Tagging Agnes
We still don’t have a good tagline for Agnes and the Hitman, and since many of you have been reading bits and pieces of the book or reading about us writing it on various blogs and therefore have a good grasp of what it’s about, and since a tagline contest just worked beautifully for another of my collaborations, Bob and I are running a contest, too. Yes, come up with the best (we get to decide the best) tagline for Agnes and the Hitman and you can win a signed ARC. Put your taglines here and on Bob’s Updates blog and we’ll each pick our favorite (so that’s two winners, one here and one over at Bob’s place). Enter as many times as you like right here in the comments (or in Bob’s comments, or both). Contest closes at midnight ET on Saturday, May 26. The winning taglines will belong to us although we will thank you profusely. Decisions of Bob and Jenny are final.
No tagline ideas here. But I love the cover. Love it.
Don’t mess with the food critic, she’ll send in the sniper.
Yeah, that was bad…i’ll work on it.
Out of the frying pan, into the line of fire.
Cooking up trouble.
Yep. I need more coffee.
Love the cover!
Um Jenny, I need back cover copy - do we have back cover copy anywhere? I can’t find it. Can’t show off my advertising skills without back cover copy.
“Arming a food critic with a frying pan can only mean trouble. But not as much trouble as tossing a hitman to the mix?”
Yeah… maybe I should give up while I’m ahead. I’ll think I’ll go watch the sabres now, maybe watching a bunch of grown men slam each other into the boards will spur some creativity…or not.
OH? Hello? Where are you?
Agnes and the Hitman: A hilarious romp of whack jobs, weddings, and the mob.
Agnes and the Hitman: Where the cranky whack job meddles in whacking.
Agnes and the Hitman: Two Rivers, two whacko’s, one wedding.
Agnes and the Hitman: Two Rivers, two worlds, two whacko’s, one wedding.
Agnes and the Hitman: One offed, two offed …
Agnes and the Hitman: Bada bam, bada bing, it’s a killing not a fling.
Agnes and the Hitman: It’s a direct hit when a cranky cupcake and a silent sniper join forces.
I’m pathetic and need to stop thinking about this. I have stuff to do…
“With someone out to spoil her party, food critic Cranky Agnus decides to fight back with a frying pan and hitman named Shayne.”
internet off…for now
Oooh, ooh, thought of one in the shower:
Agenes and the Hitman: Where disparite lifestyles meld like raspberry coulis
Now I have to drive to Los Angeles. Two hours in the car. Should be able to think up something else. This is fun, but yeah, like J-T, things to do, places to go, people to see.
Agnes and the Hitman: She cooks for the mob he kills them, or has she suddenly ventured into his field? Read it and see.
Well, I never went on the HeWrote/SheWrote blog and said I was a great writer but I tried.
“Whipping up a meal to die for”
“Cooking can be hazardous to your health”
“It’s not just a job but a calling”
“Too many cooks can kill a wedding”
“They don’t call her cranky for nothing”
“Killing can make you cranky”
1. Hit Agnes and she hits back.
2. Agnes is no lamb.
One Food Critic + One Hitman = a Killer Feast
*snort*
Where are BCB and OH when we need them??
OH is probably still sleeping and BCB is out to lunch…literally. How pathetic am I that I know that? and still haven’t turned off my internet? But the sabres are on soon. They better win or I’m gonig to hire Shane myself. Maybe he can take care of the birds smashing themselves into my window.
“Cranky Agnes just wanted the mob wedding to go off without incident. Instead she gets a hitman named Shane.”
You could do it like a recipe:
Take one food critic, add one hitman; sprinkle a few dead bodies… A killer recipe.
Or whatever. I’m too tired. Someone who has functioning brain cells should have a ponder on the recipe thing - there might be something there.
I hear my bed calling. Reasonable people should not be up at 3am.
Jenny - the cover is fantastic!
A cook, a killer, a recipe for disaster.
Cooking up trouble with a fry pan and a .45
Agnes and the Hitman — a Menu for Mayhem
What happened to “She cooks, he kills, they have great sex”? I thought it was pretty good.
Of course SHE, apparently kills too (I’ve been reading the first scene in DLD the paperback).
Does Shane cook? ‘Cause then it could be “She cooks, he kills - then they change jobs”.
“You know you’re having a bad day when the hitman in your bedroom is the GOOD news”
I’ll take a shot …
Agnes and the Hitman: Cooking up a wedding to die for.
AATH: Its a mob wedding, southern style.
AATH: He’s the Hitman; She’s cooking up trouble.
AATH: A dog, flamingos, frying pans and fire arms.
Actually, I’ve just gotten back from a three-hour lunch with a couple of J&B’s lurkers. Very nice women.
Erica, you are a sweetheart, but I can’t imagine why you think I should try this. Taglines are supposed to be concise. I can’t do concise to save my life. But maybe to get a signed ARC:
What happens when a hitman meets a woman who hits back.
He kills for a living. She just can’t help it.
Controlling and cold meets hot and out of control — they’re perfect for each other.
Or (the ‘concise’ version of that one):
Coldly controlled meets hotly out of control — something’s about to hit the pan.
This is my favorite [grin]:
He’s unemotional and controlling. She’s out of control and mad as hell. Just wait until you read the book they wrote together.
You see why I don’t do this? Now I suppose I have to go post these on Bob’s blog, too. Geez. You two are a pain the rear. Not enough I take care of your lurkers for you, now I’ve got to go repeat myself.
BCB: love the one, “He kills for a living. She just can’t help it.”
Agnes and the Hitman: Protection with Presence.
Agnes and the Hitman: Protection. It’s a family kinda thing.
Agnes and the Hitman: Cement Shoes Anyone?
Gotta go help my daughter do refreshments for a school play, sixth graders doing stand-up comedy. Yikes!!! The things we’ll do for free bed and breakfast.
coming in a little late on this…how do i get to read excerpts to be able to participate in the contest? anyone?
Hi Siberia… you can always buy the paperback version of Don’t Look Down. It’s got the whole first chapter of AATH in the back.
-Love, death and a frying pan.
-Monica Geller meets Jason Bourne.
-Bonding over bullets and baking.
-A tale of romance, the mob and the perfect cheesecake.
Wow, some of these are so good! Just sayin’. Because I got nothing in the tagline department.
Take a dash of mafia hit man, add a pinch of cranky foodie - it’s a recipe for disaster
He’s one hot dish she can’t refuse
Oops… sorry…
I really like
He kills for a living; she just can’t help it.
I forgot who offered that one, and my head hurts too much to scroll around any more.
She was there to throw a wedding. He was there to keep her safe.
There is some weirdness going on with the Chapter One page. Mollie will fix it on Monday, I’m sure. As it is, you can read it, your comments just don’t show up there. They’re on the blog because I can read them, but they’re not on the page which is all whopper-jawed. Sorry.
Whopper-jawed?
OK.
So is Bob’s blog, whopper-jawed that is, which says it has 3 comments but actually has 7.
Damn planets.
Agnes could use some help around the house — so Uncle Joey sends a hitman.
Out of the frying pan and into the fire — when a food writer and a hitman start cooking, there’s no telling where the action could lead!
Oh, well, can’t say I didn’t try.
Big, bad, and murderous. The guy with the gun is no slouch, either.
If you think the man with the gun is tough, you should see the food writer.
I’m too tired this evening, but I’ll stew it over. Stew. Heh.
BCB I love He kills for a living. She just can’t help it. LMAO!
When a food writer and a hitman team up, some people are going to get their just desserts.
Sigh. I need to hide the “internet” icon on my desktop.
What about a take off of The Cook, the Thief, his Wife and her Lover?
The Cook, the Hitman, his Uncle and her Skillet.
The Cook, the Hitman, the Mob and her Temper.
….or something like that.
She uses a frying pan, he uses a gun, they both kill…
…she can always explain about the frying pan, but don’t ask him about the gun…
she uses a frying pan, he uses a gun, they both get the job done.
but i didn’t know if that was clear enough about the kill part.
Sometimes a frying pan, sometimes a hidden door, Agnes can take care of herself, but the loan of a hitman always comes in handy…
You know, Jenny, Agnes and her frying pan remind my of a certain little girl with hand-me-down clothes and shoes that are too big, who clocks a Jenny-Greenteeth(?) in the face with an iron frying pan…
I wonder if Agnes has a younger brother, and did she ever use him as bait? *g*
Actually, I saw Mr Pratchett has brought out a third book in that set, which I’m looking forward to getting my hands on
I think Tiffany Aching is more cold-blooded.
as for the taglines I agree with everyone who liked “He kills for a living she just cant help it” and also “You know you’re having a bad day when the hitman in your bedroom is the GOOD news”
I did have a suggestion but its gone now…
“…Just imagne the kids”
I wonder if it’s worth the postage to Germany, but I’ll try anyway:
“Some killing. Some grilling. And a wedding to die for.”
Bullets and Barbeque
She’s a food critic; he’s a hitman. Which one is more dangerous?
AATHM: Cooking up danger and excitment
AATHM: Fire arms, frying pans and flamingos, oh my!
Love the cover. Too early to think about tag lines.
All I can visualize is banana puddin’ and bullets.
I think Colognegrrl’s tagline is excellent!!!!!!
“Some killing. Some grilling. And a wedding to die for.”
Bravo, C.
How about a take off of Out of the Frying Pan and into the Fire?….
Offed with a frying pan and into the fire arms?
Ack. I need more tea.
i nominate roben’s “Agnes and the Hitman: One offed, two offed…” or BCB’s “He kills for a living. She just can’t help it.”
i love the cover.
ummm, yeah, my creative juices have ended with TUMF. (at least i wont be persistent again, Jenny)
OK, I have to give this a try….
Agnes and the Hitman: Giving new meaning to “killer cuisine”.
Agnes and the Hitman: Who knew the culinary arts could be so lethal?
one hitman, one food critic- it’s a recipe for disaster
yeah, i’m going back to my corner now
I posted one at Bob’s but I see Charlene used the same one here already. Darn.
OK, how about:
Hes’a got a gun. But she’s got a frying pan.
It’s the wedding of the year…if anyone’s left alive to attend.
Add one cup danger to two cups love, stir in pure extract of hostility and a dash of murder. Mix well and bake at .375 until dead.
Okay, I also must have used all my creativity on TUMF. Well, I’ll let someone else win this time then.
Maybe.
OK, I can spell, really I can.
That first line should say “He’s got a gun.” My Italian-ness was coming out all over I guess. Sorry.
She cooks. He cleans up.
AATH: A cross between Lethal Weapon and The Food Channel
AATH: A Sure Shot.
AATH: Where the kitchen’s hot and the action’s hotter.
She’s a killer in the kitchen…and so is he.
Actually, I love BCB’s “He kills for a living. She just can’t help it.”
He’s armed, she’s dangerous: they’re cooking up a batch of southern-style trouble.
Ok, I actually thought of one. I don’t think someone else suggested it yet.
“At least with a frying pan, you can claim self defense.”
For the record, my favorites are Charlene’s “Out of frying pan, into the line of fire” and BCB’s “He kills for a living, she just can’t help”.
BCB’s last one is pretty good too. Sigh.
“Meh,” as DD would say. My last one needs some editing.
He’s armed, she’s dangerous: together they’re cooking up some southern-style trouble.
It flows better. IMO.
I love Charlene’s, too.
I agree with Theresa’s favorites, and I’ll add one more: I loved Diane (TT)’s “You know it’s a bad day when…”
Oh. I can’t comment without contributing? Oh dear.
How ’bout:
AATH: where lean and mean meet Southern Cuisine
On the other hand, how ’bout I stop embarrassing myself. Yes, there’s an idea.
A chef and a hitman: Either way, you’re toast.
Food poisoning is the least of your worries.
Two more:
The heat’s not just in the kitchen.
Her cooking’s to die for. And if that doesn’t work, there’s always the hitman.
I like BCB’s. In fact I like it so well I’m riffing on it.
He’s armed. She’s dangerous. When they come together, it’s one action-packed recipe.
Nothing new to add myself.
BCB you are very good at this. Love: He Kills for a living. She just can’t help it.
And the first part of: He’s armed, she’s dangerous.
Fun! Fun! Fun!
And, that cover is awesome.
Agnes and the Hitman: he’s armed, she’s cranky.
Agnes and the Hitman: he’s armed, she’s cranky and the food is to die for.
And that cover is absolutely glorious. As good as the Bet Me hardcover.
I just read chapter 1.
Agnes and the Hitman: he’s armed, she’s cranky and her dog is to die for.
Thanks Marcia, but I’m really not. You should see the ones I deleted. [grin]
That last one really needs something about a most wanted list, but this is all I can come up with:
He’s armed. She’s dangerous. They’re about to make each other’s Most Wanted list.
There’s a fine line about what is too corny to put on a book cover, and I think that crosses it. I’m done. All this thinking can’t be good for a person.
How about?
What’s it say when the best thing in your life is the killer?
AATHM: Frying pan… not just for cooking anymore
AATHM: Watch out for the frying pan
Okay, not very good. Maybe I’ll think up better ones later.
What do a cranky cook and a hit man have in common? Everything.
He’s the hitman but she’s the one to watch out for.
Oooh yes BCB - love He’s armed. She’s dangerous. They’re about to make each others Most Wamted list.
Thats fab, fab, fab.
What about - If You can’t stand the Heat. Get out of the Kitchen.
Protecting her is going to be the death of him.
Hmmm.
AATH: Love, bullets, and raspberry sauce.
AATH: Beware the Frying Pan
AATH: Cooking up a wedding turns old heists into new bodies
“When Agnes woke up this morning, her biggest worry was planning the menu for the perfect wedding. Now there is a body in her basement and a hitman in her bedroom. What’s a cranky food critic to do?!”
“She’s cranky, he’s crooked. Together they are cooking up a whole mess of trouble, Southern Mob style.”
If cooks could kill….
If you can’t stand the murder and mayhem, get out of the kitchen.
Love, guns, the frying pan of doom and a place to call home.
–or–
It’s all about love, guns, the frying pan of death and a place to call home.
For some reason, Bob’s blog won’t let me post.
one more variation.
What every woman needs: love, guns, deadly skillets, and a place to call home.
After beating the eggs and whipping the cream, she’ll bean you in the head.
He’ll just shoot you.
Hey, I like “If cooks could kill”. These puns are very inspiring. Made me come up with
Agnes and the Hitman - not a crash in the pan.
Southern Mob Foodie: not just a phrase anymore.
Some of these are just hilarious, guys…
“You know you’re having a bad day when the hitman in your bedroom is the GOOD news” is my favourite, so far.
Hi, my favourites so far are:
“You know you’re having a bad day when the hitman in your bedroom is the GOOD news”
And
“He kills for a living. She just can’t help it.”
I thought I had an idea, but “me” up above had a pretty similar one, ah well, here goes:
She cooks food to die for. He can arrange it
I don’t have time to go back and read all the entries, so my apologies if I accidentally copied any one else. But here’s my contribution.
She’s determined to bring off the perfect wedding.
He’s the hitman sent to protect her.
The heat is rising faster than the wedding cake. And so is the body count.
and variations on the last line…
..The body count is rising faster than the wedding cake.
… Watch out …the body count is on the rise.
Stay out of their way , ’cause the body count is about to rise.
RESting CB
I’d like to revise my last suggestion. (How pathetic we get when we crave an ARC…)
Agnes and the Hitman - more than just a clash in the pan.
huh. I posted but It must not have gone through. And thought up a pretty good tagline too, of course, now I’ve forgotten it.
AATH: A frying pan was never so deadly.
AATH: A killer recipe brings home a whole new meaning.
AATH: She’s got more in the pantry than baked goods.
I know I can do better…I’ll keep working on it.
Wow, you’ve got your work cut out for you!
Can’t wait to read this book- thanks for the teasers! Here’s my contribution:
One sassy chef, one cunning assasin, and the mob.
A delicious, but deadly, recipe.
A delicious, but deadly, combination.
And I’m spent…
He’s a smooth operator. She’s a cranky cook. Throw in a lovable pooch and a mob wedding. A recipe for love or disaster? AGNES & THE HITMAN
I’m partial to BCB’s tagline “He kills for a living, she just can’t help it.” That one is awesome! I’m afraid I used up all my skills on the Unfortunate Miss Fortunes contest. Good fun though. Good luck to everyone!
In a heavy-duty frying pan, mix a cranky food critic and a sexy hit man. Add a dash of the mob and a pinch of mayhem. Mix well and enjoy this recipe for disaster!
Anes and the Hitman: His weapon? A gun. Hers? Frying Pan. Who’s the most deadly? You’d be surprised.
or
Agnes and the Hitman: Trying to plan the perfect mob wedding can be murder.
or
Agnes and the Hitman: A Hitman, a Cook, and a Dog. Sounds like a Southern Wedding.
Well, I can say I tried! *G*
Agnus and the Hitman: She’s got a lethal frying pan, a dead body in the basement and a hitman in her bedroom. What’s next?
I put this at Bob’s but i like it so much I’m putting it here too:
She thought her raspberry sauce would be a hit…little did she know.
Agnes and the Hitman: Ya’ll better duck. Or maybe it’s take cover. Either way, they’re are a lethal combination.
Next time you people are need of a tagline or something, warn me so I can stay away. This is addicting.
She’s his new lethal weapon.
She’ll do the cooking; he’ll do the cleaning up.
This is my very last one. Long weekend coming up and I won’t have access to the internet. I will probably go through withdrawl.
Agnes and the Hitman: If you think a paid killer is dangerous, just wait until you met Cranky Agnes and her lethal frying pan.
He’s a hitman. She hits back.
Agnes and the Hitman. Nothing says lovin’ like a good whackin’.
“You never knew being a food critic was this dangerous.”
He fires; she burns.
She fries; he ices.
She slices; he ices.
He ices; she dices.
Or some variation thereof…
Ooh, ooh, I wanna be the 100th caller.
(All right, the 100th poster)
AATH:
He thought love was a bitch.
She knew love was a killer.
(I didn’t say I was going to be the best out of 100, did I?)
Agnes and The Hitman: Love means never having to whack someone or eat bad food.
If you can’t stand the heat, get out of her kitchen.
A recipe for disaster - and for love.
1 part cranky, 1 part killer- a recipe for disaster…or love?
Now I have more….
Who would you rather be taken down by- a critic or a hitman?
Shane. Agnes. Two names that can only mean one thing- murder and mayhem are right around the corner.
Frying pan or gun…both dangerous when wielded by expert hands.
Ok, so not the best attempts, but I had to try.
Shane makes Agnes an offer she can’t refuse, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll read this book!
Start with Food Critic Agnes and Hitman Shane
Mix in the mob
Stir up the past
Simmer over anger and fear
And you’ve got murder
Frying pans and guns: weapons of chioce for Agnes and the Hitman
It’s Memorial Day week-end (read - I’ve had a beer or I wouldn’t be doing this) so I’ll give it a shot:
Agnes and The Hitman: And You Thought Your Kitchen Was ( or, Got) Hot
Agnes and The Hitman: It’s A Crusie/Mayer - Do You Really Need A Hook Line?
Agnes and The Hitman: Your Career or Your Life? Never Mind - They’ll Take Them Both.
Agnes and The Hitman: Food, Sex, Death. Need We Say More?
Agnes and The Hitman: Frying Pan Meet Fire (I’m debating puncuation here. I’ve opted for none. I am no copy editor.)
Agnes and The Hitman: First Comes love then Comes Marriage. So Where Does The Mob Fit In?
Agnes and The Hitman: “Here Comes The Bride” Just Took On A Whole New Meaning. (That isn’t meant as dirty as it sounds)
Agnes and The Hitman: Am I Spelling Agnes Correctly?
I have more ideas, just can’t voice them (re: the beer). Liquid courage is for the birds.
This isn’t a tag-line offering, because it’s just a stray thought, but I keep remembering how my brothers’ answered the phone when they were teenagers:
“Hello, Anderssen’s Crematorium
– you kill ‘em, we grill ‘em.”
*grin*
She caters a mob wedding to get the house of her dreams. He takes out the trash.