Change You Can Apply Liberally to Your Roots for Thirty Minutes
Somebody said once that when a woman wants to change her life, she changes her hair. And God knows, that’s me. I even wrote my worst experiences into a novel. But now I’m Mature. I’m going to be 59. So I’m facing Change and embracing it.
So I was just cleaning out my bathroom vanity (holds a lot of stuff) and found these two hair color boxes. One was a lovely streaky brown that was very tasteful, and I thought, “I’m gonna do this RIGHT NOW.” Because embracing change means seizing the moment. Also, I was bored with cleaning.
So I got all the little bottles and envelopes and modules out–it’s like a chemistry class these days–and read the directions and right there it said, “Do not use on gray hair.” Well, it’s only the top layer of my hair that’s gray, everything under that is dark ash brown, but still, there’s that gray, sitting like the whipped cream on a chocolate something, so I picked up the second box.
This one’s a little dicier. It was marked down to three dollars in some plastic bin and it’s bright, light red. Actually, it’s called Apricot, which I don’t think is a good sign. Also it’s discontinued, which is also not encouraging, but that’s why it was three bucks. On the other hand, I used to do this all the time in college, go platinum, go pitch black, go bright screaming red. Never bothered me then. Of course then I had a firm jawline and an awesome bustline so I had more going for me, but still, I used to be a real free spirit in the hair dept. And now I’m almost 59 and getting jaded. And gray. Let’s not talk about the jawline. Speaking of which, Slate did a slide show on wrinkles that was actually interesting. But I digress.
The big fear was that I’d end up looking like Mrs. Roper on Three’s Company, but I googled her and her hair wasn’t that red, evidently. That leaves me with Shirley MacClaine the later years to worry about but I happen to think Shirley is a helluva broad, so that’s not exactly a drawback either. Anyway, I decided what the hell and put it on. It was fairly uneventful except when my hand slipped and I squirted some on the floor, narrowly missing Wolfie who’d come in to see what I was doing and if it was anything edible. Thank God I missed. I already have to put up with blonde Veronica. If I had a red-headed Wolfie . . . Actually, he’d probably turn out to be a canine David Caruso. Without the long . . . pauses.
And now, since I’m covering gray, it takes thirty minutes, and there’s not a lot you can do with gunk on your head except live blog your follicular apocolypse. I e-mailed Krissie and Lani for support, but Krissie is off somewhere having a life and Lani just says, “I want pictures.”
******
Sorry, had to go rinse, the thirty minutes were up. It’s hard to tell at this point, but it Does Not Look Good. I have the avocado conditioner on now and it’s supposed to stay on for two minutes and then I rinse that out and see if I can find my blow dryer to see how bad this actually is. I think it’s going to be Crayola Orange, which is Lani’s youngest’s favorite color so I’ll have one fan. Her other favorite color is green, which would be an improvement, I have a feeling. Maybe the avocado conditioner will tone it down some.
This is not good. Unless you can appreciate the comic potential. Also I have people coming for dinner tomorrow night. Fortunately, it’s Laura Resnick and Mary Jo Putney, and they’ve seen me looking lousy before but I’d really rather not achieve a new low if I don’t have to.
But by god I embraced Change. Which I think just kneed me in the groin.
******
So I was all prepared to come in here and do a comic rif on how awful it was, but I like it. I may feel differently tomorrow in the daylight, but I’m pretty happy right now.
Of course, it’s discontinued.
I’m with Lani.
PICTURES!!!
Remember when Anne of Green Gables dyed her hair green?
Anyway, I’m too wimpy to dye my hair. I buy wigs.
My body has changed pretty significantly in the last year and a half, and it took my hair with it. Some of it fell out, some of it went gray, part of it is curly to the point of ringlets, and the rest of it frizzes. I’ve been wearing it back in a pony tail for months, and if it doesn’t settle down soon I’m going to have to shave the whole mess off and start over. I’d like my old body and hair back, please!
I like it. With the right outfit you can call it research for Wild Ride.
I once did something similar, though I wasn’t crazy enough to liveblog it. It was shocking, but not fatal. Hair grows.
Jenny, I think it looks great, and besides, if you don’t like it in the morning you can always colour over it. Something rich and conditioning (and no doubt boring, which you are not.)To be honest, it looks like a really ‘fun’ colour, and the expression on your face in the pic says it all
Have a happy hair day!
I like it too.
My mom and I were talking about hair one day and she told me that for a nickel she’d go blonde so I forked over the five cents and the 9.99 for the dye. It was terrible. And it was Saturday night. Fortunately, there was a drug store open on Sunday so we got some brown and covered it up.
I always dye my hair purple (okay, eggplant) and when I rinse my hair the tub looks like I’ve been disposing of a body.
I love it - not at all a clown red (ignore RfP’s bitchiness, you look adorable) but a nice soft red for Autumn. And OMG Great Minds! I just got back from having 6 inches chopped off and dying the remainder a deep red (following same link, more like Garnier’s Intense Auburn). Woot - redheads in da house!!
Jenny I think your hair great, red is an abrupt change so you can’t be expected to like it straight away.
I’m not game enough to dye my hair myself after an unfortunate experience when I was 16 and the rinse went on patchy and I got called camel shit at school.
So after your recent ‘makeover’ blog, I was inspired and went to a new hairdresser, my only instructions to her were red and shoulder length. She was very happy to be working with a ‘blank canvas’. And I was very happy with the result, and won’t be returning to a la naturel.
Here is the before and after http://disyc.blogspot.com/2008/07/alchemy.html
and it certainly went well with the vampire costume I wore to the RomAus cocktail conference…
http://disyc.blogspot.com/2008/09/vampires-and-blog-issues.html
As they say, a change is as good as a holiday.
Since June I’ve been talking about doing something drastic with my hair. I’m such a wimp. Congrats on embracing change. I’m going looking for some courage in a hair bottle.
It looks great. Seriously. You DO NOT look 59. Nope. Not at all.
For change, I keep cutting mine. Soon, all I’ll need a NAIR.
You look great, babe. Your coloring is perfect for it and I like that short and sassy cut.
Your color! In fact, my color. We both look terrific. Put some Product on and muush up the roots, and you’re good for high-steppin’. My stylist guy, Robbo, would advise a few highlights, a few lowlights. He’s got the foil if you’ve got the time.
Love it! You look great! Gorgeous color…and not a strand of gray. Nice job. Enjoy.
I LOVE it, and I’m very impressed that it kept true to it’s chemical whatever and ended up looking like the picture on the box.
When I get these damn bangs grown out, I’m going redder.
You’re gorgeous, baby! I really love it!
I’m replying via phone so I can’t see the picture but as a firm believer in better living through chemestry, it must be good. Once I used a high light product and, true to form with my lazer-like attention to detail, I skipped a part of the directions. So, for 20 minutes, I sat with precisley streaked strands, waiting for the glorious chemical reaction. And…nothing. So I re-read the directions: Oh, guess I was supposed to mix some sprinkles into the goo… Note: do not mix an ENTIRE packet of color sprinkles with HALF of the chemical goo unless you are aiming for the “Pepe LaPew” look. Tres Chic!
I like it.
I just dyed my hair a really light red on accident too. I was going for Rose from Titannic.
Someone said I reminded them of Lucille Ball.
Oh well. My man couldn’t stop telling me how pretty I looked after so I chalk that down as a win. Redheads are hot!
You don’t look a day older than 29. Looks great! Reminds me I need to dye my hair.
Saw SNL live-Tina Fey is my hero.
OMG - LOVED the SNL bit - Tina Fey & Amy Poehler were Perfect.
I was preparing to cringe, but…I kind of love it. Wow. It’s FUN. It’s calling out for cute sparkly clips though.
I love it. Change is good. That length is nice on you too. Now you’ll get to play with make-up and clothing to compliment the hair.
marked down AND discontinued … I gotta ask if Wolfie does the dead dog joke. Fortunately your impulse turned out so much better. Embrace your inner redhead.
P.s. Please pass along my thanks and fan girl squee to MJP.
I like it, too. When I read Apricot, I feared for the worst, but no. My mother had a similar hair color, and I always envied her for that. Now all you need is a more confident expression on your face.
Jenny,
I think it looks great! And for $3 that’s cheap therapy!
That’s a great color for you, Jenny! Congratulations on embracing Change, challenging your fear, making the most of a bargain and getting a new look. Great results for 30 minutes’ worth of effort!
I leave hair coloring to the professionals. It never turns out well when I try it at home. I once attempted reddish highlights and ended up with what I refer to as Hale-Bopp hair. (The Hale-Bopp comet pictures showed an orange streak on a dark background. Sort of like my hair after that experiment.)
Love it!
CUTE!
It must be the season for hair change. I just chopped a foot off mine. : ) Yours looks great and if you still like it in the light of morning, woo for that!
Looks Good!
It looks great, it really does!
And who knows, it may have looked great on Wolfie too. He may have come in, not for food but because he has a secret desire to be a red dachshund instead of a black and tan.
It looks good ! And it looks happy. You did a much better job than Lucy.
I like the color…And the face you’re making!
Red hair WORKS…
I dyed mine red about four years ago…. And men I had known for at least 10 years looked at me differently. (and then the roots grew out..boo.). Red hair is expensive. (And I plan on going back after the first of the year…)
You *must* test drive the hair… (ie….test = men)
(oh, and at least with red hair, there’s no “tan or no tan” issue. redheads don’t normally tan. BONUS).
It does look good. And we’re not just saying that.
You are a better woman that I, though, since I figured that Lucy’s hair ‘issues’ probably had some grain of truth in them and I know I couldn’t do that more than once. I’ve had my once. Right after Sept. 11th I felt I needed a change. Bought ‘Spicy Ginger’ - which looked brown on the box but turned my hair BOZO THE CLOWN ORANGE. It was horrible. Thankfully the woman I’d found 3 weeks earlier to cut my hair was a miracle worker and put some black goo on it for a whole afternoon and turned it brown again. Now, my mantra - after ‘embrace the gray’, is ‘I will not dye my own hair’.
Jenny, the color really does go with your light skin tone, and I’m really glad you didn’t snag Wofie. Please add another avid fan thank you to MJP. Hope you had a great dinner.
I think it looks fantastic, and I love your haircut! Now I must go wipe off my keyboard because the Wolfie/David Caruso comparison made me snort water out my nose.
This sentence “I’d really rather not achieve a new low if I don’t have to, followed by an utterly kick-ass pic is why we love you and your heroines.
From a gal whose wackiest colour catastrophe streaked my neck bright orange the day I flew home to Toronto to impress old friends with my suave new life — excellent save!
I once tried coloring my (brown going white) hair red. The “washes out in 12 shampooings” didn’t. Which led to a co-worker peering at me and saying, “do you have … PINK hair?” … which I had to admit I did. Took three months to grow out.
Now it’s red - auburn red - but I have it done by a professional.
I’m glad you like yours - it looks like fun. Go for it, girl!
You can tell your company that you have a character that dyed her hair the wrong color and you wanted to experience that so you could write it authentically and that you only spend 3 bucks. After they leave you intend to go to the hair dresser and get a good color.
See?
Hope you and all the pets are ok down there near the River. It sounds like it good a it breezy in your area.
Nothing like having guests in for a good storm!
I love it!! You lucked out and it looks terrific!
I use to color my hair all the time. I started with a light red, just to highlight my yucky dishwater blonde natural color. Then I got a little more adventurous and pretty soon I was a deep auburn!! The only thing I have against red is that it is so very hard to keep up…
After being red for about a year or two I decided to go back to my natural color. Now THAT was a disaster! I had to strip the red out and then leave it alone–omg, I had ORANGEY BLONDE hair! Yeah, like THAT isn’t an obvious color!! It was awful–my daughters were horrified and I tried to cover it but to no avail. I had to let it rest for about a month and then was able to color over it. I haven’t colored my hair since. However I have been noticing some gray hairs so now I am toying with the idea–but nothing outrageous. (sigh) I think my days of c’est la vie are long gone….
Oh yeah, and did I forget to mention that I like your new look? Very cute, very sassy. I think you can definitely pull off red–you have the right skin tone for it. Ok, gotta get busy–took the day off from work to get stuff done and all I have done is feed the birds, make breakfast, get the roast in the Crock Pot for dinner tonight, let the dogs out (and in, and out, and in….), pulled some weeds, watered the garden, and played on the computer. Time to vacuum, sweep, mop, do laundry, shampoo the carpets, call the paper and put a found dog ad in (don’t go there)…. Oh yeah, and not talk all day so I can rehearse with the worship team tonight without my voice being all scratchy–had an all day rehearsal yesterday for our big Xmas production and I am wiped!
I woke up today and heard that large areas of and surrounding Cinncy are without power, so hoping you are well. And, if you’re offline, online soon.
Wow. I really like it. But I’m more impressed with the guts to try out $3 discontinued Apricot hair dye, and then come out looking cute and younger. I think I need more guts.
I’ve never dyed my hair, though the freaking enclave of gray that’s manifested recently might change my mind. I like the look, Jenny. It’s sharp and, dare I say, sassy.
I’m just a tad worried about your scalp…
Only my PROFESSIONAL hair dresser knows for sure. I sure don’t .
Your experience reminded me of Lucy, from Getting Rid of Bradley.
But otherwise, I’m a fan! You’ve got cojones.
PS: I’m on board with the Carver the Killer Clown outfit.
LOVE the hair- new hair always makes you feel like a new and different person- kudos for you!
BTW-Shirley McClaine is AWESOME.
hear you on the burnout- trying to get psyched up for the retail holiday season…would rather rip out my toenails one by one. Did I mention Costco already had Christmas out and were playing Christmas music– September is DEFINITELY too early for “Jingle Bells” LOL.
hugs-
Siberia
December is too early for Christmas music. But I’m just one of those type of people.
And I went red a few weeks ago. I picked up another box today. I think something is in the air.
Also, forgot to say you look downright smug, but in a good way.
I was unaware there was New Hair to be commented on. I was a tad distracted. Next time, I’ll be sure to analyze it thoroughly.
Mary Jo and I didn’t have dinner at Jenny’s that night, after all. Because there was a hurricane that day. Here IN OHIO. Where we’re not exactly prepared for that sort of thing. And apart from “state of emergency” warnings to STAY INSIDE (a handy tip for those who perchance didn’t notice that the wind was blowing down trees and roofs and billboards), it was agreed that my Corolla would not survive the journey to Jenny’s in such conditions. And, as she so touchingly put it, she didn’t want to become known for having inadvertently killed me and Mary Jo by inviting us to dinner.
Anyhow, I was one of the nearly 800,000 people who still didn’t have electricity the next day. And Mary Jo and I flung ourselves on Jenny’s mercy, since she was one of the few people whose power had come back on! (So she is indeed The Chosen One.)
Jenny kindly put us up for about 12 hours, and we enjoyed her hospitality, hot water, hot meals, cold water, and nice TV. Then I decided to make the long trek to my place to see if I had power back yet. (I didn’t.) By then, it was bedtime.
So thanks, Jenny!
LauraR
Oooh! I get to be first!
Happy birthday, Jenny!
What a week!! New hair and a birthday. Enjoy!!
Happy B-Day!
And how do you people know?
Does that mean you’re 59 again?
Happy birthday
1. “Do not use one grey hair”???? Huh?
2. Something tells me we’re not in college anymore.
3. You look fabulous, Jenny.
ON grey hair. Although “one” grey hair has possibilities.
You are one brave broad. But I kind of like the orange with the magenta skin. I know it’s just the photo making it magenta. Isn’t it? Please say yes.
I find it really difficult this expression ‘embracing my age’. Actually I think it is kinda crap. I think we just try to reconcile ourselves to the fact that we are losing big time on the one hand and getting something else on the other.
But back to brave. I think you are fabulously brave, and now you have shown us the results. Truly brave. Not I think you should book in at a good salon and have a gorgeous professional colour job done. You deserve it. Incidentally, you have a great face.
Happy birthday!
In honor of your day, and your new hair color, I named a pretty apricot colored goldfish after you. I also named a rather skittish red one, Bob. We’d had so many Oscar’s it was time for a change. My last big guy, a fancy breed of goldfish, Oscar Meyer, died last week. That left only a bottom feeder and I couldn’t stand to see him looking so lonely, so I went shopping. The three of them are having great fun, or maybe they’re trying to kill each other, I’m not sure.
I don’t know how everyone else knows, but I’m joining in. Happy Birthday! I’m glad to hear via Laura you have power, and I hope you are out celebrating.
Jennifer Crusie, even out of electricity, you have Power!
And, okay, yeah, the aforementioned magenta skin. Professionals are there for a reason! The goddess has ordained.
Happy birthday (3 hours late…)!
I was just reading Agnes and the Hitman (FINALLY), and I just wanted to let you know that you get infinity respect points for having used the word “defenestration” in any viable context whatsoever. You may share these respect points with Bob Mayer if that is where credit is due.
Happy birthday, herzlichen Glückwunsch, joyeux anniversaire, felicitaciones and a lot more from the old place over here.
On New Year’s Eve 2000, I got a mug which said “This is going to be my century!”, not on the outside but printed inside so that you could read it shortly before drinking from it. I use it every time I feel that I need a confidence boost.
I haven’t seen one yet which is in English and says “This is going to be my year”, but take the idea a a virtual gift. Hope that everything will work out for you. Remember: change is good, and, “Yes, we can!”
on a completely random note, came across the word ‘depontification’ t’other day. To assassinate by throwing off a bridge. Of course, Patrick Leigh Fermor may have made it up, but it’s still a great word (more suited to Don’t Look Down perhaps).
Yes, happy belated birthday! I had no power for 2 days (some people here STILL don’t), and once it came back on, the internet kept going out “Firefox cannot locate…” whatever the website was.
You know, most of us in the US have electricity on our birthdays, and don’t think about it enough to enjoy it. I’ll try to remember to do so this year.
A very Happy Belated Birthday to you, Jenny. And many, many more!!!
depontification
Whereas depontifiction is, of course, throwing a book off a bridge.
I like it!!!! Wish I could go red, auburn, titan, any shade of red.
Colognegrrl, I checked your site and couldn’t find any contact information, so instead of e-mailing this, I’m posting it here:
http://shop.cafepress.com/design/16752969
Jenny, happy birthday belatedly! My gift isn’t ready yet; when I figure out how to set my biological clock on REWIND, I’ll share the information with you.
Jenny,
Happy Birthday! Have a great year!
I forget who, a few pages back, said fascination with the elections was a way to avoid more pressing work. Psychologist and writer Susan O’Doherty posted a column today on election anxiety:
“a number of writers have confided that anxiety related to the coming election is preventing them from concentrating on their work. The first time I heard this, from a client, my impulse was to dig deeper, to uncover more personal contributions to this block. But then other clients, and several friends, described a similar state of mind, and I began to realize that ‘voter’s block’ is a real phenomenon, and its ‘deeper, more personal’ underpinning is the horrified perception that our last hope of national salvation is being yanked away–by a gang of smiling, stylishly dressed anti-intellectuals.”
I’m here, I’m here, I have power and my driveway is clear and I’ll be back shortly. And I’ll read all the comments. And lose weight. And learn to play the piano . . .
I’m a little behind here but I’ll catch up.
Thanks for the link, Talpianna. However, I’m confused. Does this mean it’s the Chinese year of the pig or something? Because where I come from, people would consider it as being time for the final, irreversible transmutation from pig to pork.
And that’s nothing I’d give to Jenny for her birthday. Even if the piggie is still smiling.
Hey! Sept. 17th is my birthday, too!
But I am so not a Virgo. My Tupperware has no lids. And I can never find my keys. Aren’t Virgos supposed to be organized–fastidiously so?
Happy birthday, Jenny! I’m sure you’re a better Virgo than I am. Even WITH your office generating random paper and boxes all the time.
Maybe there’s something about Virgos I don’t know about…maybe I really AM like other Virgos.
I don’t know what the pig means; I just found that image when I searched CafePress. They are much better equipped with moles.
Hey fun! Look at you. I like it, but that really doesn’t matter at all. All that matter is that you like it. I was holding my breath though the whole story. Whew! Great outcome.
Late as usual. Sorry to have missed all the fun, but my birthday wishes to you are no less sincere, Jenny.
Your hair looks pretty good too. You have way more guts than I do. My hair is blond and when I was a teen, I would sometimes buy Sun-In to encourage the highlights. Once the drugstore didn’t have any Sun-In so I bought something else that seemed like the same thing, only when I opened the box it had gloves in it which put me off so I didn’t use it.
Enter the unhappy friend of my mother, who had just been dumped and needed a pick-me-up. She came to our home with light brown hair and left several hours later with Bozo orange hair and a whole different sort of problem - her hair was so badly damaged that it had to be cut off to nearly a buzz cut.
I’ve never touched a box of hair dye again and if I ever consider it, I’ll call in the professionals.
Jenyfer–the professionals down at the salon, or the professionals in white coats with the nets?
Talpianna - I suppose the answer to that question depends on which color I am thinking of applying
xxx
Wah! Wordpress hates me….
I think my last comment got eaten by a spam filter…
Looks like I’m allowed a one line comment/day…brevity is not my style
Hey, Wordpress won’t even let me into my own blog.
I can’t approve any moderated comments, I can’t check the spam filter, I CAN’T POST.
I haven’t forgotten you; Wordpress is blocking me. ARGH.
We’re glad to know you haven’t run off with another set of commenters…
We’re glad to know you haven’t run off with another set of commenters…
Can we picket Wordpress? Don’t Block Jenny!
I’ve been a lurker for what seems like forever, but I believe it’s time for me to come out of hiding… I was reading the outtakes for Agnes and I noticed the Tootaloos/Torrentinos had their suits made in Macon, GA. I work in Macon, GA and I’ve seen it used in several novels and wondered if it had some kind of significance for you or Bob. If it does…yay!!
I’ve always been a huge Crusie fan and my husband bought me Agnes for my birthday (Sept. 15…go Virgos!!!) I loved it, as I have all of your work. Please don’t stop doing what you do, Jenny. All of us Cherries adore you.
OK — That sounded WAY too needy. I really only pressed the button once….
Keep it up, kids. Perhaps when we get to 100 comments, the blog will magically open and let Jenny in.
Or not.
(Why did you choose WordPress again? And what were you drinking at the time?)
Yeah, we’re looking into switching, but probably not until next year.
I still can’t get in to put up the post. But in short:
For a great read, try Valerie Frankel’s excellent THIN IS THE NEW HAPPY. I want to talk about it and will if I ever get my blog back, and Val will be here to answer any questions you want to post in the comments.
I just looked up the book at Amazon and it sounds like serious stuff. Which I think is necessary to deal with after seeing so many kids with obvious weight problems (anorexic as well as the other way round - oops, pun not intended…)
Oh thank goodness, Jenny. You’re still with us, just muzzled. When that gag order is rescinded, there will be dancing at the blog as the posts flow like fine wine.
In an effort to help hit today’s goal of 100 posts Slave Driver is bringing you this public service announcement:
Pushing Daisies’s premier. Tomorrow.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled Blog.
Wordpress blocked our Post Goddess and we miss her! Glad your here tho Jenny. I checked out an excerpt from ‘Thin is the New Happy’. Wow. So True. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts…one day when your own blog allows you to post again!
Oh — the goal is for today?? Um. huh. Stumped for an on topic idea. Is there a code-version of ex-lax we could feed into Wordpress?
My contribution to reaching the Magic Century Mark!
Home from a trip in time to be 99.
I’ll be the centenarian.
Ooh, ooh! I’ll be 100! And, while I’m at it…ooh, ooh! Pushing Daisies! Yay! Now, O Mysterious Gods O’ Wordpress, let there be posting from Jenny!
Doesn’t seem to have worked though. Maybe it didn’t really count some of the repeats? We’ll probably keep trying.
The look on Jenny’s face after her hair color experiment takes on a whole new meaning now that she can’t post!
I have images of her giving her computer a lecture on the virtues of working correctly.
Sorry, some of you counters ended up in the moderated comments with all the spam. I brushed you off and put you back.
of course there’s some weird code where the recent posts should be, but we’ll get that taken care of. In the meantime, NEW POST!
And thank you so much for amusing yourselves while I was locked out.