Dove has just brought out a new line of products and I’m going to be buying them, probably by the case. The line is called “Pro-Age” in a reaction to the implied criticism in “anti-age” products, which pretty much tells you that age is bad, tough luck for you that you can’t avoid it unless you drop big bucks on their miracle gunk. (Well, there’s another way, but it’s death.) The ad is here, but for those of you who have dial-ups and can’t see it (it was deemed too racy for television so you won’t be seeing it there, either), it’s a series of four nudes, carefully posed so that none of the interesting bits are showing, all of whom are over fifty. One is softly, lusciously zaftig in the way older women are. There are wrinkles and age spots. They are the antithesis of the women that every anti-aging skin care line flashes on the screen, a fact Dove reinforces by running type across each woman toward the end of her segment that says, “Too old to be in an anti-age ad.” Then they end the ad by saying, “But this isn’t anti-age, this is pro-age . . . Beauty has no age limit . . . Dove is Pro-Age, not Anti-Age.”
Okay, this is freaking brilliant marketing for several reasons, not the least of which they’ve just made every product out there labeled “anti-age” the bad guy. I am stunned by the genius behind this concept. But it’s not just neutering the competition that makes this campaign so great; this ad is positive in the way it sells the product and the brand. I’m fifty-seven, and after watching the commercial, I’m loving Dove. And it’s not even the company that makes the chocolate.
But that’s not the end of the marketing genius here. Before they play the commercial, there’s a line on the screen: “Watch what we couldn’t show you on TV and then tell us what you think.” And then inside the website there’s a montage labeled “hear the reaction to the commercial.” It’s wonderful to watch because of all the smiling women who are obviously delighted to see naked peers in television commercials, but there are two women in there who, I swear to God, are the cousins of the Church Lady. They’re both tense as piano wire and they both say the same thing, “The American public is not ready to see that, or probably doesn’t want to” and “I don’t think that American women are as willing to be that out there with their bodies over fifty years of age.” I wanted to grab them by throats and say, “Well, aren’t you SPECIAL.”
But then I started to wonder if they were ringers. Because you really do not like them. And because you do not like them, you want to prove to them that women do want to see that. You want them to find out that their narrow ideas of beauty for women are criminally wrong. You want to show them so much, you just want to go out and . . .
Buy a lot of Dove Pro-Age.
Really, you do. Because if this ad campaign fails, we’ll be back to some airbrushed thirty-five-year-old telling us about how she’s worried about wrinkles. I’ve got a neck like a Shar-pei, but she’s worried about “fine lines.” Bite me, cookie. Now show me that Pro-Age commericial again. Damn, I love those women.
So I’m wondering if the geniuses behind this campaign didn’t set up some antagonists for me so that I’d side with Dove, clearly the good guys here. I wonder if I’m being manipulated. I’m not sure because if these piano-wire women are real, then aging must be making them miserable–they’re essentially saying, “Nobody wants to see me naked”–and their unhappiness may be showing in their rigid body language and tight faces. Or they could be really good actresses and Dove is just manipulating me.
But here’s the kicker: I don’t care. I don’t even care if the ProAge products are lousy. I’m going to buy them because I want to see more commercials. Basically, they had me at “Too many people think beauty has an age limit.” The four fantastic naked chicks over fifty were just gravy, and I have strong feelings about gravy.
Dove Pro-Age. Buy it so we can keep watching the commercials.

[Comments for this post are continued on the next post, "Magic Hips."]