Jennifer Crusie's Blog: Argh Ink

While Bob toys with Jennifer Aniston, I am doing construction/ vet/ recuperation/ upholstery/ fiction writing. And occasionally surfing the web when my lungs start to wheeze or my head starts to explode. One of my favorite sites is LOLcats (because I’m easily amused and I like cute animals; sue me) where you can find pictures of bobcats:

more cat pictures

And then there’s LOLdogs, and political humor, and Graph Jams. Yes, graphs. This is my fave because it’s so helpful. No really:

more graph humor and song chart memes

There is something so elegant about that. And useful. And funny. All my favorite things.

And if the above websites weren’t enough time wasters for you, here’s one I retreat to when I’ve had it with the world. Kind of like basket weaving. Without baskets.

And now, off to clean the kitchen. By which I mean, “pack up half the stuff in there for Goodwill because nobody needs twelve mixing bowls.” I’ve had some of that stuff for so long, it’s vintage. And then I’ll clean the coffee pot. Because Bob’s coming on Thursday, assuming he can tear himself away from Jennifer.

Back later, maybe with pictures, definitely with Bob stories since he’ll be helping me put together a couch. Bob and I with tools. God, I hope I can post pictures by then.

I found the iPhone. I was looking for my shoes which are always on top of a table or dresser since Milton has a major shoe fetish. I found five black shoes, no mates, on the floor, and I checked the top of a cabinet and there was the iPhone, its little black face blending into the walnut wood. I found my shoes later in the bathroom, but I had to dig out a different pair to give my class on scene at OVRWA so if anybody there looked at my feet and said, “WTF?” I had good reason.

I’m trying to stay off my knee, but I have to get this stuff shifted so it’s shift, lay down with some Aleve, shift, lay down again. Slow going. While I’m down, I’m looking at cabinets and countertops on the internet and wondering when it became impossible to do a kitchen at a reasonable price. As my pal Deb Dixon once e-mailed me, “What are cabinets made out of? GOLD?” So I’m going the reasonably priced route for the cabinets but I’ve fallen in love with a countertop that is only made in California. Recycled glass. It’s amazing. And evidently expensive; isn’t green supposed to be good for the economy or something? I would show you a picture but @#$^& WordPress did an update and now I can’t figure out how to upload. So I’ll e-mail Lani and she’ll tell me. Stay tuned.

Then Bob e-mailed and said, “Happy Birthday!” My birthday is in September. His is October 21. Because I remember these things. After that he harassed me about the Supernatural DVDs. Then I talked to my daughter and my mother and shifted some more stuff.

Basically my life is shifting, wheezing, painkillers, e-mail, and writing books. But I’m thinking by June, I’ll have filled that damn dumpster and I can go back to just living and writing. Like a normal person. With an iPhone.

Must go shift some more. If I clear the hall, I can take a bath. It’s the little things that count.

The pantry walls are down, although the studs are still up in one wall until the contractor gets the header up.

Still haven’t found the iPhone or the camera recharger but have high hopes for finding SOMETHING soon.

Racked up my knee again which is slowing me down seriously. The first time I screwed it up was in November at that beach house, but I thought it was okay. Turns out fifty thousand trips up and down stairs carrying big boxes of books will make it go out again. Argh.

Working on new book. Very happy.

First chapter of Dogs and Goddesses is up over at the D&G website because we’re done, we’re done, we’re done. Until the copy edits.

Milton is barking at something in the hall. I have no idea what, but he’s been going for a long time so I’d better go see. He has great fixity of purpose, our Milton.

So after I wrote “I have thirty-seven drafts” in the comments of the last post, I thought, “What are those drafts?” So I went and looked and basically, Argh Ink has a closet full of junk. So in the spirit of the massive house cleaning I’m now doing in reality, and because Veronica and I were really comfortable on the bed, I cleaned out my draft closet.

When I opened the door, here’s what fell out:

Virtually Me. And You.
Kitchen Unconfidential.
A Rant.
I’m Easily Amused.
On the Road: We’re Walking, We’re Walking
The Zen of the Ones
Random Sunday
The Experienced Writer
Robo Cat and the Poop Cheer
The High Cost of Hating Our Bodies
The New York Times on Romantic Comedy in Film or All Those Girls’ Movies Look Alike To Me
It Is What It Is Isn’t.
(no title)
My Night with Ambien
My Giddy Week
Brain Hurts
Review: The Cake Mix Cookie Book
What Peace There Is in Silence
Twelve Days of Emmeline
Differently Creative: Why I’m Annoyed with Project Runway
The Image Rant
It’s Time for a Change, But Not That Much
My Lunch with Julia
More E-mail
How We Designed That Website
Page 123
Embellishment
The Blog Bug
So Where Do You Get Your Ideas?: The Author Interview
Review: Madagascar
Purses
The Agnes Collage
Computer Solitaire
The Short Story: It’s Not Dead Yet
Reviews: Tales of the Vampire and Fray
(no title)
The Ones and Me

I knew what about half of those were about. (What’s all the stuff with ones, anyway?) So I did what I do with the stuff in my closet, sorted it into stuff to throw away, stuff I’m not sure about, and stuff I’m keeping

Stuff to be thrown out:

“On the Road: We’re Walking, We’re Walking”: This one was about the day with Dale, which I swear I did already. The Red Thing post. Oh, well.

“The Zen of the Ones”: A post on Amazon one ratings. Then I started a better one. This gets deleted.

“(no title)”: A picture labeled “bubble bath.” No idea where I was going with that.

“My Night with Ambien”: A night I had insomnia. Why did I think that would be interesting?

“My Giddy Week”: About a week I took off from writing. Completely worthless post.

“Robo Cat and the Poop Cheer”: House training and litter boxes. It’s kind of bleah. So probably not.

“Review: The Cake Mix Cookie Book”: I really didn’t like this book, so why post a review of it? I like the idea of doing reviews, just of things that are good.

“Differently Creative: Why I’m Annoyed with Project Runway”: I started this because I didn’t like the way the people on PR were treating Elisa the hippie chick, but then I wandered off. It’s really hard to sustain annoyance with a reality show.

“More E-mail”: A blip about Bob expecting me to answer fan mail for us. Not interesting.

The Agnes Collage”: The book is going into paperback this summer. Moving on . . .

“The Short Story: It’s Not Dead Yet”: An essay I started after I judged the Writer’s Digest short story contest and was appalled. I’m over it now.

Stuff That Might Make It Someday:

“Kitchen Unconfidential”: Remodeling my kitchen. With pictures of the demo. On the one hand, why would anybody care about my kitchen? On the other hand, pictures of demo.

“Virtually Me. And You.,” “A Rant,” “The Image Rant”: This topic really bugs me but I haven’t thought it through yet. Also, every time anybody says anything in the slightest bit controversial, everybody in the blogosphere becomes the Church Lady and shakes a finger, and while there are things I care enough about to endure that, I’m not sure this one is worth the virtual blood and ink. Plus I haven’t thought it through enough yet.

“The High Cost of Hating Our Bodies”: This one was sparked by an article I read. It’s an idea, but it’s not fleshed out yet. So maybe not.

“The New York Times on Romantic Comedy in Film or All Those Girls’ Movies Look Alike To Me”: Another blog sparked by an article. I need to focus this more and I’m not sure I care enough.

“It Is What It Is Isn’t.”: A rant about something I’ve written about before. No idea if I’ll ever think this one through again.

“Brain Hurts”: About pounding through a first draft. Maybe I’ll finish it as I pound through AKMG.

“What Peace There Is in Silence”: A picture of the dogs sleeping. How many dog pictures can one blog take before it explodes from over-pet?

“It’s Time for a Change, But Not That Much”: About change and publishing. Not sure I have anything new to say there.

“Page 123″: This was a meme; turn to page 123 of any book and read it. I’m intrigued by it, so maybe I’ll do something with it.

“Embellishment”: This one’s a really old draft about embellishment of people and things and fiction. I’ll probably think it through and finish it.

“The Blog Bug”: Essay on my blog addiction, as in making them, not reading them. Maybe, maybe not.

“So Where Do You Get Your Ideas?: The Author Interview”: There’s good stuff in here, but as Krissie pointed out, it’ll just annoy the hell out of interviewers, so is it worth it? Probably not.

“Review: Madagascar”: This is sort of done but it doesn’t say much aside from reviewing the movie. So I need to look at it again and decide.

“(no title)”: Pictures from LOL cats, for an essay on the site. See also “I’m Easily Amused.” So I’ll probably do something with this eventually.

Stuff to be finished in the future:

“Random Sunday” Some of the stuff here is pretty old, but since it’s just Random Thoughts, I’ll probably finish it and put it up some Sunday.

“The Experienced Writer”: This one was sparked by an article in Time on experience. I’ll go back to it eventually.

“Twelve Days of Emmeline”: This was a false start because I switched to D&G, but I’ll do this one shortly.

“My Lunch with Julia”: A great lunch I had with an old college pal; her book is out soon so I’ll get this one together in a couple of weeks.

“How We Designed That Website”: We’re revamping the website and I’m designing a new home page for it (which Mollie will program) and even better, she’s going to set it up so I can update the site whenever I get the urge. Which is good. So this one will go up later this summer. Probably.

“Purses”: I love purses and I want to do an essay on them. So I started one. Must do more research.

“Reviews: Tales of the Vampire and Fray”: I’ll definitely finish this one. Joss Whedon is a god.

“The Ones and Me”: Why I always look at the one-star reviews on Amazon first when I’m looking for a book.

That takes me down to 26 drafts. I’ll swing back in a month or so and cut a bunch more in that middle group. Just like cleaning a closet. Which I must go do now.

I promise not to blog on it.