Random Sunday
Cleaning out the spam folder and trying to check for legit comments, I noticed that the new thing in spam is looooooong lists of phrases that start to look like free verse (this is the R version instead of the original X):
sophie moone cowgirl
crossdressing king of prussia
men forced to be sissies
dating online parent service single
doug’s refinishing supplies climax michigan
cowboy cowgirls southwestern
condoms drink drinkers free heavy provokes
salon tres chic in agawam ma
daddy cool remix
man pantie sissy lace
wexford ribs joe daddy
celebrities emergency housing alternatives
It’s like e. e. cummings. Only, you know, not.
I finally got my bed together. Four days, a zillion pieces unless you count the screws and nails and the allen wrench and then it’s two zillion pieces. I wrestled the box spring on it, then the mattress, then looked at it and thought, “Huh.” Clearly, you’re not supposed to use a box spring on this bedframe. Top of the world, Ma. Regardless, I’m keeping it this way. If you never hear from me again, I rolled off the bed and killed myself.
I have two little girls coming to stay with me week after next, so I looked for bubble stuff at Krogers because I wanted to blow bubbles and if there are kids here, I have an excuse to do it. Except in the twenty-five years since Mollie blew bubbles with me, there have been HUGE advances in bubble technology. I got six different kinds of bubble makers. Two had batteries. I am going to have such a good time. I may even let the kids play with them.
The Curse of the Sub Zero is over. When I moved in here, there was a Sub Zero fridge from the eighties. It clearly had no respect for me; while it kept my food decently cold, it sometimes froze my carrots and warmed my Diet Coke, and often it refused to open. If I was desperate, I’d yank hard a couple of times, swear, and then really yank and it would give up, but there were times I decided I just wasn’t that hungry and walked away. When Bob was here, he tried to open it and said, “Is this locked?” I said, “No, it’s cranky.” He yanked on it again and the fridge gave up, but he said, “Get a new one.” Well, I’d been trying. I’d done all my homework and zeroed in on the one I wanted, Energy Star, the whole thing. Then I took a deep breath and went out to buy The Major Appliance. Except the Energy Star ratings just got tougher so KitchenAid was retooling the one I wanted and all the old models were gone and the new models wouldn’t be in until the end of July. Sears toyed with me by letting me order it and then canceling the order (I’m annoyed with Sears), but Lowes had a Whirlpool floor model that the salesman swore was the same fridge, and he sold it to me for 10% off. So last week they brought in the new one and took the old one. It didn’t go easy. Damn thing must have weighed a thousand pounds. But now I have fabulous working refrigerator in my new unfinished kitchen that lets me open the doors. It’s such a rush. I don’t know where the Sub Zero is. Probably lurking in the woods, plotting its revenge. (I’ve been watching a lot of Supernatural. Sorry.)
Speaking of Bob, when he was here the last time he took a walk down by the river. Here’s the picture I took of him from the deck. Yes, that’s my back yard. But where’s Waldo? I mean, Bob.
Why, yes, Mollie did figure out how to do an end run around Wordpress’s really horrible update. That’s how Callie’s one-day old picture got up here. Which reminds me, here she is at five days:
And now I have to stop doing the proud grandmother thing on the internet. But thank you, Photobucket for finally being the solution to the picture problem.
The Fabulous Krogers near here has full size pink tools—shovel, rake, and hoe—that I snickered at. Well, there was a sign that said, “Pink hoe.” I couldn’t help myself. Except now I want them but if I go back, they’ll be gone. Also I’m broke (see below). But a pink hoe . . . I think I need a pink hoe. Speaking of snickering, Krogers also had a sign for the NEW Snickers Bars! Naturally, I looked to see what was new. Snickers with . . . caffeine. WTF? Of course, they’d be nirvana for Bob, but still . . . caffeine? The sugar rush isn’t enough? Or is the caffeine supposed to carry you through the sugar crash that follows? I’m perplexed.
I’m having a hell of time getting any writing done what with all the workmen and the new grandkid and cleaning out the house to stock a Goodwill, so this looks like a good solution. Sweaty, but good. Focus, that’s what I need.
It’s from the fabulous “You Knit What?” blog. And it’s not the worst thing there, either.
Lani e-mailed and said she’d bring a pool for the girls to play in and I thought, “Who brings a pool from New York?” so I went to Toys ‘R’ Us which they should rename Crack F’r Grandmas. I almost bought a tiny toddler-sized frog wading pool for Callie. Then I remembered she wouldn’t be a toddler for a year. So I concentrated on the girls and got a sprinkler set and an alligator pool and a spray thing that’s a zebra’s head and when you press the button, the zebra’s mouth opens and the water sprays out. I would have had to buy that one whether the girls were coming or not. But it turned out the spray is pretty limp. It’s a toddler spray gun. I suppose the zebra was the tip-off there . . .
Vanity Fair just compiled this excellent guide to good blogs, which I found because my fave blog, Josh Marshall’s Talking Points Memo, mentioned it. I clicked on Idontlikeyouinthatway.com and found this outraged observation about Naomi Campbell’s ridiculously light sentence for assaulting two cops and an airline attendant:
“Here’s the thing. I dare you to get on an airplane right now and act like such a lunatic that the police are called, and when they come, you attack them and have to be physically restrained and thrown out. Not only will you get a taser tan and locked up underneath a prison, but your girlfriend will be sold to a Mexican gang, your dog will be set on fire, and your parents will be turned into Nazi werewolves. If you’re lucky, they won’t build a moat around your kid’s daycare and give his scent to a dragon.”
Now that’s good blog.
My kitchen is coming right along, but the TV was too low for the cabinets, so we took it down and moved the bracket up, and then when we hooked it up, it wouldn’t work. We tried everything. I know it’s not broken, I think it’s just sulking, but I learned my lesson with the SubZero. Once an appliance turns on you, there’s nothing but bad times ahead. So I went out and bought a new TV. Damn good thing I’m not traveling this year because I couldn’t freaking afford it now; my credit card visibly trembled when I swiped it at Best Buy. But I’ll have TV for the house party week after next. I’m having the kind of guests who would get nasty if there was no TV to play movies on. Come to think of it, they’d get nasty if they couldn’t get into the fridge, too. Plus I think Bob is coming back in August, and the thought of him here without TV and with a stubborn fridge . . . no, it’s too awful. It was a necessary purchase. And now I’ll go have my dinner which will be generic peanut butter and stale crackers.
This wasn’t much of a random Sunday. More of a catch-up Sunday. I’m just giddy because I can post pictures and I have a TV that works and a fridge that opens. Simple pleasures are best. And expensive.
Did I mention that I’m a grandmother?
Jenny: Calliope is incredibly beautiful, as all grandchildren are, and you’re going to love being a grandmother. Congratulations!
And while I realize that new appliances can’t compare with new grandbabies, enjoy them, too.
Lynda
Jenny, you don’t need to blog about the refurbishing any more. Flanders and Swann have already said it all for you:
We’re terribly House and Garden
At Number Seven B,
We live in a most amusing mews
Ever so very Contemporary!
We’re terribly House and Garden;
The money that one spends
To make a place that won’t disgrace
Our House and Garden friends!
We planned an uninhibited interior decor,
Curtains made of straw,
We’ve wall-papered the floor!
We don’t know if we like it, but at least we can be sure
There’s no place like home sweet home.
It’s fearfully Maison jardin
At Number Seven B,
We’ve rediscovered the Chandelier
Très très very Contemporary!
We’re terribly House and Garden.
Now at last we’ve got the chance,
The garden’s full of furniture
And the house is full of plants!
Oh, we’re terribly House and Garden
As I think we said before,
But though Seven B is madly gay -
It wouldn’t do for every day -
We actually LIVE in Seven A,
In the house next door!
Full text here: http://www.nyanko.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fas/hat_design.html
(-: My goodness, she’s even more gorgeous than day one! I can imagine how cute she’s going to look a year from now in a toddler pool in your backyard (zebra fencing — I think you’ll need to get that next). Plant some daisies. One-year-olds love daisies. In the swimming pool. With a grandmother behind the camera (-:.
You gots some good wheels right now (-:.
Lucky you about blowing bubbles and not blown-out of proportion head Brats. Callie is beautiful. Do you have steps/stairs to the river? There were sub zeros in the 80’s? Huh! I’ve always had the most inexpensive fridges until now. Love my Whirlpool. Also have an upright freezer that will not let you open immediately after closing it. That is some kind of suction/airlock!
My oldest needs that knit thingy-thing for her chemistry class. LOL
I had a brief love affair with an Amana freezer-on-the-bottom fridge. Alas, we moved abroad a few years after we purchased it and after a few years of it sitting in storage, I sold it to a friend who was moving into a new house. One day I’ll have another…
Bubbles and babies and refrigerators and TVs and beds - what a lot of excitement! How’s the knee?
Glad to know I am not the only one perplexed. I spend a lot of time shaking my head and muttering to myself in grocery stores…who buys this stuff? If gasoline get ever more expensive and we going to fuel ourselves with caffine boosters and run back and forth to the store pushing over-large grocery carts?
Now the pink hoe…that I might buy, nothing like pretty tools to make you want to use them.
Wow! I was going thru baby withdrawal, glad to see pics are working! Just look at her _fingers_!
I like random Sunday, it’s like a dinner of leftovers that taste better the second time around. More flavor or something. Lovely pics.
I knew a pink ho … um hoe, back in the eighties. Looked like a Barbie doll. Tall, slim, blond. She used to play tennis. Little pink and white skirt, tight pink tank-top with boobs bulging over the top, pink sun visor, white tennies with half-socks with the little pink fuzzy ball of wool at the back. Remember those things? Anyway, she loved to flirt with all the guys, married, single, handsome, not so handsome, she didn’t care. She had the full bodypress-squirm-release, down pat.
Last time I saw her she looked like hell. Body was still okay but the face was well-worn. Hoeing is hard hard work, I suppose.
I’m not just saying this to kiss up … Callie is very cute. Like, could-be-a-Disney-baby cute.
I also found Bob in the picture. Did they teach him to disguise himself as a blurry log bit in Ranger School?
First - Callie is absolutely beautiful. Honestly.
Second - Crack F’r Grandmas - HA HA HA HA HA HA
We’re having time writing here at my house and I just read this blog aloud. Great way to break the concentration.
Just for the record, I did not buy the Sub Zero. It came with the house. And it was butt ugly like the rest of the kitchen.
The Whirlpool is a thing of beauty. And it opens.
Gratz on the appliances! A fridge you don’t have to bargain, cajole, or threaten with pot roast is a beautiful thing.
And Callie is getting gorgeouser by the day. I love how her little hands are tucked under her cheek. Squee!
No need to wait for the girls to get there to play with the bubbles. You have the dogs as an excuse. Most dogs (in my experience) go crazy chasing bubbles if you blow some at them.
Inflatable pools come all compressed in little tiny boxes these days. It would have been no problem to bring one, but hey - knock yourself out. Which you did. And you’ll have all the stuff for when Callie comes to visit. Bubbles!!!
Can’t wait to see the TV. And the fridge. And you, too, of course.
Hee!
Bob looks like he is almost having fun down there by the river. Probably picking out cache report locations.
Have fun with the kitchen renovation and go ahead and get Callie toddler stuff. She’ll use it eventually. And please don’t stop doing the proud grandma thing. In case you can’t tell, we are eating it up with a spoon.
I’m not one of those people who believes all babies are beautiful, but your granddaughter is gorgeous. Congratulations!
I have my eye on a lovely bottom freezer, french door LG with sliding plastic bins in the freezer so the cold air doesn’t fall out, the full width compartment in the fridge that’ll take big deli platters and sheet cakes, and an exterior ice dispenser. I fondle it at the store, and it whispers such sweet promises. If my bottom freezer Amana would just DIE, but no, I have to have a husband who can actually fix things . . .
And, about that baby, wouldn’t you just love to have a camera on a live feed internet connection so you could peek at her all the time? She does have a mom who could whip that into being in fractions of seconds . . .
An old refrigerator came with the first house Hilde and I had. It was quickly nicknamed “The Botulism Special” and almost as quickly replaced. (Excepting the house, first thing we ever bought on credit. A wallet-threatening $10 per month.)
(And the scary part: back then, $10/mo really was a threat to the household budget.)
Not sure if this is too late, but just this week I ran headfirst into the WordPress media uploading problem, and was able to fix it. Chances are that the issue you’re facing can be fixed as well, using one of the solutions presented in the official WP support page on this issue. If you’re interested in getting the flash uploader working again, that’ll most likely help you do it. FYI.
I finally have internet again (long ugly story that I may have to blog about) so I am playing catch up. Callie is just so amazingly beautiful that I couldn’t leave without commenting on it… And the pink hoe–are you serious? Pink?! Wow…. Truth is, I think my oldest daughter would buy the whole set if she was on her own and needed gardening tools. I have already seen pink appliances that I will have to get her when she moves out–did you know that Kitchen Aid makes it’s big mixer in pink? Yep. But pink gardening tools–guess they will look nice with the pink flamingoes in the front yard…