Making Up
Jul62009
I have to give a speech in Columbus on Wednesday and then several speeches/appearances in a couple of weeks at RWA National in DC. I’ve been avoiding speeches because they suck up so much time that I need to be writing–I’m so far behind on AKMG it isn’t funny, although I’ve made huge strides in figuring out the plot and I even have an ending I LIKE now–but this time Susanne Jaffe from Thurber House asked, and I can’t say no to Susanne. Also it’s Thurber House, where I used to volunteer. It’d be like saying no to Book & Co. But the bad thing about giving speeches is that people show up to see what you look like. Right now, I look like hell, which is okay because the dogs and the squirrels and the buzzards don’t care that I’ve put on even more weight, that my hair looks like Mad Madam Mim’s and that I don’t wear make-up. But generally speaking, you go into populated areas and stand up on a stage, people expect things like support garments and lipstick. Which means I have to sort through the wreck that is my bedroom/bathroom (I’m painting the walls, which at the moment have three different colors on them while I try to decide) and find the approximately two hundred bottles, jars, cans, and sticks of face paint that I have bought in desperation at other moments like this one and see if I can remember what to do with any of it.
The problem is, I’m really not a fan of make-up. I look at those stars-without-make-up pictures and invariably think they look better without. Of course the difference beween the with and without in those cases is also without great lighting and airbrushing since the with pictures are almost always studio shots and the without are candid snaps, but to me, most of withouts look like very attractive real people who look their ages. Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to make it as an explanation when I hit the stage. “I think I look better without make-up and also that you’ll relate to me better and also . . .” Sounds like an excuse to me.
Using those pictures as a guide, it’s pretty clear that the two most important things that make-up does is even out skin-tone and highlight eyes, keeping in mind that the airbrushing in the studio shots does that, too. I grew up during the sixties, so I have a natural inclination to Cleopatra eyes which I have to fight, but I can usually get a thin strip of liner on and manage to bring my lashes back from blonde without sticking the wand in my eye. It’s the foundation that gets me. I’ve tried them all, liquids, creams, powders, and they all feel the same way: icky. Basically, you’re putting stuff on your skin and if it’s my skin, it lies there on top of the permanent pool of oil and eventually slides off. I know there are products that will cut the oil so the make-up can sink in, but then I feel like my skin is suffocating. You know, guys don’t have to do this. They wash their faces and that’s it. Why us?
I know, I know, women are judged on their looks, men on their success, thus it has always been, thus it always shall be. Biology is destiny. Okay, FINE. I went to makeuptip.com and found out that:
Tip: To know “where to glow” bend over for 30 seconds, then slowly stand up. Where your cheeks are flushed is where you are meant to blush. Apply your blush there and it will be naturally rosy every time.
Setting aside the double meanings that made me snicker (I’m a cheap laugh), that makes my entire face beet red. Remember when poor Victorians used to pinch their cheeks for natural blush? I may go that route. If you see the speech and I keep pinching my own cheeks, that’s why.
There there are the eye tips:
3. For a sexy, smoky effect, trace the upper and lower lashes with a dark shadow then smudge with a blending brush. To optimize the look, this can also be done over eyeliner.
I’m going to be sixty in September. You know what I look like with dark shadow smudged around my eyes? An extra from Barfly.
I know, I know, quit bitching and just put the stuff on.
So I will suck it up and paint my face, but what I really want to know is, if we’re so damn evolved and liberated, why are we spending a fortune on goo that we don’t need? If we all went without make-up, wouldn’t the world get used to women without make-up and adapt? Or is make-up a good thing and I’m just too lazy to acknowledge it? I’m open to convincing. At least until I have to put the stuff on again.
Then, I’m gonna be bitter.
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97 Comments to 'Making Up'
On July 6, 2009 at 10:58 am Slave Driver said...
Instead of foundation try a tinted moisturizer. It works well on several levels.
And yeah, I feel for you, sister. I’ve got a 30 year High School reunion in person before. My people knew me when I was young, thin and had brown hair, not brown and silver. Oy!
On July 6, 2009 at 11:00 am Slave Driver said...
That should have read” I have a 30 year High School reunion. At least some of your people have never met you in person before”
On July 6, 2009 at 11:04 am Terrie said...
In my opinion (disclaimer), most women over 50 look somewhat … desperate … when they slather on makeup. Toner to cut the oil, Jenny. Moisturizer with retinol-A, light powder/base combination, wave the blusher in front of your face, forget the eyeliner, mascara, lipgloss and go. Lauren Hutton said it best….LESS is more.
On July 6, 2009 at 11:23 am McB said...
To keep the foundation from going on so heavy, moisten your fingertips (or the sponge if you insist on using one … I don’t because the foundation gets absorbed into the sponge which (a) is a waste, and (b) doesn’t do anything for my face) with either plain water or thin moisturizer before applying. Dust a little powder to absorb the oils, but go easy on it. I like a slightly lighter shade, for the center line from forehead to chin, than I use on the rest of my face.
A little liner at the outer corners of upper and lower lids, smudge slightly, and some mascara and you’re good to go. Shadow is tricky unless you have a very practiced hand. I pretty much stopped bothering a few years ago because my upper lids droop so much. Instead I use a highlight just under my brows.
On July 6, 2009 at 11:33 am Pat G. said...
Less isn’t more. LOOKING like less–that’s more. Jen, have you tried Bare Escentuals (sic), their line of Bare Minerals foundations and shadows and stuff? They last, look natural, aren’t horribly expensive, plus it’s sorta fun, after you get the knack, to use a different brush on every feature. You feel like an artist. I’m sold on doing eyeliner with brush and powder, no pencil or liquid–they always look fake. Tinted moisturizers are a good deal, too, though. Especially if you’re albacore-white, like me.
On July 6, 2009 at 2:51 pm Lynda the Guppy said...
I second this! I have oily skin and, especially in the summer, it’s a NIGHTMARE to keep my makeup where it belongs. Here’s what I use:
All year: Clinique moisturizing GEL (not Lotion…Gel). It’s much MUCH lighter than the lotion, and through the years I’ve found it to be the only moisturizer I can use every day without breaking out or mopping up the oil slick.
In the summer/hot days/days when I’m just feeling icky: The Clinique “Clarifying Lotion” which is really a clear liquid that’s a toner. That tends to clean things up and dry things out sufficiently.
For almost all my make, I use the Bare Minerals. I love their eyeshadows. But more importantly, I have never…NEVER found an eyeliner that would stay where it was put until this line. I use their eyeliner POWDER and apply it with a gentle hand and a stiff-edged brush. Then once all my make up is done (I don’t usually bother with blush) I use their Mineral Veil as a final dusting, and that helps keep my eye liner where it should be.
On July 6, 2009 at 8:23 pm Julia said...
Right on with the Bare Escentuals! It’s the only thing that looks good on the greasy bits AND the tissue-papery bits. I’m pale, with liberal red spottiness, and I love this stuff, and only this stuff — for foundation, blush & eye color. It’s really idiot proof, for this idiot, and makes me feel tied to some sort of cool ancient tradition of prettifying, like Cleopatra. As opposed to tied to the soul sucking — you’re ugly/cover it up — crap that modernity tries to sell us on.
A little Origins lipstick that has a nice clove-y smell, and a swipe of mascara, and that’s it. Best of luck sorting all of our helpful advice!
On July 7, 2009 at 11:47 am JulieB said...
I agree too. I think either bare essentials, or a tinted moisturizer. However, I have to say try these out. My mom has a moisturizer she loves but it makes my skin burn. I do like one, but I can’t remember which one. I think it’s Neutrogena, but a white and blue bottle.
I have a little color from the sun and have a bottle of loose powder henna I got in the 80’s (yes I know it should be thrown out) but it’s great for a natural blush.
Just keep it simple. And, I think Cleopatra eyes are back in…
On July 6, 2009 at 11:40 am GatorPerson said...
I used Merle Norman for decades. Now I use nothing. But I think it kept me from getting as may wrinkles as most have my age. I used some of their day cream ALL over my face, then a lightly tinted base my own oh-so-beautiful skin color so’s I could smear it all over the day cream without it getting thick. Then a few puffs of non-color powder to make sure my face didn’t feel slippery.
Ah, yes. The Cleopatra eyes. And the spiffy flip of the eyebrow pencil to have a nice curl at the end of the eye. Yep. I did that until I realized I had a raccoon look. Oh, and don’t forget the aqua eye shadow! And the eyelash curler. (How to pull out eyelashes in one easy step!)
On July 6, 2009 at 11:41 am K.L. said...
I’m with you Jenny. I wear make-up about two times a year. At my company holiday party, and at my husband’s. The rest of the time, it is just moisturiser. Make-up is for when I play “dress up” with high heels and fancy clothes. The rest of the time it is comfortable shoes without heels, no make-up and jeans. I’m easy that way.
On July 6, 2009 at 11:44 am Shana said...
As someone with oily skin, who hates wearing makeup, I have the following suggestions.
Wash your face well, use an astringent (I use Sea Breeze for sensitive skin) to close the pores, then use a foundation designed for oily skin. One that has sun protection does double duty. Use a very light layer, just enough to even your skin tone. Then use a translucent powder. If you need blush, use a tiny amount in your natural coloration.
Eye shadow should be subtle for daytime. A light color under the brow, with a darker color in the crease to make your eyes look deeper and a shade in between for the eyelids. I don’t do eyeliner because I don’t have the coordination, and I can manage without mascara most of the time because my lashes are dark.
The object is to make you look better, not to show off your makeup. If no one can tell you’re wearing makeup, that’s fine.
On July 6, 2009 at 11:46 am Sure thing said...
Yeah, I’m a cheap laugh too -snicker.
Makeup works best on skin that’s been prepped well. Since I limit myself to sunscreen – I don’t do makeup unless the occasion seriously calls for it.
On July 6, 2009 at 11:55 am McB said...
Toner – I like witch hazel better than the fancy brand astringents which contain too much alcohol. In a pinch I’ve even used hydrogen peroxide which works better than you might think.
On July 6, 2009 at 12:16 pm misspiggy don'twannabe said...
Once you hit 60, your lips start to fade away. They get small and the lipstick tube is too wide for them. I can see me drawing larger than life lips some day soon.
I sent may sister a birthday card this year that said “You’re not really old until you start applying lipstick outside your lips” – she thought it was funny but it’s really prohphetic.
Doesn’t that cheer you up? Not.
On July 6, 2009 at 12:25 pm AgTigress said...
Those celebrities without make-up do illustrate the fact that brown skin confers a natural advantage compared with the pale-and-blotchy!
I used to love doing the full 60s make-up, up to and including false eye-lashes for special occasions. I never used blusher (I still call it ‘rouge’) because in the early 60s, the look was very pale, with pale lipstick as well, and those panda eyes. Lovely!
Being older than Jenny, I pretty well gave up make-up a few years ago, except for eyebrow-pencil. One of the penalties of female old age is that the hair from the eyebrows apparently migrates to one’s upper lip. So one has to pencil in the eyebrows as well as plucking the moustache…
On July 7, 2009 at 9:39 am Rox said...
When does this eyebrow thinning start? Because lately my thick, dark eyebrows have started getting BUSHY. Like my Grandpa’s.
On July 8, 2009 at 6:30 am Jackie said...
I think it’s an either/oor proposition. I never had much eyebrow to start with, now there’re going white….
On July 6, 2009 at 12:36 pm Kelly said...
I use makeup for events where I think my picture may be taken, if then. It takes too much time and bother to put it on and my hubby tells me I’m beautiful without it. (He may be lying, but I’m okay with that.) Frankly, I’m too lazy and rather sleep for an extra 5 min.
Also, I’ve seen you in person and skip the makeup. You’re beautiful as you are. Besides, while your audience is interested in knowing how you look, we kind of do already from the book jackets. I think we’re attending more to hear your thoughts and enjoy a shared laugh (over your witty comments, not your looks – I think I may be digging a hole here…).
On July 7, 2009 at 12:45 am London Mabel said...
Ya–ignore all this makeup advice. Some women enjoy wearing it, which is fine, but I am completely against the idea that it has to be a Standard. Especially for authors! You’re not successful because you put on makeup when you give speeches, so I don’t think you’ll be less successful if you skip it.
On July 6, 2009 at 1:09 pm Kieran said...
Jenny, you are mesmerizing when you teach, either with or without makeup.
I’m attending the funeral tomorrow of a much-beloved English teacher who taught Shakespeare at Lenoir-Rhyne College for 40 years. She’s my husband’s aunt. She was a tiny woman, not even five feet tall, with a sparkling personality and a generous heart. She also never wore makeup. I have no doubt she’ll have so many people packed into that church tomorrow, it will overflow.
My point being, be who you are. To heck with makeup. You’re almost 60–live the way YOU want to, and because you are a riveting personality who is also someone with a genuine desire to be of service to others you not only won’t offend anyone (not offending is, after all, why we ascribe to niceties like makeup and proper conversation, isn’t it?) but we’ll all want to be where you are–someone who knows who she is and loves who she is.
You’ve earned your pass. Use it. Do not go gently anywhere anymore if you don’t want to!!! And by doing so, you’ll give the rest of us women the courage to embrace every new decade and to believe our minds and hearts are more important than the size of our waists.
On July 6, 2009 at 1:40 pm Diane (TT) said...
I wear a little makeup every day, and not really much more for any occasion. I have fair skin and hair, so eyeliner, eyebrow pencil and mascara are necessary for me to define my face, not just have a pale blur. And I brush on a little blush and powder, so it’s not a shiny pale blur. I think there was a period of a year or two in which I tried foundation and I always hated it.
Good luck! Kelly’s right, though – it’s not about how you make yourself up. There’s so much more to you than that. And you’ve got pretty clothes to wear, right? In a pile somewhere? Because makeup is boring, but clothes are fun.
On July 6, 2009 at 1:42 pm Eva said...
Use Bare Minerals and the Bare Mineral’s Veil. I swear I hate foundation with the burning hate reserrved for skank ex-boyfriends and puppy kickers, but Bare Mineral’s is the Bees Knees. It feels like nothing is on your face and it makes you glow. Just brush it on. Then a little mascara and you’re done, I swear to dog.
On July 6, 2009 at 1:43 pm Naked under my clothes said...
What Kieran said. Skip the support garments, too, unless you need fodder for a funny story.
On July 6, 2009 at 2:06 pm Rox said...
Do something dramatic with your hair. No one will notice if you’re wearing makeup (or a bra, for that matter).
On July 6, 2009 at 2:14 pm hollygee said...
Since becoming a near hermit in Marin County, I rarely put on any make up, except sometimes drawing in the outer halves of my eyebrows that seem to more and more disappear. Anytime I put on more than that, I feel like I’ve coated my face in plaster of paris. And I can’t wear mascara any more, I start tearing as the fumes get close to my eyes and then continue until it is all washed off. For this I paid $14 a tube at Clinique?
On July 6, 2009 at 3:17 pm Chelle said...
Okay, I’m a girly girl who’s tried it all (makeup, get your mind out of the gutter!) and I second the Bare Minerals. It’s THE BEST and it’s EASY. If you can paint a freaking suitcase and freaking furniture, you can do this. I don’t think they’ve opened Nordstrom in Cincy, but if they have, Nordy’s will have it and they’ll show you how to use it and not be annoying while they’re doing it. It’s powder that goes on with a quick swirl of a brush, which they give you. It doesn’t sink into the creases we all have, and it doesn’t run. Even here in the Ohio Valley.
Also, go to the Bobbie Brown counter. Women of a certain age are her specialty. The ladies are usually older than those at the Mac counter and will give you a five minute face you really can do it five minutes. The good thing is that she believes you shouldn’t look like you have make-up on. You two should get along fine, lol. If I were going to National I’d come do it for you!
But seriously, if you can paint the pig, you can do eyeliner and blush. Pinkie Swear.
On July 6, 2009 at 3:25 pm Victoria said...
I say only do what you’re comfortable with. If that means no makup then no makeup. If you feel you have to put something on your face, stick to moistureizer, eye liner, lip gloss and powder to combat the oily glow.
The only females I see with makeup on every day are people in an image-related business or have personal image issues. As a result, I know more women who don’t wear makup than ones that do.
On July 6, 2009 at 3:42 pm Mariah said...
Consider looking at makeup as an art form. If you look at it from the point of view of color and shadow, maybe the burden of it might become something you actually enjoy (on occasion, anyway).
If that doesn’t speak to you, you can also chuck the whole makeup thing out the window. Makeup is optional. Will your audience really run screaming from the room because you skipped the lipstick?
On July 6, 2009 at 3:49 pm Carol said...
I second (third? seventh?) the Bare Minerals recommendation! Great make-up that doesn’t feel like you’re wearing any – it *cracks* me up when people tell me how great I look “without any make-up” and I’m wearing my Bare Minerals. A quick glance at the website shows that Cincy has 2 Sephora stores – they sell it there and their help will show you how to make it work for you.
On July 6, 2009 at 3:56 pm Chelle said...
Oh yeah, I forgot about Sephora! You can even buy an all in one box kit type thingy. Easy peasy.
On July 6, 2009 at 4:10 pm jessie said...
My vote is do eyes, maybe put a little blush and lip stick on and that’s it. If your oily skin is like mine, if you put anything on it, you have zits for the next 2 weeks (yes, even at 61, which I am). If you don’t care how you look in photographs, do nothing at all. But unless someone does a real close up all the toners, moisturizers, and skin gunk don’t really show. Eyeliner, lipstick and blush do.
And you have oily skin which by itself keeps you from getting as many wrinkles as most people and looking as old as God. Ditto for the extra weight. It plumps up the skin.
You want to feel comfortable with yourself. Most important wear something that you like how it looks on you and doesn’t bind and shoes that won’t kill your feet if you have to stand for 45 minutes to an hour.
Although I have to say that I have never heard anyone who has heard you speak, talk about what you wore or how you looked. It was all about what you had to say. And frankly once you are past 45, no matter how fit you are or how beautiful, only your best friends notice.
On July 6, 2009 at 4:20 pm Lily Blues said...
Have you tried tinted moisturizer? Like you, I really don’t like the feel of foundation. But in a pinch, tinted moisturizer works for me.
On July 6, 2009 at 5:33 pm GatorPerson said...
OTOH, go nekkid, wear a Phyllis Diller wig, and they won’t notice if you have makeup on or not.
On July 6, 2009 at 6:02 pm robena grant said...
I’m older than you, Jenny, and the last few years haven’t been kind and that also worries me pre-Nationals. But then again, you’re famous and I can just blend into the background or hide in a corner, so I can see how you’d worry about being under the spotlight. But don’t. Honestly if I had your intelligence and wit I’d stand up there and own the world. Remember everyone who comes to your lecture/speech, whatever, is coming to hear you. They want to know you, know what you think and feel, and they want to listen to whatever interesting spin you can put on a topic. Nobody is really looking at you, because they’re in awe of what you’re saying.
It’s 111 degrees in the Cali desert today. Make-up? I haven’t worn it for years but even out here I have friends who don’t walk their dog without full make-up on, and rhinestones on everything, this is definitely a bling-bling place. Four years ago (before a National conference) I bought a whole kit of Benefit make up. Ha ha. I still have it and only a few swipes have been used and I can’t recall what I’m supposed to do with half of it. I try not to do eyeliner anymore, (because of the fine wrinkles it doesn’t look good, and I think it makes me look like I’m trying too hard. I think the older you get the softer the touch needed.) I do moisturizer, brows, shadow, tiny bit of blush, and lipstick. That’s it, and because I now swim almost every day I have freckles. Lots of them. Maybe I should spring for some of Bare Minerals.
On July 6, 2009 at 6:09 pm Anne B. said...
Despite the fact that women can be notoriously catty, I don’t think anyone attending an event to listen to you is going to give a rodent’s posterior how you look. Personally, I look forward to seeing and hearing you in person because, teenage-ish as it sounds, you’re like a rock star to avid readers and aspiring writers. We all know, it’s the brains that make you beautiful.
On July 6, 2009 at 6:14 pm Donna said...
If some of those 200 bottles, jars, cans, and sticks are eye make-up please get rid of them. It would look better to not wear make-up than to have swollen red eyes from an infection caused by old eye make-up!
I agree with the Bare Minerals, or one of the other similar brands if you absolutely feel like you have to wear make-up.
On July 12, 2009 at 3:18 am PG said...
Seconded re: the dangers of old makeup. Toss everything that has been opened, is supposed to go on your face and is more than two years old. If that means you’re left with nothing, that’s a sign that either you shouldn’t worry about wearing makeup, or that you should get a free makeover at a Clinique counter and buy a few items (most important would be whatever she uses on your lips, eyebrows and lashes).
On July 6, 2009 at 6:58 pm Brooke said...
Screw makeup. A tan will even out your skin-tone, and then you just need mascara. And lipstick if you really want to go crazy.
Plus, charisma does a lot that makeup can’t, and you’ve got charisma for days. So go get a tan, buy some Spanx and focus on enjoying the summer.
xoxo, B.
On July 8, 2009 at 6:40 am Jackie said...
Brooke – on the whole, absolutely right, but I don’t think Jenny tans….
On July 6, 2009 at 7:48 pm Hannah said...
I can’t help you faoundation, I’ve never found one that worked, but for your eyes, just have your eye lashes dyed, and then curl them. Looks great and you can cry and sweat and not worry
On July 6, 2009 at 7:56 pm Jolly said...
Crafts? __Again?__
On July 6, 2009 at 8:21 pm Susan said...
I can’t be bothered with makeup on a daily basis, especially since my workday starts at 7:30am. I’d rather have the extra sleep. HOWEVER, I feel that if I’m headed somewhere with a cool outfit, cool shoes, and awesome jewelry, makeup in the finishing touch that brings it together, gives it the final polish if you will.
Bare Minerals is definitely my favourite, especially because I also don’t like the feel of too much foundation. Their eye, cheek and lip products are also fab. I recently won a bunch of their products, and the brushes are fab, too.
Sephoria is great. There are actually Bare Minerals stores in many locations now, too, and you can just go play!
The important thing in my opinion is to be comfortable and not be self conscious about either no makeup or too much. Own it!
On July 6, 2009 at 8:49 pm patmcaudel said...
well, i hit 60 on the 16th, and can’t help it, i love make up. since the cancer crud, i dont leave home all that much, but i still like to play sometimes, i love the bare minerals…other companies like revlon and covergirl are now making their version, i like the covergirl… i do use eyeshadow in tones of green cause i have to say i love my green eyes and no matter what i wear, i brush on green in some shade…or grey. and i tried the mascara that adds stuff to your own lashes and you have falsies on your lashes…works great. just don’t forget and rub your eyes like i do. i also add a touch of light cream under the eyebrow and for under the eyelid, i get a sponge thingie that comes in the makeup and run a very fine line of the same color eyeshadow about halfway to the end of the eye, and do the same with a touch of liquid eyeliner.
honest it’s not awful. i don’t need blush, the cancer i have causes flushing on my cheeks, i sometimes carry green powder to offset…..
and i think you should wear your red thing… you know, that wonderful red thing you bought in New York a while back? wear it….you will be stunning!
On July 8, 2009 at 5:49 pm patmcaudel said...
oh, duh, running a skinny line of color under the eye lid is for the lower lashes….and it is under the lashes, not near the eye it’s self… sorry, can’t believe i did that
On July 6, 2009 at 10:53 pm Amy said...
I’m going to have to also recommend Bare Minerals. The foundation is great. I also have a combo greasy and dry face, plus I am in Iraq, home of 130+ degree days, so the oil pours off. But, using boscia mosturizer (it has a special power in the lotion that sucks up oil and grease), and then the powder (bare minerals foundation) on top, and I’m good to go. During the day, if I decide to care, refreshening with the mineral veil makes it look like you’ve just redone your make up. And what’s really great is it is idiot proof which is good since I never learned how to do makeup. If you’re looking for a good mascara that will not run either, I use LORAC. They also make it in brown which seems more natural than black to me since I am one of those people that sunburns walking to the car. It will not run. It is the only one that will withstand the heat over here. You have to use a remover to take it off. It will last for days otherwise. Urban Decay makes a good liner and they also make a base that will help keep your eyeshadow on your lids and not sliding down your face, but I seldom bother with that. If you’re a gloss person, Stila has the best glosses, plus they have some great stains that will last all day. I use a pomagrant (I wish I could spell!) stain and then just reapply gloss or chapstick throughout the day. I get my stuff at Sephora too, in GA, the stores can be found in JC Penneys, but they are also on-line at sephora.com. I avoid blush because I never can figure it out, but Clinique makes a neat bronzer that adds a hint of the sun without making my face look like a tomato, which is a bonus.
On July 6, 2009 at 11:43 pm Merry the CB said...
Pish tush forsooth, woman!
You are an author! Making up things, including faces, is second nature!
And somebody please stop me Ican’tstopusingexclamationpointsarrrrgh!!!!!
On July 7, 2009 at 12:10 am Micki said...
(-: I love reading this blog — great blogger, great readers. And I will have to try the Bare Minerals when I get back.
I have to add my vote to the “don’t wear make-up if you don’t want it.” But, I realize this is a special occasion, so if you do want it, you might consider getting a professional to do it — like a make-up counter, or one of those glamour shot thingies. IME, they cake on the crap, but you might be able to find someone who doesn’t apply the make-up with a backhoe.
And, some people might find this a depressing thought, but I find it somewhat comforting. You are probably as good looking as you are going to be for the rest of your life. Ten years later, you’ll look back and say, “Damn, I looked good!” So, why not skip the middle-years, and just look in your mirror and see the good stuff now? Enjoy what you’ve got, make the best of it, and don’t look back!
On July 7, 2009 at 12:48 am London Mabel said...
Re your last paragraph–not a depressing thought at all, and I wholeheartedly agree. Why are we always looking backwards with envy, when in another 10 years I’ll look at Me Now and think: Ooh I was so thin and young!
I’m gonna call myself Thin and Young now!
On July 7, 2009 at 10:42 am Danielle said...
I agree with Micki! Take the stress away and have a professional do it. Why not go all out and have someone style your hair as well. I always feel better about being me after I’ve left the hairdresser!
On July 7, 2009 at 2:59 am Strop said...
Yes to the tinted moisturiser idea, I use it all the time.
However, I am so pale (and my skin so dry) that I put a light moisturiser, preferably Eucerin, on first so the tint smooths on better.
That cheek and lip tint that Benefit does is great for highlighting tiny bits, followed by loose translucent face powder with the excess whisked off.
Tiny bit of eyeliner and I would rather have my lashes tinted than use mascara, as I am incapable of applying the stuff without it clumping.
I still look pale, but at least my skin looks smooth. It also helps if I avoid moisturisers for mature skin as they bring me out in red blotches.
On July 7, 2009 at 3:34 am Kira said...
I used to hate foundation until I had an occasion that I needed to look really good at, and invested the time to find the right shade and texture. For me it was Clarins wet/dry compact. It’s more like a powder, but you can’t see it and can’t feel it. Just evens out the skin tone. The way to choose foundation is to draw a line from just above your chin past your jawline and look at it in daylight (walk out of the store). When it matches your skin, you’ll see it, immediately.
I second the sentiment that as an artist, you should be able to enjoy what you can do with a bit of shading. Just because it’s your own face, doesn’t make it a less worthy canvas!
The right bra can totally change a woman’s overall appearance. Ever see Tim Gunn’s show?
On July 7, 2009 at 7:31 am Lynn said...
Another BE aficionado chiming in; love the stuff! I’ve had a love affair with make-up – and earrings – since I was allowed to wear it and have used so many different kinds (those high school pictures will come back to haunt me). The BE is fabulous because it’s not heavy and doesn’t get slimy. Headed to Chicago for the ALA conference this week and have purse sized BE to drag along. The BE tinted mineral veil is a summer lifesaver (QVC shopaholic, they have videos too).
But, it’s a choice. Wear what you want, as much as you want, whenever you want.
On July 7, 2009 at 8:25 am Elisabeth Crisp said...
“But generally speaking, you go into populated areas and stand up on a stage, people expect things like support garments and lipstick.”
I don’t have any makeup tips, but this line sounds like the basis for a terrific speech. It made me laugh out loud.
On July 7, 2009 at 10:53 am McB said...
I actually like the way I look now, edging closer to 50, more than how I looked in my 20s. Yeah, the jawline was better defined and the pores more discreet; but bland and uninteresting, not a face anyone took seriously. Now I’ve got crinkles and my cheeks are losing the battle with gravity and I get more second looks from men than I did 20 years ago.
I wear make up for me: because I want my outside to look as good as I feel inside.
On July 7, 2009 at 12:04 pm Shangrila said...
Oy-I used to wear makeup religiously, although I also have to curb my naturally heavy hand when it comes to applying eye-liner. (I grew up in the theater and have never really been able to convince myself that my eyes should not be visible from 40 feet away-lol!) After my last baby nearly three years ago, I haven’t worn ANYTHING (qualifier: on my face.) Freeing? Yes. Also bad for my skin. (I used foundation with sunscreen, and now my skin feels course and looks worse.) Maybe using foundation with sunscreen would make it less painful when you have to wear make-up(because you’d be doing something for your over-all health?) Just remember, if the rest of your devotees are anything like me, they’re going to bask in your presence and enjoy themselves.
P.S. I’ve picked the paint for my bathroom, and hearing that you’re in the same boat may have actually persuaded me to apply a coat sometime this century!
On July 7, 2009 at 12:26 pm Lou said...
McB – you get all those looks because of the confidence you exude – very attractive.
Jenny – wear makeup or don’t, it doesn’t matter. IMO, what matters is standing tall, being confident in yourself, and smiling at the world as you walk along. No one will care if you have makeup on or not – they will just say, “Look at that fabulous woman, she has the world on a string.”
Again, IMO, the only things that can make a woman look bad or dowdy are a ducked head (looking at the ground instead of the world), bad posture, slumped shoulders, and an insecure and negative outlook. Even stars in full makeup look bad when they look like that (I can think of a few examples).
So Jenny, deep breath, shoulders back, look up and out – and by all means get a really good bra!!
On July 7, 2009 at 2:05 pm Diane (TT) said...
Lou is right – posture is key. And if you don’t have comfortable foundation garments, you should totally get some. I’m not a small woman, so I’m more comfortable with support than not, but they don’t have to be uncomfortable if you get nice fabric and something that fits right. My last fitting was at a European Body Works house party – really plain functional constructions, but they look awesome under clothes. And there are some in stores that are pretty, comfortable and supportive (although a lot of them are none of these!). I think it’s GG that says that some enormous percentage of American women are wearing the wrong size, because they have a number fixed in their head, but their bodies have changed.
On July 7, 2009 at 3:45 pm Naked under my clothes said...
I have to say that the Cherries have been amazing for my knowledge of things female.
Thanks to a long, drawn-out discussion in the comments of HWSW a couple of years ago, I demanded a bra fitting and am a happier woman for it. And now, I can see that I’m going to have to check out these mineral makeups. I tried one years ago and hated the applicator. But I’m open-minded. I’ll give it a whirl again.
All I can say is, where were you guys when I was in middle school hell? Though I sure appreciate you now.
On July 7, 2009 at 6:07 pm lover of wine and novels said...
Jenny, I have seen and heard you read for Thurber (from _Bet Me_ ) several years ago. I even brought my husband along as “punishment” for some bad behavior, but it backfired. He Loved you!! You are witty and hilarious and charming and that trumps Max Factor anytime. Wear the clothes and makeup that make you feel your best and most confident — see I added “most confident” so you don’t show up in pjs and bunny slippers.
I’m disappointed I’ll miss you tomorrow — Good Luck!!
On July 7, 2009 at 7:21 pm Micki said...
Can I complain about the poll? It’s pretty simplistic for such a complicated issue. I think of make-up as war paint, and armor, and it also makes me feel more beautiful and confident (when it’s done right). But, I only put it on when I need to feel like a gorgeous Amazon warrior.
(-: To tell the truth, I have a great body image, which is why I don’t take as good of care of my body as I should. My scale tells me one thing (like 117 kg.), but my inner soul is 125 pounds and drop-dead gorgeous most days.
Now that I’m getting older and just can’t support this weight, I wish I had a little more angst about it. Constructive angst, not the kind where you sit around and stew, then feed the angst with some chocolate and ice cream bars.
On the whole, though, I’m happy that I’m happy, and if other people can’t be satisfied with me being Shower-Fresh and Decently Clothed, well, I tend to think such people have small and petty minds, and I shake my head in sadness at the smallness of their world. LOL! I’m such a variety snob (-:!
(And naturally, if someone wants to go out in full-makeup every day, and still has time to be a nice person with interesting conversation, I am in awe. Go for it, you super-women!)
On July 7, 2009 at 9:15 pm Jenny said...
Sorry about the poll, Micki. I originally thought that this would be discussion about rebelling against make-up, so that’s how I wrote the poll. (In five mintues.) But as usual you all turned it into something much more interesting.
So first, thank you for the very kind words in here.
Second, because of Rox I looked under the sink to see what hair color I had on hand last night, and I am now sporting Amber Shimmer, which is also my new porn name. So far, nobody has pointed or snickered, so Rox gets to live.
Third, I ruined the day of the poor woman at the Bare Escentuals (or however you spell that) store becuase I was running late, so I dashed in and said, “Just give me the basic box,” and she said, “But I have to match your skin color,” and I said, “I have to be in Columbus by six, GUESS,” and it caused her real psychic pain. Plus God knows if I have the right color. And now I have to watch the DVD. You didn’t tell me there was a DVD. But I have the make-up.
Fourth, I forgot to mention the reason I needed the make-up. Thurber House, yes, but I’m also doing TV. I have done TV without make-up. Trust me, that’s never good.
I would speak more, especially since your comments have so much STUFF in them, but I have to watch this damn DVD. I blame you all.
Love, Amber S.
On July 7, 2009 at 9:43 pm Hoosier Cherry said...
Swirl… Tap… Buff (in circles)
Best wishes!
On July 7, 2009 at 11:10 pm Micki said...
Oh. TV. High Definition. My theory is that eventually they will replace real people with cute little anime characters (-:. But I’m sure you’ll be fine.
I will have to google Thurber House. If it’s *the* James Thurber House, I’m swooning in excitement. Knock ‘em out, Miss S!
On July 9, 2009 at 12:06 am Meredith B. said...
Yes, it was /the/ James Thurber house– or at least one of them. I had to dig out my childhood copy of /Many Moons/ to get in the mood!
On July 9, 2009 at 3:55 am Micki said...
(-: Yay! Thurber House has a website, as well. (-: Some cute essays about the Ghost of Thurber House, too.
On July 7, 2009 at 11:29 pm Amy said...
I have yet to watch my DVD. I just swirl, tab, and blend! I think I like it so much because I like playing with brushes. Now, even when I use the cheapy makeup, I still use my nice brushes to apply. It makes me feel pretty.
On July 7, 2009 at 11:35 pm Lou said...
Oh Amber – you crack me up!!!!!
(I was at the exclamation point sale with cc!)
On July 8, 2009 at 1:38 am Marta said...
Glad you got the minerals, as they’re the only way to go. Drape a towel or pillowcase over yourself first. Those minerals have an affinity for clothes. I have a couple of other suggestions that seem trivial but really do up the ante.
Use eye drops that ‘get the red out’ a couple of hours before the event. Line the inside of your lower lid–above your lower eyelashes–with light blue pencil. It makes your eyes look whiter and brighter.
Did your mineral kit come with a pearly sort of highlighter mineral? If so, add a touch just under the arch of your eyebrows. It also brightens your eyes.
Brush your teeth with baking soda shortly before event. Just wet your toothbrush, dip it into the baking soda, and brush. It polishes your teeth shiny, and gets rid of lingering coffee/tea stains. It also is just abrasive enough to make your gums redden a little, and that makes your teeth appear whiter/brighter.
Use a lip pencil before, and the same color as, lipstick so your lipstick won’t take a hike up any wrinkles around your mouth. Moisturizing lipstick is better than that all day stuff, which usually makes your lips dry and wrinkly after an hour or so.
Bright eyes and bright teeth give the illusion of youth and vitality. Remember all you need is the illusion, because age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
On July 8, 2009 at 7:06 am susan leech said...
I live on the edge for the past 62 years of my life. I wear no makeup and I wash my face with the same soap I use all over my body which is suppose to be a no no. I neer had a blemish not even a tiny pimple and my complexion is being commented on all the time..people even ask what I use and so shocked when I tell them soap. susan L.
On July 8, 2009 at 8:31 am Chelle said...
What Hoosier Cherry said. And, don’t worry about the video. You’ll never get through it, lol.
Tear off the little sticker on the inside of the jar. Tap A LITTLE into the lid of the jar. Use the Midsize fluffy brush and swirl it into the lid in the minerals. Swirl onto your face. Look in mirror, see what you think. Tap more into lid, repeat.
You can use the smaller brush for under eye circles, red spots, blemishes, anything else that needs covered up. Tap a little into the lid, swirl the brush and then tap under eyes, on red spots, etc. Blend a little with your finger if you need to.
Once I have swirled and tapped and blended all over my face, then I use the fluffiest brush with the Mineral Veil. I think you’re actually “supposed” to use Mineral Veil at the end, but it works better for me here. Again, tap A LITTLE into the lid, swirl the fluffiest brush, then buff all over face. See what you think, repeat if necessary. Then I use the rest of the make up like you would normally do.
Oh, and what someone said about doing this with a towel on. Or, I just do my face before I get completely dressed.
If all else fails, I say pull a Diva and HIRE SOMEONE. You’re on TV, you’re a NYT blah blah blah
I can totally justify it for you!!
Good luck! Remember, this is supposed to be fun, lol.
Hey, WHEN are you going to be on TV???
On July 8, 2009 at 10:54 am McB said...
I’ve only recently been trying out the mineral based make ups. I had a *thing* in my head for the longest time … “ground rocks? they’re telling me to put ground rocks on my face?” and then Physicians Formula came out with a line and I do like some of their stuff so I tried it and it really does rock (pun intended). I’m using the finisher, or whatever they call it, and it just gives a bit of a glow without looking pancakey.
I’m always wary of the higher priced department store counter stuff. I’ve tried various labels over the years, and some of them I liked well enough, but decided that for those prices I had a right to expect miracles. However, after hearing all the glowing reports about the Bare Essentials (sp?) line I might be tempted to venture outside my local drugstore.
On July 8, 2009 at 1:00 pm Stephanie said...
Bare Escent – yeah, however it’s spelled -will feel better than the other goo but I’m still a fan of tinted moisterizer. It’s about all I can figure out. I’m nearly 40 and I can’t stand the feeling of stuff on my face but I know the need for SPF so I get tinted/SPF moistizer and call it a day. Unless it’s ‘thattimeofthemonth’ and then there’s concealer involved too. Heavy amounts of spackle sometimes.
On July 8, 2009 at 3:22 pm Cherry Clawed said...
For the poll, I’d love an answer that says “I only wear it when I think it’s useful.” I read that women who had better looking skin were more successfull salespersons. I consider part of my volunteer work at the shelter to be “selling” the idea of adoption and concern about animals being something we should all do. Because of this I often decide to use light concealor and foundation/powder to cover up the worst parts of my acne before I head to the shelter or any other event where I feel I’m representing animal lovers. Call me shallow, but I think it helps the image of cat ladies everywhere if the lady showing off the cats is hot.
I never wear makeup to work though and rarely on dates with my boyfriend unless there will be photos to mark the occaison.
I only wear it when I think it’s useful to my purposes.
On July 8, 2009 at 7:35 pm patmcaudel said...
……so, did you meet any good ghosts?
On July 8, 2009 at 8:28 pm Mary Stella said...
I’m jumping in line with everyone else who recommended Bare Escentuals. LOVE the products. Unless I’m going for full battle makeup (which is rare), I get by with the foundation, a little Warmth, two eyeshadows and a sweep of mascara. (Mascara is a must to bring out the eyes. I rarely wear eyeliner.) The foundation powder also doubles for undereye concealer.
Do you have a Sephora near you? When you have more time (hah!) go and let the consultant do the Bare Escentuals makeup on you. Then figure you can get by with a lot less than she’ll apply to your face. You can pick up a starter kit for about $60 and that includes good quality brushes.
I also like their Buxom lip plumpers.
On July 8, 2009 at 10:27 pm JulieB said...
For the poll, I would have voted for “I love to wear it sometimes and can’t be bothered often. Ask me again tomorrow. Somedays I’m go for smoldering eyes, others even mascara seems too onerous.
”
On July 9, 2009 at 12:01 am Meredith B. said...
For the record, you looked lovely tonight.
And you were so interesting and funny that I couldn’t have cared less what you looked like, anyway.
On July 9, 2009 at 12:34 am Jenny said...
Yeah, that poll was a loser. Sorry. Maybe I should take a poll on polls–how annoying are they?–but I like them. Just not this one.
Thank you, Meredith, very much. Especially thank you for coming to Thurber, thank you to everybody who came to Thurber because that really was a lovely audience.
On July 9, 2009 at 10:27 am JulieB said...
Well, get a bunch of writers together and ask them a question and see how long and how many edits the go through to get the correct nuances, shadings, voice…
I like polls though.
On July 9, 2009 at 8:28 am Donna said...
For the record since we all seem to be having problems with it – Bare Escentuals is the company, bareMinerals is the product line.
On July 9, 2009 at 10:59 am Jenny said...
Well, that simples things up. Thank you, Donna.
Yeah, I like the polls, too. I just must learn to write them better.
On July 10, 2009 at 12:30 am Micki said...
(-: I complained, but I like the polls too, and I almost never find a poll that provides the categories I fit into. (That’s because I’m a habitual devil’s advocate and fence-sitter.) They do provide a fun jumping-off point, so I hope you’ll keep them, and not over-think them.
On July 9, 2009 at 1:11 pm Jamie said...
With next time in mind, try Philosophy’s Make up Optional kit. It’s a skin care regime that smooths fine wrinkles, evens skin tone and in general just gives you a nice “make up optional” glow. The moisturizer was originally developed as a way to help burn victims shed dead skin to regrow new skin faster, but people started using it as a beauty regime and a company was born. It’s great stuff. My mom never wears make up for religious reasons and she adores this stuff. She had gastric bypass surgery about two years ago and she was worried about getting a LOT of wrinkles and sagging. Philosophy has helped her skin stay soft and supple. No make up, or odd positions, needed to make her glow.
On July 9, 2009 at 5:04 pm Victoria said...
I looked at the poll and couldn’t find my MO — I only wear makeup when I feel like it.
On July 9, 2009 at 7:08 pm Deborah R said...
Jenny, I attended the Thurber House event, and you have nothing to concern yourself about regarding your appearance. Your speech was informative, funny and a delight to listen to. The animation of your face and body while speaking were the impressions that will stick with me, and believe me I came to the event because I like the way your mind works, not because I had a need to evaluate your wardrobe. I was impressed, and envious, of your speaking skills and the obvious connection you had with your audiencee. So forget about your weight, my husband of almost 20 years insists that the lush curves of a woman are much more interesting, and that most men think so. And makeup? Life’s too short for make-up. Thanks for a wonderful evening.
On July 10, 2009 at 12:53 am ruthie said...
Have you tried Estee Lauder’s Lucidity? It’s very light, evens skin tone, and it has *s*p*a*r*k*l*e*s*. Hmmm, sounds like a certain vampirish flick I could mention. But, really, it has very unobtrusive, light reflecting bits in it that get rid of the shadows in places like from the sides of your nose down next to your mouth. Just gives you a refreshed look.
I used it when I did some video training tapes. One “screen test” and I was ready to crawl under my desk and hide. But the Lucidity took years off and erased signs of fatigue. Ah! There you go: Lucidity Light-Diffusing Makeup SPF 8.
Go to a Nordie’s or someplace similar and have them do you up in it and see if you like it.
On July 10, 2009 at 10:48 am Jade said...
Agree with much of what was said above, especially Deborah R. and Marta. Reality check–how you look is rather important also. But how you project and what you say is much more important.
I would say go with the advice about the Bare Essentials, which you have, and use some blush, some eyeliner–on the upper lid–and also mascara. The highlighter under the brows is also good. I’d also stay away from salt for several days before the event and try to get as much sleep as possible. Then just be as fabulous as you are, and forget about the exterior.
Wish I could be there to hear you!! You’re one of the reasons I wanted to go.
On July 10, 2009 at 7:29 pm AlienEeeter said...
Before your speech go find a department store whose makeup counter does color matching or whatever (I have no clue what they do) and have them do up your face for free.
Honestly, if I have to dress up its mascara and lipstick only. I have no idea how to apply anything else and will look like a clown if I try.
On July 11, 2009 at 6:12 am Karla said...
I very much sympathize. I HATE wearing makeup and my skin always breaks out when I do.
What I do is get my lashes and brows tinted at my salon (and wax the brows too, if they are hairy).
I feel better when I have it done, I think I look better, and no makeup! Try it, you’ll like it
On July 11, 2009 at 10:46 am Sheri said...
When I am dead is when they can get me to wear foundation and all that junk. Untill then I may use a dab of mascara, a smudge of eye shadow, and maybe some lipstick. I will be 47 next month, I have a few gray hairs and I don’t care. Less is definitely better! I am not 20 something nor should I try to look like I am–I find it scary when I see women covered in face paint, trying to be somethng they are not.
And I agree–if men don’t have to wear the stuff why should we? It’s sexist, I tell you, sexist! I actually had my operations manager tell me years ago when I first took the commuter bus route as a schedule that I needed to “make myself up” to drive it! Seriously! She called me into her office and told me I needed to do my hair and put on makeup so that I was “presentable”. I was totatlly blown away and I told her that the day she told one of the men drivers to put on some eye shadow and lip gloss and “do his hair” was the day I would be doing it! She shut up and backed down–I mean, come on! Where the hell does it say THAT in the drivers’ handbook?! Uniform–yes. Makeup–um, NO!
So Jenny, if you want to go au natural you go for it. Society has some very screwed up attitudes about women in general. We don’t need to conform to their strictures–we can think for ourselves and be who we want to be without them telling us what THEY think is “correct”. Oh wait–the non conformist in me is coming out! Sorry, stepping down off my soap box now… *grin*
On July 11, 2009 at 3:41 pm misspiggy don'twannabe said...
Gosh now I’m wondering if I should run out to Sephora or Nordstrom’s before I fly to DC tomorrow for RWA. I have very poor hand-eye coordination so I don’t often try makeup – often I just have a rosy glow from scrubbing off whatever product I’ve tried.
On July 11, 2009 at 10:32 pm misspiggy don'twannabe said...
Well I did it. I ran off to Sephora and bought the Bare Minerals kit – supposedly I saved $114 (before sales tax). Unfortunately J.Jill is located next to Sephora and I invested my savings there.
On July 11, 2009 at 11:03 pm Yvonne Lindsay said...
Jenny, thank you. Your posts ALWAYS lift my spirits. When I read this:
Tip: To know “where to glow” bend over for 30 seconds, then slowly stand up.
I just couldn’t stop laughing. If I bent over for 30 seconds the rest of me would be certain to follow. Slowly stand up? Huh! Chance would be a fine thing.
On the make up issue, I’m with the crew who suggested a tinted moisturiser and/or perhaps mineral makeup. Both have SPF and both are kind on your skin, but you have to feel good about them actually on your skin. Another suggestion that might help is using a primer beneath your foundation (and after your moisturiser) to give an even texture to the foundation, whether you go for liquid or powder. You put primer on a wall before you paint it, why not do the same with your face?
I reckon Alien Eeeter was on the money, provided of course the counter girl does your makeup just right. If it’s a disaster…well, that’s another blog.
On July 12, 2009 at 3:33 am PG said...
One thing I noticed in the “stars without makeup” — women of color like Halle Berry and Eva Longoria seem to look good even without makeup because their skin is dark enough that any variations in its color/tone aren’t as noticeable as on white women of the same age. Also, Kate Moss and Pamela Anderson really do look *better* without makeup, not just because of natural beauty but also because their made-up pics were kind of scary.
On July 12, 2009 at 4:02 pm lady t said...
Great post Amber! Ha. You always make me laugh!
On July 12, 2009 at 9:09 pm Jeanne O'Leary said...
AVEDA tinted moisturizer is great, and use lipstick touch ups instead of blush, dab and smooth, use for lips too. Two products, three uses.Good to go!
On July 20, 2009 at 3:58 pm Briana said...
I got to go to Thurber House to hear, see, and meet you — I totally splurged and took myself out for the evening and it was great! Thanks so much for coming and you were delightful.
It made me happy I like your books (happier new ones are in the works!) and happy I like to share them. And it made me think I should read Turn of the Screw.
Thanks again for coming!