?
On August 8, 2011 at 12:10 am Jenny said...
Not obscure at all.
But then I’ve been in the dark for the past month so what would I know.