My Friends Are Always There For Me
Apr292010
So I’m sitting here blowing my nose and coughing and feeling guilty because I stayed home from the Romantic Times conference and left Krissie and Lani to carry the can for me, and I e-mail Lani to see how things are going, and I get this:
I’m a lucky, lucky woman. Who does not have an STD. Just wanted you to know.
Addendum:
Lani graciously picked up my award for me, and I do mean graciously. This is what she said and it’s lovely, it really is. Right up to the end.
Loading ...
60 Comments to 'My Friends Are Always There For Me'
On April 29, 2010 at 1:44 pm Michelle from Texas said...
Oh, poor baby! I hope you feel better soon.
And you are a lucky woman. With friends like these…
On April 29, 2010 at 1:58 pm Ingrid said...
So they swanned off to the conference and left you alone. Or do you get to look after Sweetness and Light as well in your miserable state? You should be able to milk that for a long time.
On April 29, 2010 at 2:14 pm Terrio said...
Bwahahahahaha….
Ahem.
That’s not funny. You should adopt a bat while she’s gone.
On April 29, 2010 at 2:25 pm Jenny said...
EXCELLENT idea.
On April 29, 2010 at 5:20 pm Slave Driver said...
And if you can’r find a bat, get a parakeet and dye it black. Teach it to sit on your shoulder. Tell Lani you’ve trained it to attack on command. And talk; teach it to say, “Redrum…”
On April 29, 2010 at 11:15 pm Skye said...
LMAO! Best response ever!
On April 29, 2010 at 2:18 pm Slave Driver said...
At least they won’t forget about you…and now people have something interesting to talk about.
On April 29, 2010 at 2:22 pm Merry the CB said...
Whew! I’m glad you cleared that up.
The rumor I heard, from someone who might not resemble McB, was that you didn’t want people to know about your secret pregnancy.
Moi? Start totally spurious rumors and blame them on someone else?
On April 29, 2010 at 4:41 pm McB said...
Merry is now buried so deeply under so much trouble that a pack of St. Bernards won’t be able to dig her out again. I would punish her severely, but I know she’s sleep deprived. Plus she has a wolf to support.
On April 29, 2010 at 4:52 pm Merry the CB said...
Dear Jenny,
I am sorry that I fabricated a spurious rumor about you
I will be very, very, very, very, very, very good from now on.
Sniff
McB is an honorable woman and a good friend.
On April 29, 2010 at 7:10 pm Jenny said...
Of course you are.
McB, get your foot off her neck.
On April 29, 2010 at 2:26 pm Jenny said...
I’m sixty. If I were pregnant, it’d be on the cover of Scientific American.
On April 30, 2010 at 3:56 am colognegrrl said...
Not if you confessed the baby was from Elvis. You might make the National Enquirer. Reach a whole new target group.
On April 29, 2010 at 2:33 pm Terrio said...
Ooh, a secret baby plot.
On April 29, 2010 at 2:36 pm Louis said...
Wasn’t there something in the papers not long ago that a woman in her 60s gave birth?
Hang in there Ms. Jenny.
Keep the Kleenix handy.
On April 29, 2010 at 2:47 pm Jenny said...
Lani would like me to defend her honor.
I made the syphilis joke first. Here. At home.
Lani Diane Rich is an honorable woman and a good friend. Sigh.
On May 1, 2010 at 12:57 am Meredith B. said...
Yeah, but what makes the better story?
On April 29, 2010 at 2:58 pm inkgrrl said...
Aww… feel better, poor baby. How about a bunch of rubber bats you can hide around her room? Would that be too mean?
On April 29, 2010 at 3:06 pm Clever Cherry aka Judy Long said...
It’s possible you may have some ammo against Lani though. I think there is a plot afloat amongst Betty’s to get her drunk & have her tell the story of how she lost her virginity. Not sure what you could do with that but maybe something!
On April 29, 2010 at 4:10 pm Bethany said...
I’m very sad that I won’t be there.
I imagine that their stories must be in the collaboration contract between Krissie, Lani/Lucy, and Jenny though from Dogs& Goddesses.
Somehow in my head that’s somewhere between sorority initiation and business. Maybe I need more coffee.
On April 29, 2010 at 7:09 pm Jenny said...
She says the virginity story is boring. I’ve never asked. I have boundaries. Sometimes.
On April 30, 2010 at 2:27 am Lois said...
I am so sorry, but it is impossible to believe that statment when directly to the right is that adorable Mona with that smirk and twinkle in her eye…boundaries….yeah …right…
On May 1, 2010 at 3:30 pm Lora said...
i’m not one for boundaries but i also have zero interest in the virginity story. they aren’t interesting. if anything they are funny in the bad way and deeply disappointing…lol
On April 29, 2010 at 3:47 pm Tori said...
Hahaha!
I heard it was the Clap.
On April 29, 2010 at 3:48 pm Merry the CB said...
Is it just me, or does “The Clap” sound like it should be the name of a British Punk Rock group? Like “The Clash.”
On April 29, 2010 at 4:20 pm me said...
With their hit song, “Tetracycline Calling.”
On April 29, 2010 at 6:43 pm Sierra said...
To me, it sounds kinda like a dance, like “The Twist.”
Come one everyone, and do The Clap! Er…maybe not.
On April 30, 2010 at 8:42 am Tori said...
It totally sounds like the name of a British Punk Band.
On April 29, 2010 at 4:52 pm MDA said...
feel better… and my friends tell me I have SARS… we all have to die of something
On April 29, 2010 at 5:05 pm Shiloh said...
*giggling to herself* ….syphilis….
Poor baby! Have a tootsie pop to help with your cough and tell Krissie and Lani they owe you a chocolate cake when you get home, if you have live with sinful rumors, you might as well live sinfully : )
On April 29, 2010 at 5:35 pm Denisetwin said...
Hope you feel much better! Well at least you know people are asking about you, so you know you are missed, although with friends like that… <>
On April 29, 2010 at 5:48 pm Terrio said...
I just realized you didn’t want to put up a blank post because it would come up on your website homepage. So now this is showing up, bright and pretty, on your website homepage. Does that mean syphillis is better than nothing?
On April 29, 2010 at 7:11 pm Jenny said...
Well, you know, I’m an attention whore. And we pick up everything.
On April 29, 2010 at 7:10 pm Sheena said...
Poor Baby! Did Lani give you her flu, or is this a fresh disease? Let the dogs console you, and spend time on the deck looking at the river.
On April 29, 2010 at 7:14 pm Suz said...
Ah well, learn for next time
On April 29, 2010 at 7:15 pm Jenny said...
Lani picked up my award for me. See addendum to post.
On April 29, 2010 at 7:38 pm Michelle from Texas said...
What a beautiful speech. Seriously, friends like these are the best things EVER!! You can laugh together, cry on each other, and call each other at 4:00 am needing help. There isn’t enough money in the world better than this. I have two great friends like this, and they are also the ones I would trust with my kid, if need be.
But bats would be fun, also.
On April 29, 2010 at 9:51 pm robena grant said...
With friends like these who needs enemies? Just kidding. It’s all in fun and you’re lucky to have wonderful friends like K and L. Hope the dash of humor improved your health.
On April 29, 2010 at 10:15 pm Kate G said...
addendum. That sounds like that scary music – da da da dum. Yes I’m cracked. Well anyway the addendum was quite good for a laugh before bed. Much needed as I spent the early evening putting eye liner on 25 children age 9 to 15. Then I spent the later part of the evening watching them forget their lines. But there were a couple of good laughs there too… so it’s all good. Goodnight from the east coast.
On April 29, 2010 at 10:43 pm DownUnderGal said...
Now what do you want to go and plant the S word in Lani’s head for? I dont really know Lani that well but I gotta say, that was just asking for trouble
On April 29, 2010 at 11:24 pm Alyssa Goodnight said...
Congrats on the award! (so well-deserved!) Condolences on the other…
On April 29, 2010 at 11:40 pm CrankyOtter said...
If you have the horrible thing that starts as feeling run down then gives you hideously painful sore throat then gunks up your sinuses, get some antibiotics before it crawls into your tear ducts too. I’m finishing my 4th (that’s fourth!) round of antibiotics to knock it out and it was so bad a month ago I wound up on short term disability. I’ve been staggering out of it. So I hope you don’t have this germ, but I know too many people who have had it. Horrible stuff.
Sorry you missed getting your award, but it was good you had a snarky friend to pick it up for you.
On April 30, 2010 at 1:48 am Micki said...
Hah. I’ve had a couple of the colds that have been going around this year, and I’d rather have syphilis. At least there’s a quick cure for *that*.
(grumpy and terse, despite the upcoming five-day weekend (-:)
On April 30, 2010 at 8:44 am Tori said...
Congratulations on your award! You absolutely deserve it!
On April 30, 2010 at 8:45 am Tori said...
Oh and by deserve it, I mean the award, not the other.
On April 30, 2010 at 1:35 pm mcrowley41 said...
Well at least she didn’t say you stayed home because you and Bob couldn’t tear yourselves out of bed. The sex was just too good. LOL (TOTALLY A JOKE – DO NOT REACH FOR THE KNITTING NEEDLES)
On April 30, 2010 at 4:07 pm JulieB said...
I’m NOT going to make the next obvious comment. I cherish life.
On April 30, 2010 at 9:44 pm Merry the CB said...
Spuriouser and spuriouser…
On April 30, 2010 at 4:19 pm DJ said...
Well, that made me laugh out loud.
On April 30, 2010 at 5:10 pm Bonnie said...
Sorry about the syph
But if you want to do a cute bat, the best are the Littlest Pet Shop. They are cute, at Target and the girls will have something to play with after the joke. Everyone will be happy.
On May 1, 2010 at 3:32 pm Lora said...
it’s a friggin bat how can it be cute? those LPS toys has freakishly huge infantilized heads…cuteness on crack, mayhaps?
On April 30, 2010 at 6:39 pm K.L. said...
I think you should get glow-in-the-dark gel and paint a bat on Mona’s back. Won’t be noticed until the lights go out. HAHAHAHA. Ahem. Sorry.
On April 30, 2010 at 8:37 pm Skye said...
Jenny: aren’t you glad you have so many people to provide you with bat ideas to torment Lani? These are truly good friends!
On April 30, 2010 at 11:13 pm Becke Davis (Becke Martin) said...
I am DYING at that comment! Kicking myself that I missed L & K’s workshop – I hear Krissie was in rare form. I’m glad I got to see Lani – sad to miss Jenny and Krissie and even sadder you/they are sick – sending cherry vibes your way!
On May 1, 2010 at 1:16 am Clever Cherry aka Judy Long said...
Congratulations on your award. Is it true that Bob gave you syphilis?
On May 1, 2010 at 12:09 pm JulieB said...
Ohh, you Don’t value _your_ life…
On May 1, 2010 at 10:28 am mcrowley41 said...
I apologize profusely for starting this line. Will send a boat load of Dove Bars and Ben and Jerry’s as penance.
On May 2, 2010 at 4:13 pm Clever Cherry aka Judy Long said...
If you’re sending Dove Bars I’ll send lemonaide.
On May 1, 2010 at 10:53 pm Terrio said...
This makes my bat comment very tame by comparison. Y’all are brave.
On May 2, 2010 at 7:48 pm Mary Stella said...
In the interest of total accuracy, in the morning author chat, first Krissie said that you have boils, then Lani shared about the syphilis.
We missed you! Sorry that you are under the weather. Congratulations on the award!!