The Poetry of Bob
Nov212007
I’ve been pedal to the metal for so long this month, I haven’t even stopped to breathe, so when I realized I hadn’t entered Agnes in the Ritas, I went flipping through the e-mails Bob had sent me to find the one with his RWA membership number on it, moving at the speed of light because I had to get back to Dogs and Goddesses. But the funny thing was, as I flipped through literally hundreds of e-mails, they started to look like poetry. What had been annoying–would it kill him to write a whole paragraph?–became Art.
And so I present the Poetry of Bob, all complete e-mails, in their entirely, punctuated and spaced just as he sent them to me, the Poet Laureate of the Green Berets or, as he told me in one e-mail:
that’s me
a senstive soul
a poet-warrior
They’re really beautiful in their brevity and complexity:
I am
you. Well. who knows.
Full of paradox and rhythm:
not crashing yet
I said before I crash
Geez
Full of imagery:
blue paint
blue carpet
not good
Not afraid of non-sequiturs:
you and the vampires
i’m going to bed
Accepting of life’s reversals:
perhaps
the system failed
Sometimes epic:
relax
it’ll be fine
we’ll get rejected
end up living under a bridge
the river will flooddoomed
Sometimes terse:
yepper
you win
What I love about these is that they’re entire e-mails, and he put the space breaks in where they are here. He just does it naturally. Of course I have ten thousand more that are bitching about publishing and making fun of me, but the fact that these gems are in there, too, well, it just gives me faith in the poetry in the man’s soul.
Bob. Poet-Warrior. The man who wrote:
Sounds good.
But we’re still doomed.
Doomed I tell you.
and
Book done yet?
You read them here first.
Addendum: It occurs to me that I may not have myself clear:
Bob does not think he’s writing poetry.
Bob is just answering my e-mails.
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40 Comments to 'The Poetry of Bob'
On November 22, 2007 at 12:38 am Louise said...
It’s like a whole new form of Haiku. Bobku. Equally, as complex, just a different drum.
Different universe.
My son writes sms messages with similar brevity, obscurity and panache. So that I can’t resist saving them.
On November 22, 2007 at 12:51 am Jenny said...
Bobku. I like it.
I e-mailed him to let him know I’d blogged about him before somebody else told him and got this back:
Really, he’s a genius.
On November 22, 2007 at 1:02 am Brooke Brannon said...
I would write haiku
in response, except it is
ten o’clock at night
and besides I hear
punctuation is frowned on
in haiku. So lame!
On November 22, 2007 at 1:14 am Jenny said...
Oh, lovely.
Does this mean
the comments will be
all poetry?
On November 22, 2007 at 1:44 am Jan D said...
Poetry. For me, the verse
is blank.
As for Bobku?
Not for me.
Just you.
On November 22, 2007 at 2:11 am robena grant said...
seasons of poetry
valiant attempts persist
boy creates amusement
On November 22, 2007 at 2:31 am Stephen Blackmoore said...
This may truly be the most disturbing thing I’ve seen in at least… 12 hours? I wonder if he can do Emily Dickinson?
Because I would not stop for Bob
He kindly stopped for me
Sung, of course, to the tune of Deep In The Heart of Texas.
Screw with the capitalization and he could be another ee cummings.
On November 22, 2007 at 4:22 am Kira said...
I have a coworker who sends me emails like that. More words, but same rhythm.
It could be a new form of writing. Like poetry, beyond my abilities.
Publish it. I predict – many dissertations in its future.
On November 22, 2007 at 6:08 am colognegrrl said...
I’ll take Bobku
anytime
as opposed to the lengthy, strangely-worded elaborations I need to read for my teaching but cannot understand.
On November 22, 2007 at 6:33 am francois said...
You see, this is why my Mum thinks most people that write email are rude because they don’t write it like a letter.
Yours sincerely,
Ms. Francois
PS. Bob as a member of RWA is the funniest thing I’ve heard today.
On November 22, 2007 at 10:22 am Courtney De said...
Bobku: the Book
Sign me up
I laughed a lot
Now I’m gonna eat turkey
till I rot
Happy Thanksgiving!
On November 22, 2007 at 10:29 am Brooke Brannon said...
Thanksgiving again
Just pour me full of gravy
And then let me nap.
On November 22, 2007 at 11:51 am wendy roberts said...
I took Bob’s road less travelled
And that has made no difference…
On November 22, 2007 at 12:46 pm McB said...
Bobku.
Deep
Thoughtful
Profound
Succinct
Provoking
Well shod
Bobku.
On November 22, 2007 at 2:02 pm Bob said...
I work very hard on my email replies
really
On November 22, 2007 at 2:18 pm colognegrrl said...
Bob’s Bobkus
can leave even Confucius
confused
On November 22, 2007 at 2:41 pm Mary the CB said...
Bobkus is not bupkis
It’s much of a muchness
With haiku and suchness
It’s hard to write Bobku. I thought Haiku was tricky. This has to have not only lucidity, but Bobbidity. (No, I know that word didn’t exist 4 minutes ago, but all the same I bet you know what it means.)
Bob makes it look so easy!
On November 22, 2007 at 3:25 pm Yvonne Lindsay said...
The answer
to Bobku is simple
Bob’s
a
man
The question
now that is
difficult
On November 22, 2007 at 3:39 pm BCB said...
To see Him and Her
win a Rita for Agnes
oh that would be
On November 22, 2007 at 3:59 pm Louis said...
Bobku
The softly walking
genius of
short e-mails.
more power to Bobku
On November 22, 2007 at 9:40 pm McB said...
And what everyone doesn’t know is that Louis doesn’t even have to try; his comments just have that natural … what was that word, Mary? Bobidity.
On November 22, 2007 at 11:38 pm DownUnderGal said...
Bob – LTD poetry.
I’ll buy it.
On November 23, 2007 at 9:38 am Mary Stella said...
Brevity is the soul of wit. – Shakespeare
In e-mail there is poetry.
Bobku — Because more words would draw fire?
On November 23, 2007 at 11:48 am me said...
Mary Stella – LOL
Well, it’s short poetry because a lot of the words are classified and on a need-to-know basis.
On November 23, 2007 at 12:13 pm Mary Stella said...
I just reread the title of Jenny’s blog post: “The Poetry of Bob”. It reminds me of “The Tao of Pooh”. Now I’m cracking up at work. On one hand, Bob could think, “Great. There goes my Green Beret image. Poet-warrior reduced to comparison with Pooh: A Bear of Very Little Brain.” On the other hand, Bob, there are worse comparisons. Pooh’s much loved. He’s a GAB.
I’m laughing way more than I should over my own silliness. Maybe I’m on tryptophane overload.
On November 23, 2007 at 1:22 pm Cherry Honey said...
I love that Bob does not understand the utter Bobness of Bob. Part of what makes him a GAM.
On November 23, 2007 at 2:56 pm Mary Stella said...
It’s hard to write Bobku. I thought Haiku was tricky. This has to have not only lucidity, but Bobbidity. (No, I know that word didn’t exist 4 minutes ago, but all the same I bet you know what it means.)
Blue-painted room, portents of doom
He says he bought new shoes.
Put ‘em together and what do you get?
Bibbidi, Bobbidity, Bobkus!
On November 23, 2007 at 5:20 pm talpianna said...
Bobku are not new.
“Found poetry” is the term.
But he does it best.
On November 23, 2007 at 6:36 pm Kathleen said...
Elegant
Concise
yada
yada
yada
On November 23, 2007 at 7:10 pm sara c said...
was lousy day
now am smiling
On November 24, 2007 at 1:39 pm Jenny A, Cherry Harpy said...
Yes, yes, bobku is wonderful, Bob is wonderful. Email is good too.
But— let’s get back to the subject here: did you get Agnes entered? If ever a book deserved a RITA, that one does.
On November 24, 2007 at 5:21 pm ZaZa said...
Question for Jenny.
Could you email me (zlamarr at gmail dot com)? I wanted to ask your advice/opinion on something relating to the upcoming RWA Nationals.
Sorry to do it this way, but I wasn’t sure how else to contact you. Thanks!
On November 24, 2007 at 6:34 pm DebraG said...
The Zen
of email
byte-ing wit
Humor
Har
On November 25, 2007 at 9:06 am Lori J. said...
Speaking of Bob, he’s looking for a placeholder for Ethan in Wild Ride. I’d like to suggest:
Richard Roxborough for Ethan. Here’s his pic:
http://flickr.com/photos/tostie14/34086097/
Jenny & Bob, good luck with the Ritas. If you don’t win, that thud sound you hear will be my jaw hitting the floor.
On November 25, 2007 at 7:29 pm shane said...
I suddenly fear emailing you.
On November 25, 2007 at 7:54 pm Jenny said...
Everyone does.
Cuts down on my inbox.
On November 25, 2007 at 11:56 pm JulieB said...
doing Nano
next year?
short form.
On November 26, 2007 at 7:32 pm GatorPerson said...
I can do a proof.
I can find a goof
In your proof.
I can’t do a haiku.
Can you?
Oh, poo(f).
On November 27, 2007 at 8:46 pm Micki said...
Tapping into the rhythms
of the universe
With
one
simple
keyboard.
I like it! A few words with a lot of echoes and connections, rather than a lot of words belaboring one point.
On November 27, 2007 at 10:14 pm Julie said...
Okay. I have to know.
Does this mean that Bob will be buying a black turtleneck and beret, and going out on the road with a jazz combo to tour small venues across our nation with his poetry stylings?
Why am I suddenly flashing on the movie “So I Married An Axe Murderer”?
-J
“Harriet. Harri—et. Heartless harbinger of haggis.”