Home Again
Aug112008
It really is lovely to be home again. I have a hellacious amount of work to do, but it’s all work I want to do, so life is good. I was going to write On The Road blogs, but the days were just packed, as Calvin would say, so I didn’t. And now I can’t remember much. Except:
Kennywood is the perfect model for our park in Wild Ride. I took many pictures, but for some reason the iPhone didn’t record the last forty or so which is annoying. Of course it did record the first 170, which I now have to catalog and label for Bob, so maybe it’s not annoying.
I ended up in West Virginia and Maryland at one point because my car’s GPS took me there. I was on my way to Gaffney’s house, which is not in West Virginia or Maryland, and I kept calling her and saying, “Why the hell am I in Maryland?” and she’d say, “I have no idea,” and then I’d go down into a valley and the cell service would cut out, and I’d have to call her again at the top of the next hill and say, “I’m not dead.” She finally said, “I know you’re not dead. Why are you in Maryland?” Anyway, somewhere in there I saw a sign for the Forks of Cheat Winery. I thought, “WTF?” and puzzled on it for about ten miles until I hit this bridge over Cheat Lake at which point it all became clear. Is that a great name for a winery or what?
There is no cell service at Gaffney’s and she doesn’t have wireless and I was too lazy to go find a USB cord so I was without cellphone or internet for quite a while. When you consider how peaceful it is at Gaffney’s–no noise except for the dogs and the bear who broke her birdfeeder the night before I left–it really was a vacation.
Then there was visiting The Most Beautiful Baby in the World, and the time really flew. Meg took the train down from New York to meet the new kid in the dynasty and it turns out that she’s a Baby Whisperer: Callie cooed and smiled and waved her arms whenever Meg smiled at her. Explains why she’s so good with authors.
Then back on the road to spend more time with Gaffney and then home. Many adventures along the way, but I can’t remember any of them now. Oh, except that on I70 somewhere between Cincy and Columbus there are these two black billboards. Going north, they have the ten commandments on them, written in white. Going south they have some question on them like “Where will you go when you die?” followed by “HELL IS REAL.” I’ve seen these billboards a lot since I’m on that road a lot, but coming home this time I was really tired and I saw them and thought, “Dear God, help the people who have to live with that whack job.” Can you imagine the dinner table every night, with somebody who feels the need to harangue people on their way to the Jefferson Outlets?
Then I got home and I was really tired and didn’t move fast enough and Milton leapt up and frenched me. That’ll teach me to breathe through my mouth. And today I slept most of the day so I’m still groggy which is why this post rambles. I’d love to promise you a better post tomorrow, but I wouldn’t count on it. I think my brain is going to be tapioca for awhile. But I had a wonderful time, so it was all worth it.
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18 Comments to 'Home Again'
On August 11, 2008 at 10:16 pm Carey said...
Those billboards seem to change quite a bit, depending on the local fare… We have some in Central Illinois, but they say things like, “I love you, I love you, I love you. – God.” A little bit more warm & cozy, perhaps, than tidings of hell-boundedness….
Welcome back to the blog.
On August 11, 2008 at 10:43 pm robena grant said...
Ah, you’re home safe and sound. Glad you had a good trip. I love Cheat Lake, it’s worthy of a title for a romance novel, he cheats, drowns, she finds the love of her life. Ha ha.
Love the doggie French kisses, they rival the whole body wagging that makes for piddling on the floor.
Can’t quite imagine Bob looking at 170 photographs of a fun park but yeah, you must send them.
On August 11, 2008 at 10:44 pm JulieB said...
You are tired or you would have titled the blog “Frenching Milton.”
Welcome home.
On August 11, 2008 at 10:57 pm Merry said...
Ah, so Milton is a Frenchman, is he? I didn’t see him wearing a beret, but that behavior sounds very Maurice Chevalier
On August 11, 2008 at 10:59 pm Merry said...
I rhyme without knowing it, hey?
On August 11, 2008 at 11:26 pm cc said...
The Most Beautiful Baby in the World and limited cell service? Yep, sounds good to me.
On August 12, 2008 at 12:47 am talpianna said...
Merry, Milton sounds more like Pepé le Pew!
http://dirtymartini.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/pepe-le-pew.jpg
On August 12, 2008 at 6:16 am CT said...
The “HELL IS REAL” sign always makes my husband say, “Yeah, it is. It’s this car, going to the damn outlet mall again.”
What can I say? I love the Jeffersonville outlets.
On August 12, 2008 at 7:49 am inkgrrl said...
Glad you’re home again safely and have had quality time with various wonderful wimmins, most especially Callie The Most Beautiful Baby in the World.
Milton and Emma can never meet in person or their tongues would cause a space-time implosion. Or something.
On August 12, 2008 at 8:20 am McB said...
Absolutely lovely post. Yes, the road out of Ohio does weave through both WV and MD and sometimes back again. And if I had known you were wandering virtually in my back yard, I would have reassured you. I would have pointed you towards Berkeley Springs and you could have stopped in and enjoyed the baths.
It’s nice to find yourself unconnected to the outside world once in a while. I have family living in a “no cell tower” zone and it’s rather restful to be in a place where people aren’t running around looking like Borgs and talking to themselves. Hmm, wonder if it’s the same neck of the woods as Gaffney?
More Beautiful Baby pictures, please.
On August 12, 2008 at 9:07 am Kim said...
I’m glad that you are home safe and sound, got to see your beautiful grandchild, and had inspiring reading on the way home! I can’t believe that Kennywood is going to serve as inspiration for the park in Wild Ride. I have very fond memories of the park. Once a summmer, our high school band would make the 2 1/2 hour bus ride to Kennywood. In return for unlimited rides during the day, we would put on our uniforms and participate in a parade through the park at night.
On August 12, 2008 at 11:12 am Slave Driver said...
“I saw a sign for the Forks of Cheat Winery”
You passed a Winery and didn’t stop? Wow, you have waaay more self control than I do…
On August 13, 2008 at 7:49 am kate said...
My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car (somehow wedged in between all the Phil Graham and ‘W4EVAH’ ones):
“God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.”
On August 13, 2008 at 9:19 am Bonnie C said...
“God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.”
LOL! I’m an atheist and *I* would put that on the back of my car. Brilliant!
There are very similar signs on the way out to Vegas somewhere between Baker and Stateline (CA). I just figured it was some desert nutwhack. I guess he’s got a cousin.
Glad to hear the trip went well, espcially the Beautiful Baby part. If Molly’s ok with it I’m sure everyone would love to help you coo over photos. (However having two very small ones myself I can totally get behind not putting their pix out there for the nutwhacks of the world to oogle.)
Anyhoo, welcome home. Get to work.
On August 13, 2008 at 8:49 pm CrankyOtter said...
I do not understand why your blog is full of apologies for what it isn’t. I love it for what it is. I would never know what you meant to do if you didn’t tell me.
Similarly I have some misfit glass pumpkins I need to unload. They are hideous and I hate them but someone else will probably love them because they don’t see what they were supposed to be, like I do, but what they really are. And I’ll apologize for that in the form of a discount…
So really, I understand your motivation for the apologies, but it makes it seem like you owe us something better than you. What I want to read about here is you, not some mystical wonderful perfect version of you that I could only hate for being perfect. Unless you’re also still very nice.
On August 13, 2008 at 8:53 pm CrankyOtter said...
Oh, and as to the billboards, there was someone in my former town who drove around in a car covered with hate mongering “scripture”. Turns out his house on Cherry street is too. I always thought this guy must enjoy misery. What I don’t understand is expecting everyone else to enjoy misery so much that you’d ruin your siding and gas mileage that way.
And since I didn’t say it before, AWWWWW! Cute grandbaby!
On August 18, 2008 at 11:25 am Lynn said...
Kennywood! I love Kennywood, used to go there every year for school picnics, to march in fall festival parades (band geek), and was just there in June. If you need pictures, let me know I’ve got a ton of them. If you want background on the park check out the Kennywood Memories video collection, it’s been there forever (even though just recently purchased by an outside group).
Sorry, got a bit carried away …
On August 18, 2008 at 10:36 pm Kaylle said...
I’m a lurker here, but I had to poke my head out to say that I was driving from Cincy to Milwaukee (and back) this weekend and somewhere along the way (I think on I-65?) I saw a sign that reminded me of this post. Going northbound it says JESUS IS REAL, but going southbound it says HELL IS REAL. I sort of wondered if there was a larger metaphor at play there; people going north get a message of hope, while people going south get a warning?
At any rate, it made me laugh!