Comments on: Zelda 11: James Again

By: downundergal

downundergal — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 05:03:16 +0000

See, I knew this would be worth the wait. You do great hero’s Jenny. I can feel every angsty moment of his fifteen year-old crush that summer, besotted with Zelda in her frayed shorts and striped t-shirt. These two are going to be hot! Great botanical similies btw.

By: Inge_ Cherry Pi

Inge_ Cherry Pi — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 01:49:37 +0000

Ok. Chocolate covered cherries… I remember this. Now where did I put that recipe!

By: Louis

Louis — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 20:39:57 +0000

Oh! Wow!

I’m really looking forward to the further adventures of Zelda and James, Ruby and Keith, and Scylla and Mike.

Does Rosemore get torn down? Does Angela appear again, or is she left on the cutting room floor?

Frustrated readers want to know….

By: Diane (TT)

Diane (TT) — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 17:23:06 +0000

So, the cuts are really interesting: it seems as if Rosemore was going to be a major “character” originally, but is being whittled down. The ghastly modernist Bauhaus Home for Wayward Girls has moved definitely into the background.

James is excellent and long-suffering – I like a man who is willing to help a friend (or a receptionist) but not be pushed around by manipulative cousins.

By: Corinne

Corinne — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 17:14:04 +0000

Wow. I’m another for the list– I liked the idea of Zelda and her plants, but I really like James.

I also wanted to say thanks for sharing this process, which I’ve borrowed. “The Two Weeks of Chapter Two Revision” doesn’t have the same ring to it as “The Twelve Days of Zelda,” but it’s helping me generate some momentum that I sorely needed.

By: me

me — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 15:51:41 +0000

Why does “marinated cherries” make me giggle? Actually, a lot of it made me giggle. This is fabulous.
I love that you compared Ruby to poison ivy. Way to go with the plant theme.
And add me to the list of those who love James. Sigh…

By: CathyS.

CathyS. — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 15:24:46 +0000

I really like James opening scene. And I like it much more than Zelda’s scene, which still feels “off” to me. James’ scene hangs together and I want to find out how he deals with these outrageous cousins of his. Zelda’s scene does not grab me the same way.

It took me a day to realize why I wasn’t really caught by Zelda’s scene. The search to find out who her father is does not feel adequate as a motivation for her to stay at Rosemount. At least it doesn’t seem like adequate enough motivation coming out of nowhere when it is immediately preceded by all the hesitation and foot-dragging that Zelda has been doing when she arrives.

Could there be a hint that some knowledge about her father might be awaiting her at Rosemount that she is eager to get her hands on before she even arrives? (A letter or note found in Scylla’s Mom’s things might work.) Then the opportunity to find out more as a reason to stay might seem a little more natural. Otherwise, I think that Zelda should be trapped at Rosemount for some other reason, and the search for her father be introduced in a later scene.

(These are just my thoughts. I’m not a writer, but I have helped plot and written lyrics for seven 90 minute long musicals over the years. The problem with live performances is that if something major doesn’t work, you don’t find out until it’s in production and you have wait until you produce it again to fix it!)

By: Andi

Andi — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 14:38:33 +0000

Well done! You write such great secondary characters, I loved Ruby. Her “how does this affect me” attitude, but without malice was just good. And Mike’s not so flattering life summation, good, and darkly humorous. I can’t wait to read this book.

This has definite crunch!

By: Kieran

Kieran — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 14:19:08 +0000

I’m going to be so bummed when the 12 Days of Zelda are over! Every day I look forward to reading the next installment. I keep telling my husband…she doesn’t have to go this far with sharing, but she keeps doing it, and it’s not about self-promotion–it’s about wanting to help other writers, which is truly a beautiful thing. So thanks again for sharing!

By: Cassie

Cassie — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 13:47:06 +0000

Thank you SO much for the excerpt! I’ve been completely suckered in, I have a spot so soft it’s nearly liquid for guys unrequitedly in love. The teenaged James rather reminds me of the songs of The Smiths, but blessedly without the self-pity.

By: roben

roben — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 10:26:24 +0000

We can’t edit these comments and I’m amused at mine … where did “picking the eyes out of something” come from? Is that even an expression? Should it be the letter I? Anyway, I was feeling like roadkill and being pecked at yesterday, so we can leave it in. What I meant was you are amazing at being able to capture the important parts and editing out the rest.

By: ZaZa

ZaZa — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 08:49:38 +0000

Didn’t I tell y’all I was in love with James??? I’ve been waiting for that man’s story for years now. LOL!

My favorite line: “Well, at least I didn’t push her in a river.” That cracks me up every time I hear it.

The old way is long, but it’s fun and funny, so it’s a joy to read, but you really did keep the good stuff when you cut. Still wanting the director’s cut book.

Thanks, Jenny, for sharing this with us. I’m stoked about the book all over again.

By: Sheri

Sheri — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 06:03:48 +0000

Well, I see that I was right about the Mexican art–James buys it for Rose because they all look like her. Love to see you include it later in the story.

What–nobody even mentioned the cherries? Tsk, tsk–I am surprised at you all! Loved that little gem…

You have gone and gotten another cast of quirky, oddball, wacky characters that I am going to love to hate–how do you do it?! And I agree with everyone else–I am loving James. You always create such great couples. That’s why I love your books so much. James and Zelda are going to be the next Davey and Tilda. Sophie and Phin.

Damn. You are almost at Day 12. Does that mean no more Zelda? *pout*

By: roben

roben — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 03:10:16 +0000

OMG, I laughed out loud. Loved it. I am amazed at how you could pick the eyes out of that first draft and get it into such fantastic dialogue … love, love, love James. Maybe almost as much as Charlie, in Charlie All Night. There is something about him that makes you want to snuggle close. It’s a combination of sexiness, worldliness, and intellect. Loved his dialogue about leaving them on the side of the road, now that’s cutting to the chase.
Good work.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 02:22:31 +0000

I like this for the opening because it was really fun and positive. James is the fix it guy and he deserves to find someone that will not have to be fixed. I’m hoping Zelda will prove to be that person. I’m a little worried because her first scene was a little negative and whiney to me. I know everyone else loved her but the premise of the box / dad / maid / author doesn’t add up for me. I know Jenny will work it out and make it great. Thanks for letting us read your work in progress. It is very interesting.

By: orangehands

orangehands — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 02:05:00 +0000

best line: “Especially with God’s gift to brick egging her on.” still LMAO.

By: McB

McB — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 01:47:18 +0000

I’m with Charlene … I think I fell in love with James. I really wanted to smack his relatives upside their heads. I don’t know if any of them are your antagonists, but they’re sure as hell antagonistic.

By: Charlene Teglia

Charlene Teglia — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 01:32:45 +0000

Fantastic!

“Probably shouldn’t do that again, he thought. Unless there was a chance Ruby and Keith really would get out. That would be worth the risk. Who said he wouldn’t take a chance?”

I fell in love with James right there.

By: K.L.

K.L. — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 00:24:31 +0000

WOW. Just WOW.

By: Brooke

Brooke — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 00:24:09 +0000

Oh, I completely love it. You’ve got some great lines but also, James reminds me of this guy I work with, he’s just crystal clear. So is Mike, and Ruby and Keith, the scheming bastards. Fantastic. You’re telling me this isn’t the fun book? Wow.