On the Road: Random Down Under
Cheetos in Australia are called Cheese Twisties. They’re excellent.
We went to the Sydney Wildlife something or other and saw amazing things like the frilled lizard and this guy:
They drive on the other side of the road here–I know, duh–and it makes turning a corner a really exciting experience.
They sell Krispy Kremes in the Sydney airport.
Also at the Sydney Wildlife something we went to: wallabies. They looked so much like Wolfie, except not, that I got homesick.
I found luggage I loved in the airport, chartreuse and eggplant leather, but I couldn’t figure out a way to get it on the plane since it was too big to be carry-on size. Terrible disappointment.
Anne Gracie and Joanna Graves are goddesses.
They had fascinating insects–no, really–at the Wildlife thingy, and on the wall near one of them, it said: “Weird truth: During mating, a female praying mantis may bit the male’s head off. Incredibly, the male will continue to mate.” Krissie and I couldn’t figure out what was incredible about that.
I’m liking this idea of “tea.” I just called it “snacks” at home, but the idea of scheduling snacks appeals to me.
Also at the Sydney Wildlife whatever: Koalas. Close enough to touch, fast asleep (twenty hours of sleep a day) holding their babies:
Okay, I looked at the sweater on the stuffed wallaby I bought and it says Sydney Wildlife World, a truly fabulous place. Especially the wallaby cliffs:
And speaking of groups in the wild domesticated, here are the Australian romance writers, or at least some of the ones that came to my PAN lecture:
Melynda gave me a box of assorted Cadbury miniatures, like the Hershey miniatures we have in the states except I didn’t know what any of them were. So every one was a surprise. Thank you very much, Melynda!
Australian money is beautiful:
I’m sick as a dog in New Zealand, but the people are just lovely.
Krissie bought a book in the airport bookstore because it had an Asian hero. When we got off the plane in Auckland, she practically threw it at me. “One kiss, no tongue,” she said, incensed. The people standing next to her took a step to the right.
Marty Crump, the radio interviewer from this morning, said he was just a dumb Kiwi, but he knew that if you wanted a bit of a cuddle at night, you had to start in the morning. There should be more dumb Kiwis like Marty in the world, that’s what I think.
Inkgrrl wrote and said that everyone who had come back to the states from the Australia conference was sick with flu and she knew I always got sick when I travelled and what did I need her to get me when I got to LA? And I thought, I don’t always get sick when I travel, but I do get sick when I’m stressed and there are people in the States right now stressing me–not in Australia and New Zealand–so I have decided to ignore everything although the urge to quote one of my favorite movies, Cookie’s Fortune, is almost overwhelming: “What is WRONG with you people?” The world would run so much smoother if everyone would just do what I want.
Krissie enchanted the Australians when she sang the first verse of an Australian folk song to them:
Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree
Merry, merry king of the bush is he
Laugh, Kookaburra; laugh, Kookaburra
How gay your life must be
Then she sang the second verse and stunned them into silence:
Kookaburra sits on the railroad track
Along comes the train and knocks him flat
Die, kookaburra, die, kookaburra
That’s the end of that.
That second verse sounds like something the bloody Americans made up.
Giving the Sex and Violence talk with Krissie instead of Bob brings a whole new dimension to the topic. Bob never offers to tell how often he and his significant other have sex.
There’s a discount shoe place in the lower level of the hotel and I’m too sick to go look, that’s how sick I am.
New Zealand Romance Writers: Absolutely lovely people, except they encourage Krissie. Sigh.
I have gotten exactly zero work done since I got on the plane in Cincinnati. I have to stop traveling and concentrate on the stories. But we’ve met such wonderful people here Down Under, that I’ll remember it with joy forever. And Krissie’s going to move here, probably for the rugby teams which she described at one lecture as “man meat.” Well, you had to be there.
AGMs in Australia and New Zealand last fifteen minutes. I love it here.
The weight of the future is now bearing down on us. Agnes and Lost Girls are coming out in just a couple of days, and nobody knows what’s going to happen. “Lightning coming in over the water,” Bob says, but then he’s never been much for the glass half full approach. But there does seem to be a gathering on the horizon. The thunder rolls. It rolls a six. (I love Terry Pratchett.)
Those of you coming to the booksignings next week, brace yourself. Since I’m sick, Bob says he’ll take care of everything. “I’ll be charming,” he says. No wonder there’s lightning over the water. Or as he said in his last e-mail, “plagues and tidal waves and legions of locusts await.” It’s hard to choose between my speaking partners, Anne “Man Meat” Stuart and Bob “We’re Doomed” Mayer. I think I’ll keep them both.
Oh, Jenny, bring back all the Cadbury chocolate you can. They don’t have Coconut Rough or the one with hokey pokey in it here in the US. Or the kiwifruit-filled kind, either. I don’t htink they even have fruit and nut here. Sigh.
Give New Zealand a big old kiss for me. I miss the mountains and ocean and rainbows desperately.
Oh, and the tea trolley! My favorite part of the morning and afternoon was hearing the tinkle jingle of the cart. Everyone would stop what they were doing and stand around for a cup of tea, a bickie, and a chat. Very civilized. And tasty.
You’ve got to love an animal that spends 5/6 of its life napping and cuddling.
Also: tea. Wonderful! I always called it snacks too. So nice of the British to make a specific time of day for it.
Hugs, Jenny. I hope you slept on the plane and are feeling a little better. You and Bob have a Whack of CherryBombs (I think that’s what we decided our collective noun was) descending on your book signings, and you know what that means. /;+)
Maybe, in this case, those comfy seats and the long flight are a good thing. Sleeping like a log for many hours could make you feel human again.
If I ever meet Krissie in person, we’ll have to have a discussion about Asian men. Ahem.
Oh, the luggage! Chartreuse and eggplant? I bet if you’d looked pitiful, like you were going to cry, they’d have found a way to get it on the plane for you. What brand was it? I want some. Love chartreuse, love it. Since a wee tot, when I had a chartreuse washcloth that I slept with, I have always loved chartreuse. Sorry, off topic color squee.
Jenny-despite the being sick part, it sounds like you’re having an excellent adventure in the land Down Under. Maybe the long journey home will allow you to rest and recover.
Rox-If you have a World Market near you (and you probably do, go to: http://www.worldmarket.com), I know you can get fruit & nut Cadbury (I work there). Coconut ough and Kiwi, not so much. Sorry.
Are the whack of CB’s the plague, tidal wave or the locusts? Hmmmmm and he knows we are coming. Poor sick Jenny doesn’t have a clue yet. We’ll bring Kleenex and chocolate.
Oh no, sorry about the dreaded lurgy. Ink girl is right - I think half the Aussies that were in Sydney came down with it too.
So pleased you both made it to the wildlife place and saw some real Australian animals (as opposed to our men).
Yes, thank you Krispy Kremes. I bought two dozen at Sydney airport and took them home with me to Brisbane as we’re deprived in backward Queensland. My children are okay with mummy and daddy going away for 5 days as long as there are Krispy Kremes at the end.
Twisties - god I love Twisties. Bought a packet of them at the aiport too. You can get chicken Twisties also but the cheese are much better.
Hope you are better soon and girding your loins for the plagues of locusts.
Thank you for the time of our lives.
I should have read this in the morning. I’d have had a smile on my face all day.
You know, I never liked reading romances before you. I still don’t like them a lot now… unless your name is on the cover. I think it must be your sense of humor–it’s so, well, twisted. Like my friends, and the real people I know.
I guess that makes me a fan. Waiting on Agnes.
Chicken twisties? The mind boggles.
I don’t worry about the plagues of locusts. That’s what I have Bob for. “Locusts, Bob.” “On it.”
LOL
and Krissie will ask how their mating season is going, so really, you are covered.
hope you feel better
zaza: i’ll join you and Krissie in that discussion. *sigh*
and i’ve never seen wallabies before. smaller than i thought. but the first picture has very kind eyes, you can tell.
“Cheetos in Australia are called Cheese Twisties.”
Really? We have Cheetos in Oz too, I’d always assumed Cheetos in the US were the same as Cheetos in Oz. You learn something new every day.
LOL OH - you got to respect an insect that can mate headless!! Nothing like that biological drive.
Gotta respect a man who isn’t fazed by locusts either. Gotta love, “bring em on” Bob. Kind of like Shane. Shane is “that guy” (shameless Die Hard 4.0 quote). Dang, Bruce Willis gets older and balder and….sexier. Dang!
Ah, much becomes clear now. Cheetos = Wotsits, aka cheesy balls. My husband never knows whether to smirk or be appalled whenever I take a trip to Asda to buy a big packet of cheesy balls.
wow you and krissie had such a good time, and you found krispy kreme! if you think bob would wear a small silver cherry bomb, let me know, i can send it, maybe in time for the new tour?
Love this post. Love that you can write about real stuff and Chocolate while suffering from pestilence. Bob is accustomed to biohazards and locusts. It’s all good.
P.S. I think ‘Tea’ is the reason home baking was invented by women who were homemakers. Scones, cakes, fruit bread, crumpets - you get the idea, both for themselves and the kids coming home from school. Tea. No coffee allowed, sorry Bob. Morning coffee. Afternoon tea is an ingrained part of our culture.
Porcelain tea cups, milk or lemon, india or china? Toasted crumpets in winter, scones on the lawn with home made strawberry jam in summer. Long may it continue. Is this to be a new Jenny tradition?
Hope you feel better soon - Ray-Anne
And lamingtons, Ray-Anne. I know Rosie said we stole them from NZ (a little cross Tasman rivalry - they’re still mad about Russell) but hey, aren’t those suckers good, Jenny?
I’m sorry your sick. I hate being sick.
what lovely pictures. Sounds like a lovely time. Driving on the other side of road always freaks me out.
Get better soon.
Looking forward to Agnes.
Ah, Jenny. So sorry you are sick. But don’t worry, the whack (it works on so many levels) doesn’t attack until the end of the month so you have time to recuperate. Also for a change you can relax and be entertained by fans rather than having to do the heavy lifting yourself. We are too entertaining. Uh huh!
Koalas - one of my favorite possessions is a stuffed koala and baby that my dad bought me when I was a teenager. Still have it, that’s how muchit means to me. And yes, gotta love anything that spends all its time cuddling and sleeping. I think I’m coming back as one in my next life.
And speaking of heavy lifting, up there somewhere, bugs are the other good reason to keep men around. Glad to see Bob is willing to fulfill his duty.
You don’t know what’s going to happen with Agnes and Lost Girls? Geez, we do.
Jenny, glad you had fun before you became ill. Take care of yourself. Sounds like it was a hoot traveling with Krissie. I’m envious, Australia and New Zealand are high on my lists of places I want to visit.
What? You couldn’t fit a suitcase inside a suitcase?
Well, even though you’re sick (hope you feel better today) this is a very enjoyable post, it made me smile.
I didn’t get sick at all on the trip or the flight home (last year I came down with a bug that was very hard to shake off.)
Love the pics and the humor and yep, you’ve got to love the Praying Mantis and the Black Widow Spider, those women are tough broads.
I stand corrected - stress makes you sick, travel gives you opportunities to photograph wallabies who look like they want their chins scritched. Got it
Jenny, what are AGMs. And is 15 minutes longer or shorter than here (presumably)? I am, as is so often the case, clueless.
I think AGM = Annual General Meeting but Wikipedia has a list of all sorts of other things it could mean.
They’re the general housekeeping meetings of organizations. RWA’s usually go for hours in part because we’re so contentious. Fifteen minutes is excellent.
Flying out today, leaving Sunday night, arriving Sunday noon. Then sleeping until my body doesn’t care what time it is.
Just walked away from Agnes at Borders. It may have been the hardest thing I’ve ever done! At least I know where I will be able to get one on Tuesday. It is a gorgeous cover. Love the bullet holes!
You’re very welcome for the chocolates, Jenny. They were well-deserved, to say the least. Sorry to hear you’re unwell. Hope you feel better posthaste.
Terry Pratchett is fantastic, isn’t he? Have you read The Last Continent? Said continent is none other than Terry’s version of the land of Oz–need I say the book’s hilarious, if not as rich as some of the others. I adore Small Gods and Monstrous Regiment.
Meant to say too that your discussion about houses in romances struck a chord with me. I did independent study in romance fiction during my last semester of my undergraduate degree, and analysed Manderley’s role in Rebecca in an essay for one item of assessment. OK, so there’s debate about whether Rebecca is an anti-romance, but that’s a whole other story.
All the best with your new books!
McB’s comment gave me a quick shot of Agnes working for the Cellar.
Feel better. Have a slug of tea and a shot of lemonade and a small portion of the time that heals all.
People keep saying they’ve seen the books in stores already, but my local B&N is not admitting to having them. Next week, they say. I want the books, and I want them to count. I’m not sure there’s a borders around here. Used to be quite a few bookstores, not seeing them any more.
Hey Jenny, hope your flight home was uneventful and relaxing. We loved having you here in New Zealand and yeah, it’s a huge shame you didn’t get to visit the discount shoe store downstairs. Not to worry, though, Trish Morey and I did get there and got the best two pairs of shoes for $20! All the best with the booksignings next week.
I want Krissie.
Krissie has it right - rugby teams are man meat. Yum. My sister did a tour of Australia and New Zealand and brought back a picture of a river of chocolate from inside the Cadbury factory. I asked how she refrained herself from jumping in head first.
So sorry you’re sick, I hope you feel better soon.