I really want to read it, and if that means getting two or three drafts of each chapter and piecing it together (Dickens, wasn’t it, wrote serials in the newspaper?), then sobeit.

My back yard is full of colorful perennials blooming happily under oak trees. There’s even an area the kids refer to as “the jungle” where there are oak trees, flowers and vines, all together.

I’m further south, though.

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What a difference! Definitely the new version held my tension a *lot* more than the old.

But by the end of the new version I was wondering why Rose wants to help Zelda work out who her father is … and by the end of the old version I was wondering why Zelda is so angry.

Publish it quick so I can get it and find out!

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I know someone asked this before here or on HW/SW, but can’t you do like a director’s cut of the book, where we get the old stuff and the “finished” version, too? Talk about a way to understand a writer’s process!

And have you ever thought that the way the older version is written is you sounding out, on “paper,” the aspects of their relationship, the bumps and corners of their personalities, the whole of their physical environment, IOW, all good stuff from the writerly POV, even if it doesn’t all belong in the book – a necessary exercise?

I love it.

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Plant notes: Ivy doesn’t die back in NC, even in the snow. Maybe it does further north. Shade perennials? Suggest leaving off the word “shade.” Some perennials flower early before trees leaf out. But basically no sun=no flowers.

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And I’m amazed that after reading the first 7 days of Zelda I can’t even see any of the bumps and rips you’ve been talking about. Can I buy YOU AGAIN now?

Also, I had a question about the house–you found Agnes’ house somwhere in the south with Bob and used that as your placeholder house, did you do the same with Rosemore?

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I don’t understand why Rose offers to help Zelda find out about her father NOW – the wanting-a-garden thing isn’t strong enough.

I enjoyed the house description stuff that got cut. Plus James buying the cat (although all the other folk art mentions turned into clutter) and Zelda comparing herself to a potted plant.

It’s going to be good.

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I liked both scenes. The first was clean and to the point. The second had some back story/info dump that didn’t really feel like infodump but answered questions that I had after reading the first scene. But as someone else said, I am sure you will include some of this in the book later so that is ok. Just don’t lose it all–it is good stuff!

I really loved the colorful animal art who all had blue eyes, just like Rose. Everywhere she looked, Zelda was reminded of Rose and she was surrounded by her, both figuratively and literally–no escape. Really liked that–hope you can find a way to put it back in. It gave me a better idea of what Rose is all about. (And there is that flamingo–you have always had a thing for flamingos, haven’t you? *grin*) And the fact that James bought them all with blue eyes–maybe a subtle jab at Rose that she doesn’t get? A little (private) joke he can share with Zelda?

And I like Scylla. The drama queen. Totally opposite of Zelda, the practical. The romantic and the pragmatist. Nice balance. Until James shows up and Zelda loses her balance. I like it a lot.

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I know this is obvious, but “Little-Known Plant Expert Dies in Freak Tree Accident” is so much more ironic than “Little-Known Cookbook Author Dies in Freak Tree Accident.” A plant expert killed by a plant! I love it! But I’m glad she wasn’t… killed, that is!

Can’t wait for the whole book!

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Zelda is great with a wonderful voice. I like her attitude. I want to find out more about her.

Rose is awesome in both versions — manipulative evil wrapped in charm and femininity. You hate to love her and love to hate her. I’m curious to find out who else she has her hooks in and why.

Even with the just-lost-her-mother bit, I still have a hard time connecting with Scyllia. Nor do I feel much sympathy for her.

In the second version, I don’t understand why Zelda is still hanging around with Scyllia especially since Zelda seems to / claims to hate all things associated with Rosemont. In the first version, it made sense because they were business partners. In the second version Scyllia is like like a ball-and-chain plot maguffin dragging things down.

Logically, as thing stand, Zelda could be lying to herself about hating all things Rosemont, but that does not come across in either version.

Now if Zelda’s mother had died and Rose had lured her out to Rosemont with the bait of “Do you want your mother’s things?” followed by the garden lure and the find your father lure. I can buy into that whole heartedly. It would also give added urgency to Zelda’s need to figure out who her father is — because otherwise, Zelda is an orphan.

Now if Scyllia were another victim of Rose’s manipulations and already on site when Zelda gets there…. I could buy into that. In both version 1 and version 2, Scyllia just feels like an excuse.

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I know you said it needs more work, but so far you’re doing great. You do have to figure out the timeline though. If she was conceived in 72 or 73 and she’s 39 now, then this book is set in 2011 or 2012. Please tell me that’s not how long we have to wait for it! Besides that, The Summer of Love was 1967 (although I realize it may have taken a while for the sexual revolution to reach the wilds of Ohio, but 5 or 6 years?) So if you can move the conception to 1968, then Zelda can be born in ’69 and be 39 in 2008, so we can have the book next year, right?

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But, you’re not getting rid of the flamingo from the original draft, are you?

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After seeing this I can say that I have read a lot of infodump-happy writers! But that is why they aren’t Crusie books!

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There’s some interesting backstory suggestions in the older version, and I like seeing some of them right now because I don’t have the whole book to read. However, all of the important parts of the backstory will show up throughout the rest of the book, so most of them don’t need to be present at the very beginning of the new version. I think you did a great job of keeping just the ones that will likely be central to keeping Zelda at the house and to foreshadowing the coming meeting between Zelda & James.

I got kind of hung up on the dates and years and ages, too, but that’s an editorial thing that will get fixed in re-writes, I imagine, so I moved on to get a sense of the story.

I love the change from writer to gardener. You might want to have Rose hire Zelda to design the garden, though, rather than “do” the garden. It’s winter … Zelda can’t actually begin planting the garden in winter, but she can spend 10 days designing the garden.

Thanks for sharing!

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