The Romance Writer’s Novel’s Fabulous Title
Jul132007
Titles, like covers, are a marketing tool. That seems wrong, the title should be the author’s choice, encapsulating the theme of the book, but it really is one of the things that makes readers pull books off sheves, so when marketing says, “that won’t sell,” I roll with the changes. Welcome to Temptation started out as Hot Fleshy Thighs, but Jen told me they’d never get it in the catalogs, so I changed it (that was seven years ago, before the erotica revolution; it might fly now). My title for Tell Me Lies was Frog Point Wallow; yeah, that was bad. The key is to come up with a snappy title that sells the book while representing it: Faking It, Fast Women, Bet Me, Don’t Look Down, and Agnes and the Hitman were all my (or our) titles. The worst ones that were ever handed to me were Manhunting and What the Lady Wants. Okay, Manhunting had been Keeping Kate which was a lousy title for that book, but What the Lady Wants had been Whatever Maybelle Wants, which I love to this day. What the Lady Wants is just . . . wrong. And they nixed the Maybelle title because it made the heroine sound selfish. Unlike What the Lady Wants . . .
It’s okay, I’m over it.
But I digress. Titles are marketing. So I was reading the Walden’s Romance Bestseller list yesterday and noticed this trend in category romance titles:
THE FUTURE KING’S PREGNANT MISTRESS
CEO’S SCANDALOUS AFFAIR
THE BOSS’S DEMAND
THE PRINCE’S ULTIMATE DECEPTION
THE MILLIONAIRE’S BOSS’S BABY
TAKEN: THE SPANIARD’S VIRGIN
THE SICILIAN’S RED-HOT REVENGE
That seven out of the top ten bestselling titles with a possessive. On the other hand, the single title romance list had titles like The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever, Scent of Darkness, and Web of Love. Would a category editor have changed those to Miss Miranda Cheever’s Secret Diaries, Darkness’s Scent, and Love’s Web? Why does the apostrophe sound so . . . uh, low class and the preposition so hoity toity? Do these titles sound not quite so cringe-worthy:
THE PREGNANT MISTRESS OF THE FUTURE KING
THE SCANDALOUS AFFAIR OF CLEO
THE DEMAND OF THE BOSS
THE ULTIMATE DECEPTION OF THE PRINCE
THE BABY OF THE BOSS OF THE MILLIONAIRE
THE VIRGIN OF THE SPANIARD IS TAKEN
THE RED-HOT REVENGE OF THE SICILIAN
Nope, still cringe-worthy. In fact they may be worse this way. These are National Enquirer titles with promises of tabloid excitement–a pregnant king’s mistress, we’ve got the pictures!!!–mini-synopses with the good parts highlighted, so going for the fancy preposition is just swanning around. And they must be good marketing–again these were seven of the top ten category sellers at Waldens–and they’re definitely better than those one-word interchangeable titles like Splendid and Ravished and Forever, but still, there’s something reductive there. There are good authors on that list and I’m wondering what they thought when they were handed those titles, although for all I know they came up with them. Nah, those were handed to them. Which made me realize, if I were writing Manhunting and What the Lady Wants now, I’d probably have ended up with The Management Consultant’s Handyman’s Summer Quickieand The Private Detective’s Runaway Heiress’s Secret.
Okay, now that I look at it, those might have been better than Manhunting and What the Lady Wants There’s a certain lure to those titles. It really is the mini-synopsis on the cover.
So Bet Me would be Wagered: The Business Seminar Leader’s Actuary’s Virtue.
I’m getting into this.
Tell Me Lies would be The Accounant’s Art Teacher’s Daughter. (Maybe I should start choosing more glamorous occupations for my characters.)
The Green Beret’s Movie Director’s Ex-Husband’s Revenge
The Supernatural Sisters’ True Loves in Captivity
The Food Columnist’s Hitman’s Wedding Surprise.
Doing my own books is boring so let’s try the classics:
The Second Sister’s Proud Mistake
The Ship Captain’s Whale’s Revenge
Branded: The Adulterous Wife’s Not-So-Secret Baby
Really. Try this at home. It’s addictive. I’d do more but I have to get back to The Hat-Maker’s Lawyer’s Ghostly Possession and Risen: The Ancient History Professor’s Divine Roommate.
I’m warning you now, you won’t be able to stop.
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36 Comments to 'The Romance Writer’s Novel’s Fabulous Title'
On July 14, 2007 at 10:16 am me said...
OMB! LOL!
Oh that vein, I am reading a bio called The French Marquise’s Husband’s Lover’s Scandals.
Oh this is fun.
On July 14, 2007 at 10:20 am Diane L. said...
“The Second Sister’s Proud Mistake” or perhaps The Gentleman’s Regretted Distain?
On July 14, 2007 at 10:25 am colognegrrl said...
Is that why the Bible is also called God’s Word?
On July 14, 2007 at 10:45 am Louisa said...
As ever, wonderful advice.
So the tome I’m quaking over now would be called
The Faux Felon’s Daughter’s Incompetent Handyman’s Flaming Redemption: The Secret of the Charred Halls and Walls.
Great. We put a half-clad hottie on the cover, fill the book with 380 blank pages and let the reader fill in the (not so numerous) blanks left by the synopsis, er, title?
Yay! I finally finished writing a book! That was easier than I expected, you know?
On July 14, 2007 at 11:26 am RevMelinda said...
OK, this is fabulous. I love title games.
How about:
“The Plantation Owner’s Daughter’s Scandalous Wartime Affairs”
“The Scottish Maiden’s Horse’s Amazing Race”
“The Orphaned Governess’ Mysterious Employer’s Dangerous Secret”
You’re right, it’s addictive. . .
BTW, I wrote a “Title Matrix” for naming historical romances on my own blog some months ago here, if you’d like to see it:
http://revmelinda.livejournal.com/1512.html
On July 14, 2007 at 11:53 am McB said...
Ahem, I’m rereading The Evil Aunt’s Mystical Nieces’ Dire Dilemma. Louisa, don’t forget the blue eyeshadow.
On July 14, 2007 at 12:32 pm GatorPerson said...
Didn’t Willie S. start all this apostrophe nonsense with Love’s Labor’s Lost?
The Harrowing Adventures of Tara’s Owner’s Haughty Daughter
England’s Mega-Money-Maker Magical Mystery Tour for Children and Adults, a Series.
Yes I can too stop because I’m absolutely positively no good at this.
On July 14, 2007 at 12:39 pm glee said...
Hmm, I didn’t notice the apostrophe’s as much as I noticed that all those best-selling titles were from the man’s point of view. I guess we must all want the fantasy that the CEO is choosing us? What’s with that?
On July 14, 2007 at 1:50 pm Louisa said...
I prefer my men in earth-toned eyeshadow, but blue has some foundation in custom, too. Weren’t little boys wrapped in blue receiving blankets because the color blue was supposed to afford protection to the wearer?
Is that why cowboys wear Blue jeans? And what about Navy blue?
Tell that heroine to leave the CEO alone! CEO’s wives don’t have very good lives. No Freedom, and no time with One True Love.
On July 14, 2007 at 6:09 pm Mary the CB said...
You’re right, Glee, they are from the man’s POV. But it sounds strange to have a book titled the Woman’s French Lieutenant.
On July 15, 2007 at 12:48 am RevMelinda said...
Poster’s remorse! I think I made an error–maybe it should be “The Yorkshire Maiden’s Horse’s Amazing Race”?
On July 15, 2007 at 8:01 am DownUnderGal said...
Titles – dont get me started!!
“Nah, those were handed to them.” You got that right.
Marketing – dont get me started.
On July 15, 2007 at 10:21 am Erica - Aussie CB said...
LOL
“The Football Star’s Professor’s Baby”
What a way to reduce a fantastic Susan Elizabeth Phillips book to a ‘whatever’ title *grins*
On July 15, 2007 at 4:22 pm Jenny said...
Yes, but you know what story you’re getting.
It really is solid marketing.
And let face it, Agnes and the Hitman is just one step away from Agnes’s Hitman. That possessive really does change things, though.
On July 15, 2007 at 4:35 pm Brooke said...
The Tramp’s Daughter’s Great Big Voice.
I kind of like that.
On July 15, 2007 at 10:15 pm Erica - Aussie CB said...
Only three weeks (give or take a few days) until the Sydney conference!! Whooohooo! *g*
On July 15, 2007 at 10:16 pm Erica - Aussie CB said...
Sorry *g* very random there – but I was just looking at my calender and realized. Very excited *g*
On July 16, 2007 at 12:01 am Jenny said...
Oh, we are, too. Sydney, Brisbane, and Auckland. Faraway places with strange sounding names. Can’t wait.
On July 16, 2007 at 10:16 am Wendy Roberts said...
OMG these titles are too funny but I don’t even know how to begin with mine… The Remains of the Dead :/ The Dead’s Remains doesn’t cut it like the others lol.
On July 16, 2007 at 7:18 pm McB said...
Hmmmm. But Bob might argue that the title is really The Hitman’s Food Critic’s Problem With The Mob.
On July 16, 2007 at 7:19 pm Sheena said...
Dear Jenny,
sorry, but I had been confused by the Sydney conference, I thought you were going there instead of Brisbane. So you are still coming to Brisbane? When??? Are you hanging out in any bookshops? Let me personally recommend Pulp Fiction in the city, their name belies them, you can get an incredible range of excellent books there and they were the ones I got Don’t Look Down from. Are you bringing Cerise?
On July 16, 2007 at 8:58 pm Jenny said...
I can’t get Cerise on an airplane. Legs are too pointy.
I am going to the Sydney conference. RWA Australia. Then I’m going to the Queensland University of Technology in Brisbane because I have a pal there and I’m going to speak to his students. Or somebody. Then I’m going to Auckland to the NZ conference.
Is that better? Sorry.
On July 17, 2007 at 7:19 am Louisa said...
Wendy,
I can guarantee that someone in my house would buy and read a book titled REMAINS OF THE DEAD. Probably me, because I’d be the only one who ever heard of REMAINS OF THE DAY. I’d be expecting a spoof, though.
On July 17, 2007 at 8:41 pm Sheena said...
Thank you, Jenny, that’s clearer. Maybe I’ll have a moment of silence of Moot instead. But does that mean that in Brisbane you won’t be generally available to your fans, just some lucky students?
On July 17, 2007 at 10:33 pm Mary the CB said...
By the way, there’s an article in the NY Times today about Jim Dale (the man who reads the USian versions of the ubiquitous Harry Potter). It talks about how he makes the books on tape.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/17/books/17dale.html
p.s. He’s read the 7th book, so he knows how it ends. All he will say is that it’s a surprise ending. The Times’ reporter’s response was “Gee. Thanks.”
On July 19, 2007 at 6:25 am Kate Walker said...
Hi
A reader sent me over here because she’d spotted my title (That’s The Sicilian’s Red-Hot Revenge) on your list. I hadn’t noticed quite as strongly as you that 7 out of the 10 had that possessive – I guess I just get inured to the titles we’re handed – yes, definitely handed. The titles are Marketing . . . hmm was going to say ‘Marketing think’ but maybe those words don’t quite fit.
One thing is that the possessive gives the reader a short cut summary that ‘the hero of this book is Sicilian/Spanish/A Future King . . .’ Marketing belileve this is important. They also believe that words like Revenge and Mistress and Affair and Demand are important. They say these words in the titles make the books fly off the shelves. And there is the evidence in that they appear on the Waldenbooks list.
What do I think? No comment. But personally I’m never sure if I’ve read The Sicilian’s Pregnant Mistress or The Spaniard’s ditto or The Future King’s – or The Greek Tycoon’s. . . .
On July 20, 2007 at 12:55 am Jenny said...
Hi, Kate.
I think you’re right about the short-cut summary/synopsis aspect of these titles, but I also think you’re right about them blending together after awhile. That was always the problem I had with the one-word titles, too. A title has to be different from everything else out there while evoking familiar reactions in readers and encapsulating the book while . . .
Best advice I ever got on titles was from Lee K. Abbott. He said, “A title should sound like something a character in the book would say.”
And all my sympathies on being handed your title, except, well there you are in the top ten. Go, Kate.
On July 20, 2007 at 12:59 am Jenny said...
Sheena, right now, I don’t know where I’ll be in Brisbane. The university gets me first because I’m there on their dime. I know, that’s not much help. The problem comes in trying to do Australia and New Zealand in ten days. But I can’t extend because the Agnes tour starts as soon as I get back; Agnes actually comes out before I get back. And while I’m running around Brisbane, I have to keep my energy up for New Zealand who also shelled out some big bucks in airfare and expenses. So . . . .
On July 20, 2007 at 6:16 pm RfP said...
You said it was addictive, and I scoffed. Three hours later, titles full of possessives started popping into my head.
The Paraplegic’s Wife’s Lunch Partner’s Erotic Tales’ Effect on the Paraplegic’s Wife’s Libido
The Steampunk Prince’s Concubine’s Hooha’s Glitteriness Across Class Boundaries
I’m stopping now. Yes I am.
On July 20, 2007 at 6:17 pm RfP said...
(quadriplegic, that should have been.)
On July 22, 2007 at 10:30 am RSS said...
One of the talks I went to at National was promoting cutesy play on word titles. Didn’t see any of them in your list. I guess synopsis titles sell better. I’m relieved–I think.
The Staid Professor’s Hot Affair with the Man from Her Past: Will he realize her identity before a bullet once again tears her from his arms?
This is fun.
On July 22, 2007 at 9:22 pm Sheena said...
Dear Jenny, I see your problem. Never mind. Australia & New Zealand in 10 days is frankly an almost impossible ask . I’ll just thrill to myself that you’re here in my fair city, however briefly, and hope you enjoy your time. If you’re presenting at the Garden’s Point campus at QUT I hope they give you a short amount of time to check out the Botannical Gardens, which are right next door. Also, do try and get a ride on a CityCat, you can go up and down the whole river for the price of a day pass and it’s a lovely way to look at Brisbane, especially at night. It’ll take you about an hour and a half. Be warned – although we’re currently having a relatively cold snap temperatures will still be about 10 degrees (Celsius) warmer here than they will be in Sydney, and probably about 20 degrees warmer than in New Zealand. Bon voyage!
On July 24, 2007 at 7:53 pm Erica - Aussie CB said...
Two weeks now!!! WooooHooooooooo!!!
oh, Jenny – I’ve been meaning to ask; is there a proper time to be giving you your TimTams at the conference? Also, will you be signing books there?
On July 25, 2007 at 1:13 am DownUnderGal said...
I know, I know Erica – I’ve been counting ‘em down too.
I want to know what your book signing limit is, Jenny. I have nearly all of your books……
On February 10, 2008 at 7:01 pm Christine said...
Hi Jennifer
I can’t seem to find where the Walden’s Romance Bestseller list is. Would you be good enough to post a link?
Thanks
On February 10, 2008 at 11:30 pm Jenny said...
Christine, I have no idea. Sorry. I think somebody sent me that one for some reason.