Counting Squirrels
I can’t sleep.
I’m trying to think what insomnia is good for. It’s 5:40 here right now. I just turned on the light and went to HWSW and answered a question, then checked the different blogs for spam, then thought about getting a glass of milk, then thought about all the people who are going to phone me tomorrow and all the work I still have to get done, and how I could take a sleeping pill, or there’s still that glass of milk . . .
There are some good things about insomnia. I can answer e-mails from people in Australia pretty promptly. It’s easier to think when it’s completely quiet; I swear there are voices in the air during the day, radio and TV waves or something, even out here in the middle of nowhere it feels noisy, but at night, complete quiet. The phone doesn’t ring, e-mails don’t arrive except tonight from New Zealand. The dogs don’t want anything except for me to turn out the light. There are vast stretches of open air in front of me. I can think about anything.
Which is where I usually get into trouble. I think about moving to New York, about quitting writing to work as a waitress, about how I have to get the office cleaned out. I think in great detail of everything I’ve screwed up this week, this month, this year, back into childhood. I didn’t go to Amy Holbrook’s wedding; I was horrible to a student teacher; I did a lousy thing to Joyce Clark when we were in high school. I’m sorry, everybody, I am really really sorry.
When guilt begins to lose its punch, I turn to worry. What if Jen doesn’t like the new proposal, what if I can’t find those foreign contracts, what if I can’t write the book, what if this whole writing thing has been a fluke and I’m really no good and I never finish another book again and I end up as a bag lady, bumming dimes off the squirrels because there just aren’t a lot of people out here. If I moved to New York, I’d have more success as a bag lady. Of course, if I moved to New York, I would be a bag lady; at least I can afford Ohio. As long as I can write another book. What if I can’t write anothet book? I’ll become a bag lady and end up bumming dimes off squirrels . . .
Wait. We’ve been here.
Maybe I could count squirrels instead of sheep Who thought up counting sheep anyway? And what if you can only imagine one sheep? Say Shaun. What if Shaun is the only sheep in your head? Then you’re counting, “One.” That’s it, you’re done. They used to make Shaun backpacks. Of course I am much too old to carry a Shaun backpack, but stll. Something else I missed out on.
I just went to check the spelling of “Shaun.” He has his own TV show now. I bet he’s sleeping, I bet he’s not checking the IMDB for my name. Because he’s animated, but even if he wasn’t . . .
I took a break to go for milk. It’s very tasty but new guilt: The kitchen light was on when I went to get it. It’s been on for hours. I’m wasting electricity. And new fear: I’m eating a whole wheat Fig Newton which means I’ll probably gain weight. You’re not supposed to eat after eight in the evening, that’s when fat is at its strongest or fat burning is at its weakest or something. Of course, when does evening end? There are people eating breakfast right now, it’s almost six. Birds are starting to sing.
That always gives me the creeps. i think it’s blowback from when I had to get up if I hadn’t had any sleep. I’d toss and turn and hear the birds and think, “Oh, please, God, no,” because it meant that the day was going to be hell. What is it with birds, anyway? The sky is barely changed and they’re out there, making a racket. It’s not like they can see anything. It’s still dark. Go back to bed, you morons.
Ah, yes, irritation. The three stages of insomnia: guilt, fear, and crankiness. Deprive me of sleep and I become Andy Rooney.
One of the dogs just got up, gave me a dirty look, and padded for the dog door. The cat’s annoyed because I didn’t share the Fig Newton. Why is everybody on my case all of a sudden? Who drops a fortune at Petsmart every month on premium pet food, huh? Who fills that water dish? Who puts out bird seed weekly?
Oh, hell, not me, I haven’t filled the birdfeeders in months. I’m a horrible person. No wonder the birds are harassing me. On the other hand, the milk and the Fig Newton seem to be taking effect. I feel calmer. Well, fuller. I should go take that scene apart and fix it, it’s over 3000 words and wanders around looking for a point like a small child looking for its mother. And laundry, the laundry is going to crawl into this bed and smother me if I don’t do it soon. And clean my office, if I cleaned my office I could find the contracts . . .
I bet there are people who have deep thoughts when they can’t sleep. I’d feel guilty about that, but I’m too sleepy.
Insomnia. I’m against it.
Now me, I’ve just spent hours trying to figure out why a particular thing never ever works for me. I think I may have it. When I wake up tomorrow (or maybe the day after I’ll have had enough sleep), it’ll be interesting to see if my pro tem solution even makes sense…
Insomnia. It’s not for sissies.
I’m going to be very personal here. *hugs* I think there was something in the stars last week. Or the water supply.
One other thing — it gets light here around 4 a.m., and if I don’t have a good round of exercise the day before, I get up with the sun. Black out curtains perhaps are the answer. I can’t afford that, but I’ve got an old eyemask from when I was bumped up a class on the plane, and it works like magic.
I’d be very sad if you quit writing and turned into a waitress. You’ve got at least two books coming out this summer, so you’ve got a little breathing room. You don’t have to beat yourself up. Although I bet you’d make a darn good waitress . . . you also make a darn good writer. (-: See previous paragraph for your tip.
Sounds like you’re on the verge of normal, Jenny.
(And can we just imagine Jenny as a waitress? Wise cracking dame with pithy comments about the daily special.)
*snort*
A very wise person warned me recently about the dangers of thinking too much. I’m beginning to understand. . .
Pretty sure the eating after 8pm rule only counts if you are actually sleeping and your body can’t process the fig newton (whole wheat? bless you). Since you were up and about all that time, it cancels out the not eating. Kind of like the breakfast of champions, diet pepsi and krispy kreme doughnut holes.
Those squirrels are fearless, especially the big black ones. I had never seen those bossy things until moving to Ohio. They are the size of small puppies and just sit there daring you to walk by them or swerve the car or …. (sorry, had issues with one this morning).
Please don’t quit to be a waitress, I’m looking for a few good books to read this summer.
Yeah, I can just see Jenny as a waitress in NYC:
The diner is busy and a man at a table near the door stands up and yells, “Hey! What’s a guy gotta do ’round here to get some f*ing service? Twenty minutes I been waiting. How long’s it take to make a f*ing tuna salad on wheat? Someone wanna bring me a cuppa Joe sometime this week? Make it to go.”
The manager looks around, yells, “Who’s got table five? Don’t tell me it’s that Crusie woman again.”
Camera pans out and there’s Jenny, sitting at an empty booth behind the one where two little blue-haired ladies are having an animated conversation. Furiously scribbling on the order pad, trying to capture the lines of dialog while they’re fresh, mapping out a story line, making note of the patterns.
“Dammit Crusie, I’ve warned you for the last time. You’re outta here!”
She waves a hand distractedly, not looking up, turns the page and keeps writing. Oblivious, she’s still there hours later when the lunch rush is over.
And for some odd reason, I keep remembering the scene from The Sound of Music where Baroness whats-her-name and The Captain are out on the balcony and she’s telling him it just isn’t going to work out between them. Then she nods in the direction of the gazebo where Julie Andrews has wandered off into the night and tells him that somewhere out there is a young lady who she feels certain will never be a nun.
Probably I didn’t get enough sleep last night either.
Hmm, I always thought the sheep’s name was “Shorn”. If we are thinking about the same sheep. . . and he has his own TV show now? What?
Not to worry, Jenny. The 8 pm rule assumes you are going to be sleeping shortly afterwards and thus not burning calories. If you are wandering around the house then you are burning calories and it probably cancels out the fig newton.
Your squirrels carry dimes? I have to get to Ohio. Clearly it’s a happening place.
I suppose it’s rather fatuous to tell you not to worry so much since most likely worrying is what makes you who you are. Some years ago, during one of the bust parts of the boom-and-bust cycle, I lost my job. It was okay. I sold my car and the house — much to the dismay of the youngest who was away at college at the time. I decluttered my possessions and put them in storage and was lucky enough to move into a spare room at a friend’s house until I got my feet under me again. I thought at the time that the thing that kept me from being a homeless bag-lady is that I had friends and family and I am capable of asking for help. I think you could ask for help, too, and we’d be happy to give it to you, even if you never wrote another word. We’d be sad about the lack of new books, of course, and we’d tell ourselves that we were feeling badly that you weren’t able to write but we’d be lying ‘cuz we want the stories
We are selfish and it’s all about us.
I hope you get through your day without too much crashing and burning and that tonight you sleep the sleep of the just. Or at least the sleep of the very tired. Guilt, it was probably a Mother’s Day Thing.
Squirrels — rats with fluffy tails. But entertaining.
I’ve learned to take sleeping pills every so often to help fight my insomnia, (stop yelling at me BCB - the doctor said I should, really). I usually take them two nights a week and they have started helping with the sleep - but not the thinking, the guilt and I didn’t go to Amy Holbrook’s wedding either, but something tells me we are not talking about the same person. My maiden name is Holbrook.
Anyway, I’m sure you are asleep now, enjoying some good dreams. Don’t sweet the small stuff. NY is nice, waitressing? Well, I did it for a few years and decided I sucked at it because my tips were well, not great because I tended to open my mouth and give people my opinion, not a good thing most of the time.
And I’ve never feed the birds. Do you think that is why they fly into my window like five million times a day driving me nuts?
You’re a wonderful person.
Oh, isn’t that the joy of insomnia. (snerk). I think L.M. Montgomery had a character who called it the 3 am feeling.
And, I agree with Lynn - my understanding of the not eating after whatever rule is that it has to do with things that happen if your body is still digesting stuff when you lay down to sleep, so if you are up, no problems on that front.
I’m not sure if I should wish you sleep, better non-sleepy thoughts, or both.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Give yourself permission to sleep and relax today, watch your favorite movies or TV shows on disc, drink and eat your favorites (guilt free, really–something in the Virgo’s horoscope today about indulgences and a cosmic free pass. The stars said so. Really. I’ve got it here somewhere…it must be in my other suit…) and know that it’s going to get better. I promise. I’ve got brownies that say so and will beat up anybody who doesn’t.
Insomnia. Ugh. For some reason it only strikes me at conferences so I can be cranky and insane to complete strangers or those who can further my career. I’m against it too.
Ambien.
Wait, wait, don’t delete me. I’m not a colleague of Dance Tights Bob.
Ambien is a non-narcotic lifesaver. And they’ve got a new generic for it now, so it’s not so much of a budget-buster, and even bag ladies can afford it.
Life is so much better with restful sleep and no next-day hang-over/grogginess.
Squirrels got dimes?
The birds start chirping here at 4:30 in the freaking morning.
What is insomnia good for? Pharmaceutical companies, for one. And we got a post out of it.
See, I don’t suffer from guilt much (except the cosmic kind, where I should be saving the world; this puts the whole “getting enough work done” and “having a clean house” stuff into perspective). But sometimes I do wake up in the middle of the night and the squirrels start skittering around in my head (dimeless).
So I get up and read a book, and either enjoy the heck out of it or fall asleep with the light on (it’s a compact fluorescent, so it’s not too bad), and either way, I haven’t developed any performance anxiety about sleep. And I sometimes have something to eat, too, because if I’m hungry, I won’t be able to fall asleep, and besides, sleeplessness increases your metabolism (in the short-term; in the long-term, it leads to stress and a slower metabolism - this is compensation for being stuck awake, not a diet strategy).
So, peace be with you! I’ve never heard of Shaun, but peace to him, too.
Most of my sleepless nights occur because some book I have read has caused me to fantasize about extra scenes. Like Lucy and J.T. working out life after they move in together. Keeps me up at night.
Jenny, if you want to become a bag lady, you can have a spare room at my house. It is much easier to be a bag lady if you have a warm dry place to sleep (or stay awake) at night.
I had a biology teacher in high school, who was color blind btw, who said no one had ever found a reason for sleep. It’s so you don’t turn into a raving lunatic.
I tried last week to pull an all-nighter: intentional insomnia if you will. Turns out that two decades after I made it a habitual practice in college, I just can’t do it anymore. And that’s not terribly bad, I think.
I am all for the brisk daytime walk, and failing that, the occasional Advil PM.
When I have insomnia, I know it’s time to clean. In fact, it’s about the only time I do clean. Helpful?
When I had insomnia I counted. I counted 100 animals and was still cranky in the morning. Who knew? I even reached a level of bredom one night and for the alphabet I named 5 girls names and 5 boy names.
X, Z, and Q were really hard. And I started thinking who would ever call a poor child Queenie anyway? Still annoyed in the morning. Hot drinks and doing work usually work for me, at least I am doing something productive and not thinking I am going to die alone or think that Xena is a really lame name.
I used to have insomnia. I’m not sure why it finally left. My husband objected to my long-running affair with “Late Night With Conan O’ Brien”. (He didn’t seem to care that Max Weinberg was on! Max! Weinberg! Member of the E Street Band! This was important!)
I digress.
In the meantime, Jenny, in the spirit of the really great thread on the Cherry Forums, you are a great writer. If I had a fraction of your wit, your intelligence and your talent, I would die a happy woman. I hope there is no next time you’re lying awake because you can’t sleep, but instead of sheep, you could count the millions who’ve gratefully devoured your books, and are thrilled to give copies to others as well. I should know — I’m one of them.
Well, I hope you got to take a nap. Here’s my two cents of sleep information - it’s actually very normal to have periods where you wake up and sleep very lightly. With the changing of the seasons, your body may be finding a new pattern or sleep cycle. That doesn’t help the “Oh no! I have to get up in three-hours!” thoughts, but at least the restless sleeper doesn’t have to worry about it being abnormal.
My grandmothers knew everything though, and the grandmother who would wake up in the middle of the night with worries swore that peanut butter does the trick. I’ve used it since high school, and also swear by it. (That, and not messing with my thyroid medicine now that I’m in balance). I don’t know how it tastes on Fig Newtons, but if you get the really good stuff — the stuff that is just plain ground peanuts with a little bit of salt that you have to stir, life is better after having a spoonful.
you’re still buying retail pet toys??!!! ARRGH. http://www.petedge.com
I learned having 5 dogs who destroy plush chew toys faster than most men stay on a bull that retail is stupid. wholesale pet supplies, no license or business name needed. direct shipping. ahhhh. see! one positive out of insomnia. I hate being awake at 3. What’s the freakin’point in going back to bed but yet, i’m still tired as hell. later gator.
i never minded my insomnia, esp since even when i’m not in my insomnia phase (for a couple of months, i’m an insomniac, for a couple of months, i’m not, and over and over again) i don’t get enough sleep. or i oversleep, though i don’t think that one is true.
i read or clean or do homework or write or check out the internet. normally around 5 a.m. i take a really long walk around my neighborhood. can’t say i really sit around worried. and i do not count the animals. i start naming them. then they get into fights about why Ryan got the name Ryan when clearly he is a Philip and Michelle does not have the eyes- or the lips, she doesn’t have lips, and a Michelle needs lips- to pull off a Michelle and really, when the animals start yelling at you, you start yelling back, and then it just turns into a barn fight.
anyway, you are an excellent writer. and you’d probably make more money in Ohio since everyone knows you and there’s not as much competition between the bag ladies. as for a waitress- hurts your back. become the hostess.
Insomnia wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t still have to function during the day. If I didn’t need to negotiate traffic and make decisions I wouldn’t mind it at all. As to using meds to help you through it, seems like most of the people I know are going through a bad patch right now; can’t begin to imagine how much worse it would be if we couldn’t get some sleep.
One good thing about insomnia . . . sometimes the voices in your head aren’t quite so loud as they are during the day after eight hours of sleep.
I have Ambien. It makes me nuts. (As Bob always says, “How can we tell?”) I get good results from Sonata, though. I just try to stay off drugs in general. My system loves pharmaceuticals, it grabs onto them and keeps them forever.
But I slept until noon, so I got some good hours. Except for the @#$%&* wrong number at eight AM. Rot in hell, lady. She said serenely, at one with the universe.
And I was a GREAT waitress. But it’s a helluva job, so I’m back writing fiction today.
Just woke up from a nap myself. (after 4 straight nights of waking up at 2:00 am.) I just got some Sonata, but I was too scared to take it last night. I’m a bit of a wimp when it comes to drugs. But tonight I am taking it! Because insomnia is driving me crazy! (And my friend has been taking it as needed for a few weeks and loving it.) I am looking forward to a good night’s sleep and a productive day tomorrow.
I should be so lucky as to have such productive insomnia. I thought you were supposed to toss and turn with insomnia until it’s time to get up, not get up and do something and then go back to bed. Live and learn. And occasionally sleep. And am I ever draggletailed today.
e. I love that, Shorn, the sheep. Heh.
Insomnia. Hate it. But fortunately I only get it when my brain won’t switch off because it’s full of thoughts and they all come with amazing pictures. I’m not that deep, so it doesn’t happen much.
When it does, I get up eat one of everything in the fridge and then turn to the cupboards, then I play on the computer, then go back to bed with a huge stomach ache, fight sleep some more, get up start the day, then sneak back to bed for an hour or two at midday.
Waitress. Tried it once. A lot easier than working in the vineyards, or on a sugar cane farm. Now that’s hard work, at least most waitressing jobs are in air conditioned restaurants.
One thing that I have learned. Never, EVER, under ANY circumstances, look at the clock in the middle of the night after you wake up. It is what sets the thoughts in motion.
When I wake up, I pick up a book and read until my close again. (Usually Manhunting, which I keep on the lower shelf of my nightstand! It has always been one of my favorites.)
If you’ve ever had the privilege to hear Jenny speak, that first line about Ambien and Bob- I can just hear her saying it. And then me laughing hysterically.
Which is why I am so very thrilled that she is back writing fiction today.
I know a lot of people who have had crappy Monday’s today. Must be some Cosmic thing going on..or Bob’s force field is getting too strong. Who knows?
Insomnia- I hate even thinking about it, let alone having it! Glad you got some ZZZZZZ’s!
Go with the guilt; I hear serial killers don’t suffer from it.
Here I was hoping this insecurity thing would get better. sigh. It’s been my experience that squirrels are lousy tippers. At best they give you a dime. Cheap fluffy tailed bastards.
I highly recommend using the ‘Golden Girls’ in place drugs. They’re distracting, clever, and the only time you feel guilty about them is when you admit that you watch them. The only side affect I’ve noticed is at age 23, I tend to sound like an 80 year old Sicilian woman.
Insomania - touch wood, never had it. And I’m a night worker so sleep is ALL important. Your biology bteacher was nuts G and T. They dont use sleep deprivation as a form of torture for no reason. It’d work for me. They wouldn’t have to go to the trouble or expense of bringing out the thumb screws. Just keep me awake for a couple of days and I’d admit to anything.
My mother, sister and brother however are all insomaniacs. With my mum it’s kid related from when we were teenagers, for my brother its the thought his business is going to go bust for my sister….well, she lays awake and worries about third world poverty at 3 in the morning. Issues like that worry the crap out of me too but jeez - what the hell can you do about it at 3am? Go to sleep already.
AS a nurse I say dont sweat the whole tablet thing. If you need it to get a solid 8 hours then take the damn pill - no biggie. Diabetics need meds to stabilise their blood sugar levels. People who are depressed need meds to stabilse their mood.
It’s not crack cocaine. There are much worse things to be dependent on.
for some reason sleep and I are no longer friends. Nic at night is my friend, as are audio books, which I am starting BET ME again, as my bestest looking forward to not sleeping thing.
so i sleep till noon. i can do that. I look at the phone if it rings. jon checks messages. don’t answer the phone. I actually usually forget to take connection out of laptop and put back in phone, so it is easy for me.
If I made you a crocheted silver jewelry, what would be a good address to send it to so you can wear it. just to jenny in ohio seems like a bad idea.
narrow it down please. you will join the ranks of Ann Rule and Nora Roberts in having my stuff. oh, and anyone else i can con into an address……
back to my …
One Fig Newton? Jenny, that’s practically health food!! Anything short of the whole bag of Oreo’s is doing good, in my opinion, especially because then you’d have had a sugar buzz going:)
sleep well
Okay. I can see how Ambien will make you crazy. I was instructed to take it twice a week on nights I knew I could sleep in since my day starts at 5:30 everyday. So, it’s either go to bed early, or do it on the weekends. I deciced to take it Friday’s and Monday nights, going to bed early on Monday. I’ve been doing this for a couple of weeks now and I’m offically crazy. I’ve decided its the ambien that has made me nuts. So, back to being an insomniac.
Dear, dear Jenny,
I love your insomnia post because it shows all too well your humanity.
One of my favorite things to do for beloved friends is for them to get into their jammies and then I give them a massage until they fall asleep and then I let myself out.
Thanks for this lovely peek into your world.
Warmly,
Gayle
Try Valium. An old favorite that still does it’s job. Of course, my doc will only give me 10 pills at a time.
But they solve the whole “guilt, fear, crankiness” insomnia cycle. Peace. And a nice side effect - unlike some OTHER meds, it comes in generic. Pretty neat when you can get a bottle for less than the co-pay.
As for your waitress gig, Jenny, well, when you get fired for scribbling dialogue instead of food orders, you can crash on my couch and exchange tales of waitressing for food & lodging.
Magnesium.
When you’re tired, and you want to sleep, and you lie down quietly but CANNOT stop thinking and worrying, chances are it’s magnesium deficiency. Take 250 milligrams and you’ll probably be asleep within an hour.
If you’re tired and lie down and start to fall asleep, but wake up with a jerk over and over, especially if your muscles are twitching or itching or otherwise bothering you, it’s calcium deficiency. Same instructions as above, only for calcium.
Dear Jenny,
I’ve been appointed (ok, fine then, self-appointed) to embark on a fact-finding mission on behalf of the CB’s. Bob seems a bit confused about the upcoming Agnes booksigning tour. We suspect it’s wishful thinking about visiting The Gulag, but perhaps you should have someone check his airline reservations. Make sure it includes a return trip.
Is the schedule set? Can you give us dates, times and places? Some of us live in far flung places like Scotland and California and, and– Michigan. It seems some of us have offered to lug massive quantities of books around the country for some of the rest of us so you and Bob can personalize and sign them (lucky you) and then some of us have offered to mail them to the rest of us. This all takes time and coordination and the confidence that we can do anything we set our minds to. Which we generally can. We’re just awesome that way.
We’d sit patiently and wait for you to tell us in your own good time, but after the little, um, glitch with DLD, well, we thought it might be best to just ask. Now. Before you forget. Again.
Thank you in advance for your prompt response to this request.
PS- You really should stop in NC. It’s that big rectangular state that takes up a lot of space on the Atlantic coast. If you make him drive, Bob would have to go right through there to get to wherever else he’s going. There are at least four of us who live there and three more within easy driving distance. I’d even buy lunch. I’m getting good at that. Just saying.
It might be easier to lug and ship book covers. Can one get extra book covers that could be signed by the Cherry and the GAM? Then mailed to the appropriate CB. That is an option.
Downunder gal:
If you could have seen my hs bio teacher, you might have thought he was a bit nuts, as well. Perhaps HE had given up sleeping.
I am completely for sleep and against insomnia. I like a nice glass of chocolate milk to send me off into slumber’s embrace.
About the sleeping thing -
have you tried taking Melatonin? Take it for a few days, to get into a regular pattern of sleep, then stop taking it.
This is also something good for getting over jetlag, too - which might be good for the Australia trip.
If you take some now, you can test how your body reacts to it, before the big trip ‘down under’.
no, what gets me is the tapping. tap. tap. tap. drives me nuts. tap tap tap. i hate that! cause when i hear it, it annoys me and then i get mad and then i have so much adrenaline coursing through my body i can’t sleep. it’s this tap tap tap and i can’t get away from it. tap tap tap.
also, there is a girl in my house who has a voice that is so loud and shrill and can cut through thick walls and you just want to stuff an apple down her throat. well, she also just sucks as a huamn being so that doesn’t help.
good job BCB, with the asking
Turkey- not the country, the bird- the whole tryptophan thing will work if you eat it on an empty stomach-
I didn’t earn the nickname “Wombat” in college because of my healthy sleep patterns! *grin* To this day if I get two days off in a row, you can be assured that by the second day I will be up ’til some god-awful hour with the realization that I have to get up at 430 AM and go to work the next day, and yes, it is now somewhere in the vicinity of 2 AM and the day has gone to hell already and I haven’t even started the damn thing yet!
Oh, was that a little TMI? Sorry, traffic has been freakin’ HELL lately and summer hasn’t even gotten into full swing… I’m feeling a LITTLE stressed, OK?!! I need some time off. What sucks is that now that I am no longer a carefree college student I can’t even use my insomnia for a reason to pull pranks on the dorm rats…. Hmmmm. Maybe I’ll just have a Fig Newton and a glass of milk too. Move over, Jenny. What’cha do with the remote? Sleep Train Night Theater gotta have something on to watch….
Yayyyyyy!!! Just booked for the Aussie conference. Looks like I’ll be living under the overpass, or under a tree in Central Park, with Jenny. We’ll be bumming dimes from squirrels together.
I tried, I really tried to be practical and not go this year but how could I not go when Jenny is teaching a whole day workshop. I ask you? It would be impossible, no? So now I’m broke, but happy, and the family is happy, Mum gets a visit first, then conference. Then I come back home and get a job as a waitress.
Roben, good news! Hey pick up some Tim Tams while you’re there — I hear they’re good stuff. And share them with Sheri and moi, in case they’re good for insomniacs. (I figure they can’t hurt.)
And have a wonderful time! Throw another short person on the barbie. (Someone told me once that no true Aussie, aside from that film star, ever uses that phrase.)
I did like that Australian tourist boards slogan “we’re here… so where the bloody hell are you?” or something like that. Well, I liked it better than the British authorities did, at any rate.
Yeh Roben.
:-) 
BTW you do realise we don’t HAVE squirrels down under right? What kind of an ex pat are you? You’ll have to hang with the possums instead. They’re pretty vicious though - they dont like to share. A friend of mine tried to pat one after one too many glasses of bubbly and after she shook the sucker off ended up on the operating table having her knuckle drained. Still, no rabies here so thats a bonus.
Yes Mary, Tim Tams are good for insomania. Well at least they keep your mind off not being able to sleep while you guilt over the calories. There you go - perfect. Why count sheep when you can count perfectly good calories.
zzzzz working already.
Yeah, I liked the “where the bloody hell are you campaign” too. Did cause a bit of a ruckus though.
We say barbie all the time but most of us cant afford to throw a prawn, aka shrimp, on. Hell, these days we cant afford to buy petrol!!! Usually snags get thrown on barbie’s. Chicken if you’re really posh. Ken’s if your exceedingly pissy
Thats another story….
Yay, Roben!
DUG… Do you remember the good old days when you could fill your tank for about 30 bucks? When fuel was actually under $1 per litre? *sigh*
You barbequed ken? LOL! I hope it wasn’t one of those ones with ‘real’ hair… *g*
… and a snag by the way, is a sausage. Yummy on the barbie. A SNAG is also the acronym for a modern Aussie bloke, a sensitive new age guy. Heh. I might get me one of those.
Ah, so barbie doesn’t refer to a barbie doll. The expression makes much more sense now. Why, I was wondering would they be throwing people on barbie dolls.
theresa: see, and i thought it wasn’t a doll until Erica’s “you barbequed ken?”. was i the only one to use Barbie and Ken for that purpose? i practiced guerilla warfare with those things; ah, the good old days…
Aussie world doesn’t have squirrels?
last night i had trouble falling asleep. my first thought: damn those cherries and CBs, my insomnia’s back
Yes, stop in NC. There are at least 2 of us in NC that can and do read. Maybe 3. I think it’s still taught in the schools.
I really think Colorado is the perfect place to add to the tour- The Tattered Cover is a wonderfuly accomodating large independant- and if y’all show up I will personaly stop by Hammond’s and grab you some handmade chocolates and get some lovely handcrafted beer from the micro-brews that populate every corner-
And we have at least two CBs and a few other Cherries in the area.
I don’t care why you’re awake at dawn–or why I’m awake at dawn.
The dawn itself is such a gift, such a wonder. There really is no more perfect time of day. I used to teach school all night, end the shift feeling as dead as dead could be. Walk outside, see the dawn, get that rush, that hit of perfect morning light. Take my self, rewinding, reformating, revivifying self, to the beach, meet with friends, take a nap (yeah, with friends. It was the 70s), go home, do the wash, get dressed and do the whole thing all over again.
Birds don’t sing because the sun is up; birds sing because they have faith that the sun WILL come up. And because, well, they’re birds, yes?
Anyway, maybe the Girls in the Basement are cooking up a surprise for you. They probably don’t want to be the Girls in the Basement of a Baglady, I think.
And when I’m awake to see the dawn, I’m 22 again,
till I get to the bathroom mirror, at least.
No OH, no squirrels in Oz. Except in Zoo’s.
Sally J I’ve seen too many dawns after 20 years of night duty. I feel 100 at dawn. And I look it too. Blech to dawn. Dawn is best viewed from behind closed lids I say.
But yes, it is astonishingly beautiful.
Let’s say the experience of dawn has to remain an extraordinary event. Doing it too often makes it too profane (says the nightingale, not the lark.)
The sweetest phrase in the English language may be, “To each his own.” And I don’t mind that others disagree about daybreak, because I kind of like having it to myself. But I’ve been thinking about Stardom and Fandom and wondering if Fans (for instance, me) are quite fair to Stars (for instance, Jenny).
Now, a lot of you are not only Jenny’s fans, you are Jenny’s colleagues, so count yourselves out for this bit of musing. How do stars feel about fans? Fans are necessary, true, and lots of fans are lovable. But are we also–perhaps–a great source of stress for the stars?
I have no idea how stars feel about fans, but if they have any brains, they appreciate them for keeping them stars. I’m just grateful I have readers.
Which brings me to my next announcement: I have just this morning sent two proposals to NYC. I know I’ve been MIA these last couple of days, but I have done good work. Well, I hope it’s good work.
Yea, I get to see Roben again in Oz!
And now BCB’s question:
“Is the schedule set? Can you give us dates, times and places?”
The schedule is very short (YEA!) and still a work in progress but to the best of my knowledge it’s:
Sunday, Aug. 26th–Pittsburgh/Mystery Lovers Bookstore
Monday, Aug. 27th–Chicago Andersons
Tuesday, Aug. 28th–Lexington Joseph Beth
Wednesday, Aug. 29th–Cincinnati Joseph Beth
Thursday, Aug. 30th–Dayton Books and Co.
The times aren’t set yet but they’re usually around 7PM.
NONE of this is set yet. Too far ahead. Bob and I will be doing Living the Dream posts again but on our own blogs, so you’ll have to blip back and forth between them to get both sides this time. We’re both flying to Pittsburgh from our respective homes, then flying together to Chicago–Bob usually tries to get a seat away from me–then flying from there to Cincy where we will pick up my car at the airport and drive to Lexington–and there are NO souvenir shops along the way–and then back to Cincy and from there to Dayton. Five Days in Hell.
But it’s still tentative.
Ya know, California’s REALLY PRETTY!!
Just sayin’…..
I’m so excited about your one day workshop in Sydney. Looking forward to it and think it will be the “icing on the cake” ’scuse the cliche, of the year long workshop.
I’m spending a week up in the vineyards and then coming down to Sydney on the Thursday. Then flying out on Monday. It’s a short trip but will be worth it. Looking forward to Anne’s class on writing dark contemporary fiction. I need to learn to write darker. No more fluff and niceness for me. This is going to be my year for kicking butt and going dark. Yay!
Five cites in five days. Wow. That’s really– not sure what that is. Good luck. Don’t hurt each other.
And if you and Bob ever do want to visit NC and maybe even give a one-day workshop, well, I know a large group of really nice writers who would LOVE to welcome you to town and soak up all the good info. Deb Dixon is coming in November to do a Fri night/Saturday workshop. We could make a weekend of it and schedule you and Bob for Sunday . . .
Of course, then our heads would explode from TMI. But it sure would be fun.